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Michigan-Detroit

is it really worth it?

We do all this planning and spend all this money for one day.  Why do we stress ourselves out about all the little things when  I doubt anyone else cares.  I never wanted to elope and I'm not having that big of a wedding but I'm just starting to get over whelmed.  I feel like I have so much to do and never enough time.  I try to step away from planning but it's always on my mind.  I'm doing a lot of DIY stuff and just looking at all the stuff in bags and boxes sitting there scares me.  Right now I would love to just do a destination wedding but the reasons are still the same why we didin't in first place and I would hate to lose the money already invested.  Maybe I'm just to hormonal today or something but I'm not really excited about the wedding right now.
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Re: is it really worth it?

  • edited December 2011
    We all go through it- there was definitely a period where I wanted nothing more than to chuck it all and elope...

    Step back for a bit and just breathe- remember what is most important about the day- you are marrying your BFF!

    Don't let other people rain on your parade- everyone has their opinion of what your wedding should be, but they are generally projecting what THEY want onto you.

    Stress away- that's what we're here for.....
  • edited December 2011
    It was worth it to me! W

    hen I started feeling the way you do right now - I took about 1 wek off from wedding stuff and just got away! I needed to be away from it all.

    try to get some friends to help -people that are reliable and that won't overwhelm you with opinions.

    Take a break, refresh and then get back to planning! :)

    you still have 5 months to go, so taking a week off won't hurt you at this point.

    GL & feel better :)
  • mink492mink492 member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Is is worth it? Yes. 100%.
  • edited December 2011
    Was it worth it?  Yes.  After having my wedding, it made everything 100% worth it.  And yes, a lot of other people do care.  Many of my guests thanked us profusely afterward and said it was the best time they've ever had.  Additionally, our wedding had taken on even more meaning since DH's mom won't be with us anymore.  His whole side of the family has been calling since the stroke telling us how happy and relieved they are they we all got together at the wedding.

    Also, we all go thru what you are feeling.  There were many days that I just wanted to throw my hands up and take off to Vegas to elope.  When you start feeling like this, take a wedding free weekend.  Don't do anything wedding related, so think about the wedding, just relax and have a good time with your FI.  It truly helps.  This advice was given to me by these brilliant girls on this board, and it's some of the best advice I received.
  • Julz629Julz629 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think you're letting the stress of your dress get to you.  I understand this is definitely not how you wanted things to be, and it sucks that you have to go out and find a whole new dress, but don't lose sight of the big picture here.  You are marrying the man you love, and you will get to celebrate with all your friends and family.

    I know you're in a time crunch with this dress -- so go out there and find a dress, and then go have a big glass of wine, and take a week away from it all.  You're still 5 months out so everything else can wait and you need a mental break from it all.

    I am not married yet, but I have also had moments during the process where I am extremely stressed....but I still know that in the end it will all be worth it.
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  • edited December 2011

    Yes, in my opinion it is 100% worth it!

    I did have my moments of frustration but always knew that I wanted the wedding we were planning (though there were plenty of times when I wish we had made it smaller, simpler, etc. 

    But we had the BEST NIGHT!  Even DH LOVED it and he was all about getting married with just our parents on the beach. We got to marry each other and think about the life we would build together and then celebrate with almost ALL of our friends and family.  It was SO cool to see all of our “worlds” merge in one room – his family, my family, our friends, work people – so cool to get all the people we care about together.  And we have great memories and awesome pictures!  People are still talking about it and that’s SO cool! 

    Afterward I wish I had been able to “suck it up” and get more DIY projects, etc done because the night was so great and all of the hard work was worth it.  But I just ran out of time and motivation.  I would also do it all over again in a heartbeat.  I keep joking that everyone should get married every 10 years or so. 

    I agree with PP.  Get this dress thing (which totally sucks) knocked out and then step away for a little while.

    HTH!

  • edited December 2011
    I had moments, oh who am I kidding weeks where I wanted nothing more than to just take H and go to the courthouse and be done with it.

    But it was worth it, 100% - our wedding day was so special because we were surrounded by our friends/family. Those DIY projects will get done. And if they don't get done your wedding will be beautiful regardless.

    I'm willing to bet a large portion of your frustration is dealing with the dress issue. Once that is resolved I'm sure you'll feel a huge relief and don't be afriad to put all that DIY crap in a closet where you can't see it and take a week or two off of wedding stuff altogether. It really helps to take a break.
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  • edited December 2011

    I agree with PP's....get the dress sorted out and then take a little break.  after that, try to focus on what that day really is, a celebration of your love and the start of a new chapter in your life with your best friend/soul mate/whatever you prefer. 

    knowing that after I get through all the ups and downs of DIY and being engaged and crazy family etc, I get to be married to FI, has helped me immensely.  hang in there.

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  • edited December 2011
    To answer your question, YES, absolutely worth it.

    Take a wedding break.  Forget about a week, you can take a month off and still be fine... just work on figuring out your dress thing and don't worry about anything else wedding wise if you're not feeling it!
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