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minealone
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  • Re: BM dresses?

    It was more of a spur, reactive “don’t worry about it, i was planning on buying whatever dress you guys picked out as a gift for all your help anyway” kinda thing
    MesmrEwe
  • Re: Budget cocktail hour and dinner

    Its a huge difference, the pricing I got was ridiculous! Some of the caterers had $40-50 starting for their catering, but once I called they quoted me 95-125, this and I’m asking for a buffet, providing my own alcohol etc. smh

    thanks for the advice ladies! 

    Btw can I just say how much I love people here more than on other forums? Man they can be nasty


    charlotte989875short+sassymissJeanLouise
  • Re: Cultural sensitivities?

    MandyMost said:
    minealone said:
    I know that I’m not appropriating my own culture lol I’m not worried about that part.

    I was more worried about my guests having fun and not second guessing what they can or cannot do I guess. Personally, I wouldn’t mind seeing people dancing around in a turban and having fun with it. I think its all innocent fun in this particular context, but I wonder if some guests might give others that side eye and be uncomfortable with it. I want people to enjoy my culture, but I definitely don’t want my wedding to turn into a judgy political/social discussion, especially since his family is mostly conservative and our friends are very liberal. And yeah, I was a bit concerned with the possible social media backlash. I’m probably just overthinking it. 

    It didn’t occur to me that the props don’t have to match the background, thanks everyone! 

    Experiencing someone else's culture is a beautiful thing. I've been to weddings that incorporated bagpipes and kilts for a bride with Scottish heritage, or that had a Korean mini-ceremony as part of the reception, or that had a full double-ceremony: one Indian and one American, etc. I loved seeing the different attire, music, dances, etc. and participating in these celebrations. You have nothing to worry about if you are sharing your culture with your guests. 

    Where you should be concerned, even though you are of the specific culture, is turning it into a stereotype and encouraging your guests to treat your culture like a game. 

    Therefore, decor, music, ceremonies, etc. celebrating the aspects of your culture that you want to share with your guests are great. Having props in a photobooth that are stereotypes of your culture are not a good idea. 
    I agree with this completely. Sharing one's culture is a wonderful thing, and you certainly shouldn't be afraid to do that. But items that are sacred or otherwise special to a particular culture shouldn't be used as props or toys. I say have the background you want to have, but stick with the typical photo booth props. 
    This was my concern exactly. For instance I was wondering if having a Saudi head dress was a good idea or not. Its not ceremonial, it’s not special in any way for us. It’s what men wear to work every day. Some are fancier for special occasions like weddings, but it’s definity not sacred in any way. That being said, I don’t like how it’s portrayed in movies and shows. The term “towel head” is still used by people in a very derogatory manner. It’s not special or sacred, but there is a certain stereotype associated with it, so I was torn. I would like to see FH sporting it for a bit, because that’s what grooms wear where I’m from. I thought it would be nice for people to take pictures in because that’s what everybody wears, and if an American were to visit my home town, that’s one of the first gifts they’d get from a neighbor or coworker, because that’s just what you wear over there. I’ve given them out as gifts to my foreign friends when I lived there and it’s always a fun, good hearted experience.  People will take it off and twirl it around while they’re dancing because that’s just what they do. It’s an accessory so to speak. I think if more of my family were attending, knowing what they would wear, I wouldn’t think twice about it. But I’m on my own out here, first gen actually, and I’m struggling to figure out how people perceive what, to me, is normal. 

    I agree with with you guys though, if I’m second guessing something I’m just not going to do it. I do plan on incorporating some traditional Arabic things into our western ceremony with an explanation in the program. My brother (the only one in my family who supports our relationship) is teaching FH traditional Arab dancing, and they plan on doing the dance with their groomsmen at the reception. I also plan on hiring a belly dancer. Those things I’m not second guessing one bit and if anybody’s uncomfortable with it, well then too bad.

    I asked  FH if his family would think my ceremonial aspects are weird. We pour rose water—representing abundance—, sprinkle flowers for fertility, and gold coins for fortune over the newly weds feet. It’s done on the feet so that these blessings are laid at their feet, wherever they go. His response: “yeah, absolutely, but who cares?”  That makes me feel better. And I think people would really enjoy the dancing, I know I do.

    I’m just going to steer clear from those types of props and print out typical cut outs or something. 
    missJeanLouiseILoveBeachMusicSTARMOON44charlotte989875southernbelle0915MandyMostahoyweddingflantasticSP29MyNameIsNoteileenrob
  • Re: Cultural sensitivities?

    I know that I’m not appropriating my own culture lol I’m not worried about that part.

    I was more worried about my guests having fun and not second guessing what they can or cannot do I guess. Personally, I wouldn’t mind seeing people dancing around in a turban and having fun with it. I think its all innocent fun in this particular context, but I wonder if some guests might give others that side eye and be uncomfortable with it. I want people to enjoy my culture, but I definitely don’t want my wedding to turn into a judgy political/social discussion, especially since his family is mostly conservative and our friends are very liberal. And yeah, I was a bit concerned with the possible social media backlash. I’m probably just overthinking it. 

    It didn’t occur to me that the props don’t have to match the background, thanks everyone! 

    ahoywedding