Catholic Weddings

How to approach this inappropriate situation?

There is a woman at my church whom I've known as long as I've been there, 10+ years. She's always been nice to me but I also know that she starts drama if she feels wronged.

She serves as an extraordinary minister of communion, among other things. The past few times I've gone to mass, she's served in the "family zone" where I now sit.

Last week, when I went up, she said "The Body of Christ" and then whispered that she was really glad to see us there with the baby that day. (I hadn't gone to that church in a while.) Today, I brought Darian with me and before she gave me communion she said, "First I want to see the baby."

This makes me REALLY uncomfortable and I think it's totally inappropriate. Going up for communion is a sacred and reflective moment and I really don't think it's right to chitchat through it.

WWYD? She's been doing it so long she probably doesn't even think about it anymore. I don't want to start drama, but her behaviour is not cool.
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Re: How to approach this inappropriate situation?

  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    First, I would contact her and tell her that you feel that she's overstepping her position and you would like her to stop.

    If she doesn't stop, I would contact your pastor.
  • Hope61Hope61 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You're correct-- that is extremely innapropriate. Thats a tough situation, but I would say talk to the priest, if you know him well enough and think he will handle it. Try to leave her name out of it--perhaps he can make a general instruction to the emhc's, either verbally to a group in private (ie not from the pulpit) or in the bulletin. HTH!
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  • edited December 2011
    We were instructed as EM's not to say anything other than "Body of Christ", not "Body of Christ, Mary" or "Hi", nothing.  I agree that you should mention it to the pastor without naming names.
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  • Riss91Riss91 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    That's just not okay! I would absolutely speak to the priest (without naming names). And I'd get in the priest's line for communion going forward.
  • edited December 2011
    Is there a person in charge of liturgy/liturgical ministers/extraordinary ministers? If there is, I would contact that person and let them know what's going on. They might be in the best position to say something more subtle, encourage retraining for longtime ministers, etc.

    I agree with Debbie, we are clearly instructed not to say anything but "The Body/Blood of Christ." She needs to chitchat/see the baby/whatever after mass, when it is more appropriate.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    honestly, this is why i never receive communion from anyone but the priest.  ever.
    i would speak to her directly, and if she cant handle what you say, then go to the priest.  you should also feel free to jump lines and receive from the priest.  there's no rule that says you must receive from whatever EM is in your sector.
  • edited December 2011
    WOW! Talk about taking a person out of the moment! I don't even like it when the one EM at one church I go to calls me by name ("Linda, the Blood of Christ.").

    I can also echo what the PPs have said...try to speak with her directly and gently first. You may be doing her a big favor.


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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I'm with most of the others.  I think someone (whether it be the priest or the person in charge of the eucharistic ministers) to remind all of the ministers that communion is a sacred time and that only the designated words should be said.  Basically, you just don't want her to feel singled out since you said she can start drama!

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  • edited December 2011
    I would speak to the priest privately, but I would name names. She needs to know what she is doing is wrong. If you use a generalization he can't really address the problem. Tell him how uncomfortable you feel. Something tells me you are not the only one she does this too and this way he can just remind her personally as well as maybe sending out a general remind to all the Extraordinary ministers of communion. I work at a church as a Pastoral Assistant and if this was happening at my church I would want to know who the individual is so I can nip the situation in the bud.
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