- Last Active
I read this question this morning during breakfast and couldn't wait to get here to see everyone's take here on it. I need more popcorn!
We did 5 sessions of pre-marital counseling through my workplace EAP (Employee Assistance Program) before our marriage. We were already living together, had only had two minor arguments in the 2 years we'd been dating, and had been friends for a year and a half before we started dating.
Did I think we *needed* pre-marital counseling? No. But I wanted to sit down with a neutral third part with different/longer life experiences. I thought the third party could bring up ideas or issues we may not have considered yet, things that can be major issues of contention: finances, children, future parental care, work plans, life plans, etc.
We had good discussions, learned more about each other, and worked on our communication during the sessions. It was totally worth the time we invested in it.
I read it as a way for Laura to stay involved, noticed, praised, and relevant in the man's life, or afterlife as it is now.
Just happened to us. Married in June, friend who was invited was deployed in May. We still sent his invitation, he sent us lovely lamps from his deployment location completely unexpectedly. Our thank you note will be tucked in a package of fun stuff for him when we send it to him.
We'll be married three weeks tomorrow, so not much time to notice any changes. For me it doesn't feel any different, it's more I'll catch myself thinking "we're married?" But we just got our official marriage certificate in the mail so I guess we are!
We lived together for about a year and a half before marriage. I can't remember when he moved in, actually. So not much has changed. We haven't really had much time to think about it either, what with family here visiting for the wedding. And then a friend had a crisis which necessitated us helping out by watching her two year old all last weekend. I appreciated the discussion regarding alcoholics on another thread, I've never dealt with anything like this and I learned a lot from it.
We're child-free too! Mostly driven by my H as he very firmly does not want kids. I was on the fence, but decided I'd rather spend my life with a wonderful guy having adventures then go looking for a guy who wanted to have kids.