Mircakes member

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Mircakes
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  • Re: Should I have walked out on the racist nail lady?

    Mircakes said:
    I'm already a rich white lady paying a non-white immigrant to perform a personal service for me at a business I surely strongly suspect isn't following the labor laws. Seems a bit pot kettle for me to call her racist in this situation. 
    I don't really get this comment, maybe you could explain.

    I'm not getting what being a rich white woman has to do with speaking up against racism. And I personally don't believe that one needs to be perfect in order to speak out against racist ideas/behavior. Unless you, too, are a racist, it wouldn't be "the pot calling the kettle." 
    I mean that I'm the privileged one in the situation. I'm the one with the power. I'm the one knowingly participating in something I know isn't ideal. If you're thinking you're getting a $25 pedicure and she's being paid legally you're dreaming. Just seems a bit off to me in those circumstances to then be all high and mighty and flounce out when she isn't perfect either. There's plenty of racism to fight coming from my equally privileged white folks; I don't feel the need to be particularly on top of someone vulnerable about it. I don't think what she said was good or right I just don't think it's my place to be shocked and outraged. Obvi most of you disagree that's just where I'm coming from. 
    Being a privileged person does not mean that you cannot speak up against racism, and in fact, being a person of privilege puts you in an excellent position to serve as an ally to marginalized groups. Saying "I won't say anything because I'm a rich white woman" is a cop-out. As I said to someone else, I'm not saying you should storm out of the nail salon, but you can acknowledge that the comment was racist. And again, it isn't the pot calling the kettle black... unless you agree with what she is saying. 
    justsie
  • Re: Should I have walked out on the racist nail lady?

    eileenrob said:
    Mircakes said:
    I'm already a rich white lady paying a non-white immigrant to perform a personal service for me at a business I surely strongly suspect isn't following the labor laws. Seems a bit pot kettle for me to call her racist in this situation. 
    I don't really get this comment, maybe you could explain.

    I'm not getting what being a rich white woman has to do with speaking up against racism. And I personally don't believe that one needs to be perfect in order to speak out against racist ideas/behavior. Unless you, too, are a racist, it wouldn't be "the pot calling the kettle." 
    I mean that I'm the privileged one in the situation. I'm the one with the power. I'm the one knowingly participating in something I know isn't ideal. If you're thinking you're getting a $25 pedicure and she's being paid legally you're dreaming. Just seems a bit off to me in those circumstances to then be all high and mighty and flounce out when she isn't perfect either. There's plenty of racism to fight coming from my equally privileged white folks; I don't feel the need to be particularly on top of someone vulnerable about it. I don't think what she said was good or right I just don't think it's my place to be shocked and outraged. Obvi most of you disagree that's just where I'm coming from. 
    ^ I knew where you were coming from @STARMOON44.  
    @mircakes If someone wants to walk out halfway through a predicure or not tip or complain to management, be my guest.  Racism is messed up no matter who says it, but it is easier to feel high and mighty when you witness overt racism.  I just certainly hope you're also calling out white friends for microagressions and more subtle, covert racism, which is super common.
    As a black woman, you can bet your bottom that I do call it out. I am not saying you should storm out of the nail salon, but if you are a person who witnesses the spread of racism/prejudice and you just turn a blind eye to it, you are a part of the problem. Plain and simple. 
    short+sassykimmiinthemitten
  • Re: Should I have walked out on the racist nail lady?

    I'm already a rich white lady paying a non-white immigrant to perform a personal service for me at a business I surely strongly suspect isn't following the labor laws. Seems a bit pot kettle for me to call her racist in this situation. 
    I don't really get this comment, maybe you could explain.

    I'm not getting what being a rich white woman has to do with speaking up against racism. And I personally don't believe that one needs to be perfect in order to speak out against racist ideas/behavior. Unless you, too, are a racist, it wouldn't be "the pot calling the kettle." 
    OurWildKingdomMobKaz
  • Re: The "no thank you card" trend

    I've never written thank you cards for birthdays, but I also never really got gifts from people other than my parents and maybe grandparents. I've also never gotten a thank you card for a birthday gift. 

    But for my college graduation, better believe I wrote out thank you notes and mailed them off to anyone and everyone who gave a gift. And for my wedding I will, without a doubt, do the same. But, I also came from a family where good manners are very important. 
    short+sassy
  • Re: 2nd wedding family being weird?

    You have to remember that nobody is as excited for your wedding as you (and your FH) are, and this is probably especially true for a second marriage. Your family was already really involved in your first marriage, and they probably got it "out of their system," so to say. So I'd bet that this time they are happy and excited for you, but simply not as much because they have done this before. 


    InLoveInQueensCMGragainBecca&Shannon