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Chit Chat
Is This Creepy or What?
My FI and I live in a fourplex. Our current next door neighbor is a bit pushy and can be obnoxious. She's an older woman, up in her 50s, with 2 adolescent sons. She's been known to bang on our door wanting to borrow crazy things like ice, tortilla chips, and gasoline. I've had issues with her overstepping her boundaries and have spoken to her about invading my privacy.
This morning as I was leaving for work, she was outside on our stairs and started singing at me. I thought she was just being weird, as always, but then she announced- rather happily- that she had discovered that there were certain spots in her apartment where if she puts her ear to the wall, she can hear every little thing going on in our apartmant. She then informed me that she had been listening to me and my FI singing last night and started laughing. I was- and still am- horrified. This woman just flat out admitted that she listens in on me and my FI. How long has she been doing this and what all has she heard? This raises all kinds of issues. I was so dumbfounded by this that I couldn't even think of a response. I feel like my privacy has been violated. This woman has mental problems (she has had her sons taken away from her in the past and she talks openly about it,) and she doesn't work, so she is home pretty much 24/7. The thought of her sitting next door with her ear against the wall eavesdropping on us is one I find extremely disturbing. Does anyone else find this disturbing? How would you respond if your neighbor made a similar announcement to you? I am trying to decide on a civilized way to approach this issue and let this lady know, listening in on our private lives is NOT OK. I am pretty upset over this.
This morning as I was leaving for work, she was outside on our stairs and started singing at me. I thought she was just being weird, as always, but then she announced- rather happily- that she had discovered that there were certain spots in her apartment where if she puts her ear to the wall, she can hear every little thing going on in our apartmant. She then informed me that she had been listening to me and my FI singing last night and started laughing. I was- and still am- horrified. This woman just flat out admitted that she listens in on me and my FI. How long has she been doing this and what all has she heard? This raises all kinds of issues. I was so dumbfounded by this that I couldn't even think of a response. I feel like my privacy has been violated. This woman has mental problems (she has had her sons taken away from her in the past and she talks openly about it,) and she doesn't work, so she is home pretty much 24/7. The thought of her sitting next door with her ear against the wall eavesdropping on us is one I find extremely disturbing. Does anyone else find this disturbing? How would you respond if your neighbor made a similar announcement to you? I am trying to decide on a civilized way to approach this issue and let this lady know, listening in on our private lives is NOT OK. I am pretty upset over this.
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Re: Is This Creepy or What?
Good Luck!!
And overall... just... what the hell??
Don't do anything that may provoke her. At most, I think I'd move any TVs, speakers or radios that you have against any shared walls. This will drown out her ability to hear what's going on in your apartment. They don't have to be loud because the walls will amplify the sound (had this from some obnoxious neighbors I once had).
(For the future, please use the enter key to form paragraphs. It's much easier to read long posts if there are breaks.)
AKA GoodLuckBear14
The disgusting status of her house, on the other hand, is something different. That could infect your apartment with bugs and rodents. That definitely needs to be addressed with the rental company. Please don't allow concerns for her sons to stop you from reporting it. Her sons would be better off for it in the end.
And finally, this woman seems to have an unhealthy fixation on you. Babysitting and doing odd jobs for her will encourage that behaviour by making her think that you want to have some form of a relationship with her. Cut off all that kind of contact except for perhaps a polite neighbourly nod if you pass her in the hallway.
I understand that your main concern is for the kids here, but when you think about it, as bad as it would be for the boys to be taken out of the house again ... is it really that much worse than them living amongst maggots and rodents with a BSC mother?
I mean, that really isn't a healthy environment for them to be in at all.
If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
"Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
What MNIN and Meg said. I'm seriously concerned for her kids. Call CPS.
As for the kids, you are doing them more of a disservice by not reporting their living conditions.
I also keep track of any time I hear her yell at her boys, for any possible signs of abuse. For the most part they seem like they are ok, though I can tell they do not like nor respect their mother. But, most kids that age don't, and frankly in their case, I don't blame them.
Thank you all for the advice. My FI's response when I told him about this was "...maybe she means she can hear us play (our guitar and violin) over here..." But her statement insinuated that she had already discovered she could hear everything that was going on over here, and that she had been listening in on us singing the night before... in fact she seemed to be mocking my singing (which she wouldn't have heard had she not had her freaking ear pressed to the wall! It's not like I sit around, belting out songs at the top of my lungs.)
FI and I are planning on moving. We've been looking into buying a house, although unfortunately our current financial situation might put a hold on that plan. We were hoping to be able to buy a house within the next year (it would be nice to have our own house once we're married,) but it might be a little longer than that.
I have noticed that crazy neighbor lady has a sister who checks up on her often. I wonder if she is a conservator, and maybe part of the terms of this women getting custody of her boys back was that she had to be monitored by someone. I honestly think the boys would be better off living with the aunt. I am hoping to have a word with her the next time I see her, both about the sanitary conditions of the apartment and the whole eavesdropping situation. If this "woman" who lives next to me is going to act like a child who can't take care of herself, then I will speak to her "guardian" about it.
As for the kids, don't worry about traumatizing them by having them taken away. These kids NEED to be taken away. While foster homes aren't that great, those kids would be much better off than in that filth. Those kids need a stable environment. I have no idea what she did to get them back once they were already taken, considering it sounds like she's definitely crazy and is disgusting.