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Wedding Guestlist Woes!

aquari0216aquari0216 member
500 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
in African American Weddings
Fiance had a hard upbringing and not expecting much of his family who mostly live out of state to come to our wedding. My family and close friends make up almost double our limit, which is 100 guests. I do not want to make him cut anyone out because we dont have much faith in them but there is always that 'what if?' factor. So im doing most well pretty much all the cutting....and it isnt that i wont enjoy my day if those i dont invite dont come...its that i feel i owe so many ppl....thats my personal ugh....but besides all of this, Im footing the majority of the bill...fiances job doesnt allow him much to save. Am I doing right?
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Re: Wedding Guestlist Woes!

  • nursing2unursing2u member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_wedding-guestlist-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:a7e0ca09-47a5-42f1-b0fc-909c6aa22d58Post:69b76980-2eb3-43ae-9262-775c475e4908">Wedding Guestlist Woes!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Fiance had a hard upbringing and not expecting much of his family who mostly live out of state to come to our wedding. My family and close friends make up almost double our limit, which is 100 guests. I do not want to make him cut anyone out because we dont have much faith in them but there is always that 'what if?' factor. So im doing most well pretty much all the cutting....and it isnt that i wont enjoy my day if those i dont invite dont come...its that i feel i owe so many ppl....thats my personal ugh....<strong><em>but besides all of this, Im footing the majority of the bill...fiances job doesnt allow him much to save. Am I doing right?
    </em></strong>Posted by aquari0216[/QUOTE]

    I think that it is totally up to the both of you to decide what is best for you... But this lil piece that you put in here about you footing the majority of the bill.... imo.... this is about you two coming together as ONE... i dont think it's about who is spending the most... That sounds like if you cut your people and his people show up or dont show up...you're gonna be upset and its not about that.. there should be some way to compromise.. which is what marriage is all about....

    Dont mean to sound mean or anything like that.... SO FAR FROM THE TRUTH... I just dont want you going into this feeling like if you're paying the most you make most of the decisions... that will cause some problems in the future.... this is just my opinion though...

    I hope it helps<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />
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  • footballwife77footballwife77 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_wedding-guestlist-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:a7e0ca09-47a5-42f1-b0fc-909c6aa22d58Post:69b76980-2eb3-43ae-9262-775c475e4908">Wedding Guestlist Woes!</a>:
    [QUOTE]<font color="#FF0000">

    1. Fiance had a hard upbringing and not expecting much of his family</font> .

    <font color="#FF0000"> 2. I do not want to make him cut anyone out because we dont have much faith in them but there is always that 'what if?'</font>

    3.  <font color="#FF0000">Im footing the majority of the bill...fiances job doesnt allow him much to save.</font> Am I doing right?
    Posted by aquari0216[/QUOTE]

    1. Me too
    2. I think you should Invite- and see what happens from there (how many rsvp).
    3.  I think that although he cannot financially handle most of the expense, he should still get some say and invite who he wants because it's both of you guys' wedding day. I don't think money trumps input in this situation.

    Sorry sweetie, probly not the advice you were hoping for :(
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  • MrsBad13MrsBad13 member
    Tenth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    What Footballwife and Nursing said. Im footing most of the cost and doing all the prepping and planning too but when FI does have some sort of want I compromise so he can enjoy HIS wedding day too by doing my best to make it happen.
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  • M1ssJM1ssJ member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    FI and my mom are paying most of the bill. Of the 190 coming 20 are my fianc friends and family. I knew his family wouldn't come. We invited them anyways and had 30 40 invites printed with a second RSVP date so when we got all his people's declines we could invite people we mutually knew
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  • leatbaleatba member
    500 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    I am right along with you except FI's family is very supportive, there just aren't a lot of them. I am not happy about having to choose between my family and friends; however, I am putting on my big girl panties and making cuts. Some of my family will be mad; however, I have some friends that have been more supportive so those are who will get invited.

    I know the girls on the E board will cringe but I do have an A list, B list and C list. It helping me put into perspective who We feel is most important vs who we feel obligated to invite. (Obligations are on the C list)
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