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April 2012 Weddings

Advice for April 2013 brides

Hey ladies I want to compile a post with any tips, tricks, beauty secrets, or advice you can give for the wedding planning process as well as the day of the wedding as we are married ladies now. I dropped by the April 2013 board the other day to congratulate them on their engagements and let them know they can pop in here for advice should they need any. In doing so they seemed very responsive and willing to get words from us. So just reply here with any info you want to share and I will put together a post for them in the next few days once everyone has had the chance to share. Thanks ladies for being such awesome friends to plan along side of. I know you will all give amazing advice and will help the next line of April brides to have the best weddings possible. ( I mean ours were the BEST right!!!)
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Re: Advice for April 2013 brides

  • My best advice is take everything one thing and day at a time .... the few weeks before your wedding ... make sure you do not stress out to the max ... try to remember to get some "you" time and relax and get plenty of rest .... i got SOOOOOOOO sick the week of the wedding i was at the DR 3 days before getting antiobiotics and a shot to make sure i was better by the big day ... all of it was caused by lack of sleep .....

    also ... try not to rush anything ... the days will go by faster then you think and before you know it you will be in your wedding month ... enjoy it ... embrace it ... 

    and remember ... this is about you and your man ... no one else ... make sure you keep the "you" in it and not get influenced by all the other parties involved ... in the end ... you and your man are the reason for the day and you want it how both of you guys envisioned it ... 

    im sure i can give LOADS and LOADS of advice and recommendations and whatnot ... but those were the 2 main things i definitely appreciated when i was told it 

    DONT FORGET TO USE YOUR KNOTTIES!!!! ... we are all here because we are going thru or have been thru the same thing ... 

    HAPPY PLANNING!
    IlanaandDanWedding291of1402 Anniversary
  • 1.  There will be hiccups.  Just know that they will happen, and they will be minor in the grand scheme of things, and you will still end up married.

    2.  There will be people that suck at RSVPing, and show up without telling you, and some people that say they are going to come will be MIA.

    3.  Allow yourself some buffer time on your day of.  You'll need it, no matter how much  you think you don't.

    4.  Get lots of sleep, drink lots of water. (that's not really a wedding tip, it's a life tip, but one that's forgotten pretty quickly in wedding planning).
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary
  • I love this idea!  :) 

    I agree w/ PP...the wedding is about you and your FI.  This time is precious and remember what it is all about.  The engagement goes very quickly - try not to overwhelm yourself and enjoy it.  We took one day a week to do nothing wedding related. 

    Take time on your wedding day to realize what the day is about...getting married.  There will be drama, there will be hicups.  Knowing that they WILL happen is half the battle.   
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  • Some of this may be repeated above/below but here are my tips:

    - Keep it in perspective--what do you REALLY care about, and what could you live without? Don't get carried away, it is just one day.

    - That being said... do what will make you and your future husband happy. Don't think about "well Auntie Sue hates chocolate" or "debbianne once said she thinks roses are overplayed at weddings" who cares!!

    - I took the Thurs/Fri off before my Sunday wedding and that was one of the best things I did. I could make sure everything was ready for the venues, even clean the apartment really well so I wouldn't have to worry about it when we got back! It also helped me catch up on sleep and just relax... which you will need!

    - My planning was really not stressful at all because I chose my vendors early and didn't second guess myself. I used the checklists provided on TK and other sites and that helped me stay on track and even ahead of schedule!
     
    - have fun! I didn't get too stressed or worked up during the wedding, the only time I got nervous was when they were bustling the dress and it made us a bit behind on our intros. It made me not quite ready for our (choreographed) first dance, but no one noticed. I didn't have an appetite until halfway through entrees, so while I believe everyone loved the food, I wish I knew for sure!!
    We're married! And we're ready to sell! http://nauticalwedding.weebly.com/index.html
    Anniversary
  • Ditto PP about having non-wedding time.  There were times that wedding planning was really stressful and it really helped to have designated nights out or dinners or whatever where we did not talk about anything wedding related.
    Vendors-  A good vendor will be flexible and receptive to what you want, instead of trying to force their ideas on you.  In the early stages, they can be a good resource on what to ask of other vendors, and with experience can give you recommendations if you are having trouble finding a particular vendor.  Alwaysalwaysalways review your contracts thoroughly- I found mistakes on three contracts that saved us from what would have been about $1000 in overpayment.  If you like a vendor but they are out of your price range, don't be afraid to ask if they can customize a package that better fits your budget, the worst that can happen is that they say no and you move on to someone else, not the end of the world.
    Be realistic in what you are going to do yourself.  Try to plan your projects now, even though its early, and work on them a little at a time.  Even doing that, there were multiple projects that when it came down to the wire, they ended up on the "screw it- I don't really need those" list.
  • Also, let people, especially your FI, help you throughout the planning process.  By asking for FI's input, I really felt like it was "our" day, and my original vision really evolved to reflect both of our tastes and I was really surprised by some of the things that were important to him that I thought he wouldn't have cared about.  I have heard from friends and other brides about fighting a lot as it got closer to the big day because they felt like FI wasn't helping, when FI thought that they were being excluded in the process, that it was all about the bride and her mom and friends or whatever.  As we got closer, I put FI in charge of certain vendor communications and scheduling so that it was a load off of my plate.  Also, my sister made a good DIY buddy- I live near her school so there were times that she would pop by and I would get lunch or dinner and we would sit and work on projects from my DIY to-do list; it made it easier for me to sit down and focus on getting stuff done, she got a free meal and some sister bonding time with me, which seemed more important as it got closer to the wedding.
    Stay organized.  Plan your budget, then your guestlist.  I only sent STDs to people that I was 100% sure that I wanted at my wedding and that lived out of town and would need to make travel arrangements.  This really helped when I got down-sized at work and our budget changed dramatically, because we weren't obligated to invite people that had originally been on the list. I created a spreadsheet with our guestlist/addresses, and checkboxes for when STDs and invites were sent, RSVP's were returned, meal selections, and now I am using it as a checklist for sending out TYs. It has made it super easy to have all the info in one place, and no details have fallen through the cracks; my coordinator saw it and told me I was the most organized bride that she has worked with in years.
  • Don't procrastinate with your planning.  If you have a lot to do, do it early when you can.  You'll be under enough stress as it is at then end, don't make more by having to finish up everything last minute.  (I learned this one the hard way)
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  • rlavachrlavach member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    I agree with every word of the PP's advice. My best tip is to stay organized and on task. Use TK checklist and budgeter as a guide. Make spreadsheets for your guest lists & vendor payments. Keep a calendar of all of your appointments and payments due. Tackle one vendor at a time & keep everything in one place (folder, binder). Give your MOH, BM and mom copies. You will be so happy you kept organized.

    Also, accept others help when they offer. My MOH helped me with a lot of DIY and I can't be more grateful. Definitely give yourself extra time the day-of. I highly recommend doing the first look if possible. It was such a stress reliever to see each other early in the day & get all of the pictures over with. We were actually able to enjoy our cocktail hour & weren't running around like crazy.

    Lastly, and you've heard this before, but take a moment during your reception to stop and observe your guests. It is such a magically wonderful moment to step out into the hallway and just look in. All of those people are there for you. That combination will likely never happen again. Enjoy it, savor it. Everyone says it flies by so fast & they're right.
  • I completely agree with everything PP's have said. Be warned that RSVP's will probably be the most frustrating part of the whole process. Like bigrout said, people won't RSVP; others will RSVP and not bother to show up. It's something that will happen and irritate the heck out of you, but on the day of, it won't really matter.
  • Try and not let anything stress you out through the process. I know it isn't a popular thing to say, but remember that your wedding is just a day. A very special day that you will remember for ever, but that does not entitle you to be mean to people, or become a bridezilla (Not saying any of you will!! But I will be the first to admit that I had to keep myself and emotions in check). But try and remember that leading up to the wedding. You will kick yourself if all you remember leading up to the wedding is fighting and tears. This is a wonderful time in your life, remember every moment.

    The Details in the wedding are great, they help to tie everything together, but you are truly the only person that will notice, so keep that in mind when you are stressing about getting the favors finished or the menu cards done.

    No one will care about your wedding as much as you do. Don't be surprised if your mom doesn't want to mull over ever wedding detail with you (Some mom's do...), your bridesmaids don't want to create centerpieces with you, or your vendors are not available on the weekends.

    Good luck and enjoy this time!

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  • Much of my advice is the same as previously posted. There's a reason we're all giving the same advice - it works!!

    Take time for yourself. If you can take time off the week prior to the wedding - even better. I only worked half days on Monday and Tuesday - and it was the best thing I could have done! By Saturday I was relaxed and everything was under control!

    Keep a spreadsheet of everything...from vendors to guest lists to how much money you estimated vs what you actually spent. I had an excel spreadsheet with multiple tabs, with a master sheet that linked different tabs. It kept me organized and the chaos at bay.

    Expect chaos. It will happen. If it doesn't, you're ahead of the game! People will forget to RSVP and show up, they'll RSVP and no-show, etc. They'll get upset about your choice of flowers, or lack of flowers, or a myriad of other details. Just remember that the day is about YOU and YOUR HUBBY and nothing else matters.

    I spent the week prior to the wedding with my girlfriends. Girlfriends from high school and college and other areas of my life all showed up and we spent several days talking and laughing and generally enjoying ourselves. It was FABULOUS!!

    Last, but not least, if you're a list person, keep lists of everything. From your DIY projects, to your vendors, to your drop dead dates for completing each project. It will literally save your life. Don't go overboard on DIY projects unless you have a lot of time to get them done. Do the most important ones first, so if you run out of time your most important one is completed. But - most important - ENJOY your day!! Laugh, and smile, and shed a few tears if you need to - but know that this is YOUR day, and it doesn't matter what anyone else says about your wedding or the drama they may cause prior. Have the wedding that makes the two of you happy, and don't worry about pleasing anyone else!!

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  • I agree with all of the above.  The one thing I would add is:
    You don't need to meet with a million vendors to find someone you are happy working with.  Read the reviews online, get general estimates to see if they could fit in your budget, and look at examples of their work.  Then, cut anyone that you have any doubts about.  Once you have the list down to 2-3, then set up meetings.  We looked at waaaay to many sites (the first thing we did) because I didn't trust my instincts.  By the time I booked flowers, I only needed one meeting to know that it was the right person for me.

    Good luck!
  • One more thing- if you are going to bridal shows or requesting info online from vendors- create a new email account or use a secondary account ( I keep a seperate email for store/coupon/general junk emails) because your info WILL get sold to everyone and their mom.  Only give your phone number to vendors that you are very serious about- I didn't give vendors my phone numbers until we were starting to meet in person.
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