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  • Re: Marriage License Application/Notarization With Distance?

    Do you each fill out a separate application, or is it a joint application?  Will the two of you be together at any point before the wedding?  I would suggest calling the clerk's office and asking the question. I've honestly never heard of not being required to both be there in person to apply for a license, so this is foreign to me.
  • Re: Addressing Without a Calligrapher

    I...just hand wrote mine. They weren't tres fancy, but they got where they were going.
  • Re: DH vent

    kvruns said:
    *Barbie* said:
    @Heffalump I've gotten to the point on booking something the last couple of times for little weekend trips and telling him to take time off and what to pack. I was delaying on booking our PA trip because of his job situation, and finally was like, "look, it's only getting more expensive, just negotiate the PTO with them if they make you an offer." 

    mine: I was on a rampage last Thursday when I went to see one of my doctors and the specialist co-pay had increased 4x what it had been THE DAY BEFORE. After spending a solid 30 minutes on the phone with Cigna, I find out that DK's company changed their plan effective May 1, and yes, this *is* the new co-pay, and I might be on the line for a lot more over the past month, since my neurologist's office had been billing me the old, cheaper, co-pay. So I call DK and he was all, "i think HR sent out something about benefits a while ago - i didn't look at it."

    *cue murderous rampage*

    So after the appointment, I call Cigna again, and establish that my neurologist has been charging stuff incorrectly for a while, so the EOB for the last 2 months are all screwed up. (I might owe them something, but not as much as I was thinking -I still don't know.)

    Also, DK missed open enrollment because he thought it was just for new people to enroll. I was ready to kill him - we've been going to his company for healthcare for the last 4 years and he knows *NOTHING* about it. This headache could have been prevented if he just read his fucking e-mail and told me that there were plan changes. What if I fell off the face of the earth tomorrow? He should have some sort of basic understanding of how this stuff works. 
    wow you got lucky that they still enrolled him vs saying Charlie you didn't enroll so now you're not going to be covered for the next year.
    I think usually they just save whatever options you chose the previous year, right? 

    My vent - H doesn't like to buy certain things because he feels like he can make them for cheaper. But he never fucking does. I've been wanting a big ass cat tree for 3+ years and that whole time, every time I bring it up, he goes, "No, don't buy that! I can make it for less than half that price!" Honey, I am sure you CAN. But WILL you?

    Let's just put it like this - there's a joke that says, "If a man says he will do something, he will. No need to remind him every six months." H finds that FUCKING HILARIOUS. *violent eyeroll*

    Sometimes I feel frustrated with how we are supposed to/not supposed to treat men in general... like, you are not ever supposed to nag at a man because of his masculinity and he craves respect and blah blah. And in my experience, they ALL get mad when nagged. But when they don't fucking do what they are supposed to do and it fucks you over, what choice do you have??? Excuse me, but last I checked, there were two adults in this relationship. Why should I have to tiptoe around your sensitive emotions while important things don't get done? So you nag... and then you are a nagging bitch. So frustrating! H isn't too bad about this kind of thing - he seems to understand that he fucked up by letting it go too long (or whatever it is) - but my brother is awful about it and I feel terrible for his partners.
    Girl I hear you.  I waited for 2 years to get a bedside table because he just knew he could make me one from reclaimed pallet wood for super cheap.  He finally actually did it, but I had to go out and find the pallet, it took forever, and it's nice enough, but doesn't go with the rest of our furniture at all.

    Just last night H said I was nagging and I called him on it. I told him that he uses that word for everything I say that rubs him the wrong way. "I love that I have a nagging wife!" But if he gets on my case about anything, he's just expressing concern. Eff all that bullshit.

    My vent:  He has no idea what bills we have or when they are due. I owned our house before he moved in with me, so I obviously took care of actually paying all the bills.  I don't mind being the one that usually does this. There's a lot of things that he usually does around the house too.  That being said, I just recently got back from being an 8 hour drive away finding us a place to live since we're moving in a couple of weeks. During that time, both the water and power bills came in and were due shortly after their arrival. He didn't even open the envelopes. We also needed to pay the guy that does our lawn treatments, and I specifically asked him to take care of it, but that was also just sitting there waiting for me when I got back. When I brought it up, he said that it had just never been his responsibility. So I told him that if I said the same thing about, say, doing the dishes, he'd lose his shit. So now he thinks that I want him to be the one that pays the bills every other month or something, when in reality all I want is for him to recognize the big picture of what keeps the house hold running, and that sometimes we both might need to take on what the other normally would. That's all.
  • Re: Rehearsal Dinner

  • Re: Shower invites for folks not at the wedding?

    Jen4948 said:
    At my church ( and others in my area) - we always give every couple a shower, I consider this the same as a work shower and are exceptions.  Most of the couples have a wedding with their family and friends, but everyone from the church attends the shower, they would actually be offended if it was turned down.  
    But this doesn't work when the FMIL is the one hosting and when other persons are present. In that instance, it's not a "church shower."

    It could only be a "church shower" if all the guests are from this church group, and it doesn't sound like that's the case with this shower.
    I agree. It would be different if an unrelated church member volunteered and organized a church shower, much like a co-worker would. But it seems like FMIL here just wants a larger event and as such is assuming the 'services' of the church members.