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Your sarcasm is no less rude than any exasperation I've expressed on here.
My tone was negative because I'd been attacked repeatedly. My first post was innocuous enough and not intended to start conflict. But I reached my limit after being attacked for having the audacity to do something that indicated I supported charity. And sorry, but I don't think telling people you've made a donation to a charity of their choice on their behalf is rude. And it's certainly no more attention seeking than putting on a wedding dress and throwing a party. It just has the benefit of doing something that's actually good in the world.
And in case it's not clear: I didn't ask anyone for cash! I gave them charity cards that had cash value on them. I merely asked them to pick the charity that it went to.
Hey, I have no objections to edible favors -- it just sounded more difficult to pick a food everyone would like. Whereas I had 300 options for charity. I really can't think of anyone I know who couldn't find a single one of those charities that they'd care to support. But if they didn't, they could leave the card behind or pass it on or something.
I don't see that posting about a charitable contribution is any worse than having a big fancy wedding where people can see you've spent tons of money on indulgences. In fact, I'd much rather see the charitable contribution than lavish over-the-top spending -- the latter is much more likely to seem gross to me.
What it is to you? If you don't want to give charity wedding favors, DON'T. I think it's a good thing. I'm glad I did it, and I'm glad other people do it. It's the only type of wedding favor I ever hope to receive. I couldn't care less about "appropriate manners."
If you give away some little whatnot, there's a good chance that folks will hate it and throw it away. If they hated the charity card, they could do the same. So what difference does it make? In my case, it resulted in a lot of emails where people told me which charities they'd chosen and why. I really enjoyed learning about that and I do feel joyful about it.
My original post is not for you -- it's for the folks out there who would like to do a charity option. I don't care whether you think that's good manners or not. Fortunately, not all of us are bound by silly rules.
Asking for charity cards is not asking for cash. And I didn't ask for charity cards. I gave people charity cards which they could use if they wanted or not use if they didn't want. It required zero cash on their part either way.