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Any advice? Is her expecations reasonable/unreasonable? Is my response reasonable/unreasonable?
Your expectations of the bridal shops are unreasonable - unfair as it is, they can only carry a limited number of sizes for clients to try on. PP had great advice about shopping online. I avoid real stores & dressing rooms as much as possible.
Here's my proposed response:
"Sister, the dress you have selected is $80 over the highest end of my budget and the alteration costs would be much more expensive than expected. I've found several other purple dresses that are within my budget, for example X one and Y one, but if this specific shade is required I will need you to cover the additional cost."
She may respond that your dad has already offered to cover the additional cost so this is a non-issue, at which point you'd need to decide if that makes you uncomfortable enough to step down as bridesmaid.
- Do not bring up her behaviour at your own wedding or her bitchy personality or her expensive tastes or her own wedding budget. Irrelevant.
- Do not get involved in your nieces' dress issues. Unrelated.
- Do not go ahead and buy a dress from another line and "make her deal with it." Immature.
ahoywedding said:southernbelle0915 said:MandyMost said:Yes, sending every person over 18 their own invitation is technically correct, but it doesn't always make sense in practice. Some of my relatives would have totally balked at multiple invites going to the same house, and thought we were just throwing away money and showing off how much money we have to throw away.
knottie4329f471f0a951a2 said:for a single parent and teenager, how do we indicate that the plus one is for the teenager but not the parent?
You're not obligated to extend +1s to everyone, but I can imagine some hurt feelings if one person on the invitation got a +1 and the other didn't!
If the teenager is 18 or 19, send them a separate invitation. Once they hit adulthood they become their own "social unit" regardless of who they live with. If they're under 18 I'd go with the following:
Ms. ParentFirstname Lastname and Guest
Mr. TeenFirstname Lastname and Guest
I'm really not understanding the "entitlement" argument- I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm just saying I don't understand how that's what you're getting from this.
we do have our vision of our venue and honeymoon, and I'm not letting [consideration of my guests' time, money, and feelings] take that from me.
Look, you asked for advice on how to avoid surprising your guests with the lack of meal. Folks offered additional advice on how to avoid offending your guests with the lack of meal.
You've since stated you now know how to avoid the surprise and you don't care about avoiding the offence, so what more is there to say?
FFIL's probably right about vendors upping the prices for weddings but I doubt that calling it a "celebration of marriage" would make a difference to them anyway.
The caterer at your reception doesn't care if you got married 1hr ago or 24hrs ago. They know you still want the day to go perfectly and that they can charge you for it!
Glad that talking through the root of things helped you guys come to a better understanding, it almost always does