Monday Vent

[Deleted User] · August 2011

Ok so long story short..

This weekend i finally talked with my MOH and told her i no longer wanted her to be my MOH but i wanted her to be a bridesmaid. It's been on going little things that made me come to this decision including feeling pressured by her for her to be MOH. When i told her i was engaged she was like "OMG am i your MOH?" and I kinda caved under pressure and told her yes. Well anyways after I told her I no longer wanted her to be MOH she freaked out and said she might as well just not come to the wedding. She even asked for her spare key back that I kept because she always locks her keys in her car so she totally broke up our friendship. It's not like it was an easy decision to do that but I know it was the right decision on my part.

Now i have got some work ahead of me.. I don't know who to ask to be a bridesmaid. I've already got a replacement MOH.. but I don't have many gf's cause i just really don't get along with girls too much.

Ok.. done! I feel better.

graysquirrel · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_monday-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:a968c394-b123-45ff-896a-a17e9e390b83Post:ed20532d-ff56-439a-b573-b717428aaa9e">Monday Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok so long story short.. This weekend i finally talked with my MOH and told her i no longer wanted her to be my MOH but i wanted her to be a bridesmaid. It's been on going little things that made me come to this decision including feeling pressured by her for her to be MOH. When i told her i was engaged she was like "OMG am i your MOH?" and I kinda caved under pressure and told her yes. Well anyways after I told her I no longer wanted her to be MOH she freaked out and said she might as well just not come to the wedding. She even asked for her spare key back that I kept because she always locks her keys in her car so she totally broke up our friendship. It's not like it was an easy decision to do that but I know it was the right decision on my part. Now i have got some work ahead of me.. I don't know who to ask to be a bridesmaid. I've already got a replacement MOH.. but I don't have many gf's cause i just really don't get along with girls too much. Ok.. done! I feel better.
Posted by agrubb88[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Although I don't know what the girl did to hurt you enough to kick her out of being MOH, I can honestly see why she reacted the way that she did. Booting someone from their position in one's wedding really is a friendship ending move. Did you have a talk with her about whatever it was that was bothering you before you made your decision, or did it blindside her? Finding out that you are no longer wanted, to feel so special one moment and then to be pushed aside only to be replaced really hurts. If it were me I'd want nothing to do with a wedding I was removed from and wouldn't want to be friends with that person either. What happened that you kicked her out?

</div>

SSaltzman87 · August 2011

Why was she 'demoted'?

I could certainly see why she was hurt, what you did was honestly very hurtful.You made the mistake of validating her assumption of being MOH, and you can't really go back on it. Also like PP said, to be special one moment then be knocked down in another is a huge blow. I wouldn't be friends with someone who did that to me.

SuperRNluvsChef · August 2011

I agree with PP's. You never demote someone in your BP. And it looks even worse that you're replacing her. Because it makes her look likes she's a replacable friend. Def a shady move on your part. Sorry your situation sucks but I don't really have any sympathy for you.

MrsBassPlaya · August 2011

I agree with the ladies. If I were your former MOH, our friendship would very likely be over. I would worry less about who you want to be a bridesmaid and how to maybe salvage your friendship if that's even possible. But from the way things sound, you don't seem to want that.

And to be honest, being pressured into making her the MOH because she asked is kind of a lame excuse. I had the displeasure of my future MIL hugging my SIL and telling her she'd look so gorgeous in her bridesmaid dress before I had the opportunity to tell my SIL she wasn't going to be a bridesmaid in the wedding. (I would have earlier, but I lived out of town, and I wanted to speak to her in person.) Yet I still took her aside privately right after the incident and explained to her that what my future MIL did was a huge mistake and I had chosen other girls to be in my wedding party. You definitely could have told your friend that you had chosen another MOH or were still in the process of making the decision when she asked.

emilykathleen511 · August 2011

Unless she tried to sleep with your fi or tried to set your wedding dress on fire, there was no, I repeat NO reason to "demote" your friend. When she asked if she was your MOH in the first place, you should have said, "We haven't made any decisions about our wedding party yet." Once you told her she was your MOH, YOU have to live with the decision YOU made. Don't try to pass it on as her fault that you said she was your MOH. I don't blame her for her reaction at all.

tpender13 · August 2011

Yeah, I agree w/the PPs as well.

Congrats on having a "replacement" MOH -- she must feel really special. (<-- sarcasm font)

SuperRNluvsChef · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_monday-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:a968c394-b123-45ff-896a-a17e9e390b83Post:710d8f73-b90c-40ac-9c8c-ad3a47b689b8">Re: Monday Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, I agree w/the PPs as well. <strong>Congrats on having a "replacement" MOH -- she must feel really special. (<-- sarcasm font)
</strong>Posted by tpender13[/QUOTE]

Love.

kaylas16 · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_monday-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:a968c394-b123-45ff-896a-a17e9e390b83Post:ed20532d-ff56-439a-b573-b717428aaa9e">Monday Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok so long story short.. This weekend i finally talked with my MOH and told her i no longer wanted her to be my MOH but i wanted her to be a bridesmaid. It's been on going little things that made me come to this decision including feeling pressured by her for her to be MOH. When i told her i was engaged she was like "OMG am i your MOH?" and I kinda caved under pressure and told her yes. Well anyways after I told her I no longer wanted her to be MOH she freaked out and said she might as well just not come to the wedding. She even asked for her spare key back that I kept because she always locks her keys in her car so she totally broke up our friendship. It's not like it was an easy decision to do that but I know it was the right decision on my part. Now i have got some work ahead of me.. I don't know who to ask to be a bridesmaid. I've already got a replacement MOH.<strong>. but I don't have many gf's cause i just really don't get along with girls too much.</strong> Ok.. done! I feel better.
Posted by agrubb88[/QUOTE]

Shocker?

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