SaintPaulGal member


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  • Re: Non-traditional invite wording: okay?

    Thanks to you both for the feedback!  Yes, my parents are closing in on 40 years of marriage and they kept their names when they wed.  My name is Herlast-Hislast, and both are on the long side which is why I didn't include our middle names.  I'm glad that is okay.  (That's okay, right?)

    I totally intended to write out the date but just typed the numbers out of habit. One of many reasons why it is always good to have extra sets of eyes!
  • Re: NWR: What to do about a stranger's mental health

    KnottieJanel, he is currently subject to a no trespass order, but I'm honestly not sure he is in a state of mind to understand what that is right now.  

    And @MissKittyDanger, my colleagues have definitely spoken to him, but he got very troublesome before it became clear that there was a mental health issue in play.  He refused to pay for his room, name dropped us to get more free services that were then charged to us, and a few other things that make the people dealing with him feel less than charitable towards him.  Basically at this point tensions are too high for anyone to be able to do much to encourage him to get help directly.  

    I don't want to just ignore him and find out later that something horrible happened to him, but I'm also not sure it is my place to get involved.  Ugg. Based on what his facebook says, his parents live in a town an hour or so away from here.  No idea if he has a support system in this city.
  • Re: Ceremony script critique

    How about this, to incorporate both sentiments:

    "This ceremony will grant you all the rights and responsibilities of a legal union, but it will not create a relationship that does not already exist between you..."
  • Ceremony script critique

    First of all: hi!  I haven't been around in a while because my office randomly started blocking The Knot.   :/  I'm working from home today, so woo!

    I sat down last night and did a draft of my ceremony script.  The wedding isn't until July so I have some time, but I will feel good knowing that this part is taken care of. A close friend of ours will be officiating, and she will say whatever we want. Mutuality and love without the syrupy-sweet fairy tale trope are kind of our guiding forces.

    Some is my own original writing and some is adapted from other ceremony scripts I found online.  What do you all think?  


    Officiant down the aisle

    Groomsmen down the aisle 

    GROOM + parents down the aisle

    Bridesfolk down the aisle

    BRIDE + parents down the aisle

    Officiant: Family, friends, and fellow travelers on the path of life: welcome!  We are gathered here today to celebrate one of life’s greatest moments, and to cherish the words which shall unite GROOM and BRIDE in marriage.

    Marriage is the promise between two people who love each other, who trust in that love, who honor one another as individuals, and who have decided to spend the rest of their lives together.

    This ceremony will not create a relationship that does not already exist between you. It is a representation of how far you have come in the past five years. It is symbolic of the promises you will make to each other to continue growing stronger as individuals and as partners throughout the years ahead.

    Today, your lives, which began on separate paths, will be joined as one.  The nature of this coming together is expressed in the poem Union by Robert Fulghum.

    “You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

    The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”

    Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.

    For after today you shall say to the world –

    This is my husband. This is my wife.”

    With this in mind, we proceed to the declaration of intent.

    Do you, GROOM, take BRIDE to be your wife, offering her your love and encouragement, your trust and respect, as together you create your collective future?


    Officiant: Do you, BRIDE, take GROOM to be your husband, offering him your love and encouragement, your trust and respect, as together you create your collective future?


    Officiant:  The couple has prepared vows to seal the occasion 

    GROOM:  GROOM VOWS (with this ring…)                          

    BRIDE:  BRIDE VOWS  (with this ring…)

    Officiant:  GROOM and BRIDE, you have expressed your love to one another through the commitments and promises you have just made. It is with these in mind, and by the power vested in me by the state of Minnesota, that I now pronounce you husband and wife.

    You have kissed a thousand times, maybe more.  But today the feeling is new.  You are no longer simply partners and best friends.  I invite you now to share your first kiss as husband and wife.

    Before we close today, we will look back on an old German tradition.  In Bavaria, it was customary for the bride and groom to conclude their wedding ceremony by jointly sawing a log in half.  The log symbolizes the first challenge they must confront together in their marriage.  Neither spouse can wield the saw alone; it is only together that they can accomplish the task at hand.  Will you bring in the log [2 wedding party members carry log on sawhorse, one additional carries saw].  GROOM, hold this end of the saw.  Use it with the full force of your being, giving and receiving in equal measure.  BRIDE, hold this end of the saw.  Use it with the full force of your being, giving and receiving in equal measure. [we saw the log.]

    Their work is done, and my work is also at an end.  I now present to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. GROOM and BRIDE!


    Anything you think should be changed/adapted/added/deleted?

  • Re: Last name?

    Our plan is to mash up chunks of each of our current names into a brand-new last names (example: Mr. Willowton and Ms. Mangrove become The Willowgroves).  The name chunks flow really well together, and I will be going from an 18-letter hyphenated name that no one can spell or pronounce to 7 letters that is pronounced and spelled exactly as one would expect.

    I would absolutely not be okay with just taking my partner's name.  I don't judge others who do, but it would violate my principles to do it that way.  I like the mutuality of creating something new together.
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