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I don't think the formality of the event matters esp if you don't worry about etiquette. We are doing this for two reasons...1. All in it'll save us $80-100 to not buy reply cards and postage. We are paying for our own wedding so every penny counts. 2. My FI extended family does get etiquette that only those on the envelope are invited (I was told this by my FMIL) so using our weddingwire site will allow people to only rsvp for guests on the list (you have to type in say the family's last name and only those invited show up). I figure though if they don't get the etiquette of an addressed envelope they aren't going to know online RSVPs aren't Emily Post-approved. Go for it!
I know it is all based on the relative cost of living but $95 for 3 hairstyles is a STEAL for any of the places I lived. Plus the time, gas etc. Depending on her car, she'll probably use a whole tank of gas roundtrip so I'd tip her at least $50 (depending on how much it costs to fill a tank near you) between the three of you. If that is a stretch right now, which I totally get, I'd tip what you can now, and when you go for your next regular cut post wedding expenses, tip her extra big then. It may not be the standard way or ideal but she'll appreciate anything and whenever you can I'm sure!