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Awesome thanks ya'll! We have a group of people staying at our home where the wedding will actually be, so we having a "dinner" already (pizza). And then a game night with d&d and video games.
Unfortunately there is not a good way to move forward. Your wedding is six months away so hopefully by then everyone will have cooled off. I would have your FI ask her about a month before your wedding if she would like to do a reading, and if she says yes let her do it, and if she says no, leave it at that.
You could have just had uneven wedding parties and avoided everything. It does seem (IMO) that you B listed her to be in your wedding. You said you didn't even want a reading, but then decided to include one just to give her something to do. I would be mad at that too. She had no business kicking your FI out of her wedding though. That was wrong of her. It seems like some pettiness was had all around.
Good luck. Hopefully once some time has passed everyone will calm down and realize that this isn't the hill to die on.
Please, please, please, don't put it on your invitation. I see nothing wrong with including a paper along with your STD. I don't know if this is proper etiquette, but if I was an OOT guest I would appreciate all the info I could get early and in one place. Happy planning!
My dog is obsessed with stealing drinking straws.
No she isn't waiting to make a picture thank you card. She isn't exactly thrilled with her wedding pictures and has not even printed them for herself. I thought it might clue her in when I asked how many she needed for the wedding, but alas no such luck. Thanks for the replies and maybe this will be a good lesson for someone else out there.