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Re: Refusing a Plus 1?

Reply by LondonLisa · March 2016 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

I feel like this whole mess is because almost all the actors are being incredibly ineffectual. 1.) Your BM should never have forwarded you the conversation 2.) Jane should never have asked to you come 3.) No one can "invite themself" if you send them an invitation. She was rude to ask, but you could have said no. 4.) If…
Re: Refusing a Plus 1?

Reply by onefootinthebayou · March 2016 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

On mobile but standing O to all of you (with some notable exceptions including the screaming mimi - wtf even was that thing?). This is seems to be a new "trend" or something that good manners in general had more or less stamped out, but I've seen a lot more of this "couple determining whether our guests' relationships are…
Re: Refusing a Plus 1?

Reply by glasgowtolondon · March 2016 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

Just call her and tell her 'I'm so glad you can make our wedding! Unfortunately as we are keeping things small we are not able to accommodate any plus 1'. Done!
Re: Refusing a Plus 1?

Reply by lisakae44 · March 2016 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

I do know for sure about her relationship as she has commented on various social media about being single, and discusses it with my Bmaid frequently. Perhaps something has changed in the last few weeks, but I would not extend a +1 to that new of a significant other anyway. Our rule is long term SO/Fiance/Partner invited.
Re: Refusing a Plus 1?

Reply by thefanciestbeckler · March 2016 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

Your BM really shouldn't have answered for you, but whatever. That part is done now. It was rude of her to basically invite herself and then invite another person. Just tell her you're keeping it small and can't accommodate a plus 1. She can then make the call as to whether she still wants to come.
Re: Refusing a Plus 1?

Reply by banana468 · March 2016 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

Totally rude. DH and I were serious quickly. My BIL was shoppingoing for rings at 6 mo and bought a condo w/his wife before the 1 year mark. Be happy that we are helping you avoid a monumental mistake. Any guest in a relationship should be invited with his/her SO. Period. The GUEST determines if the relationship is…
Re: Refusing a Plus 1?

Reply by tigerlily6 · March 2016 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

Jumping into the fray to agree with most PPs -- invite the SOs. That doesn't mean every single person gets a +1, but if your guest has an SO and you know that, then they should be allowed to bring them. I speak here as somebody who was told once my SO (FI) could not be accommodated at a wedding due to a cap in numbers. We…
Re: Refusing a Plus 1?

Reply by LD1970 · March 2016 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

There was a time when my H was "some guy I met in a bar last week." By 3 weeks after we met, he was a legit boyfriend. We were engaged less than 4 months from the day we met. We got married more or less on our 1 year meeting anniversary (anniversary would have been the next day). We'll be celebrating our 7th wedding…
Re: Refusing a Plus 1?

Reply by madamerwin · March 2016 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

I think we need a flow chart for this... 1. Have you met the SO? If YES: Move on to question 2. If NO: Don't be an asshole. You are not all-important and don't get to decide whose relationships are valid. Invite the SO. 2. Have your friend and SO been dating for more than a year? If YES: Move on to question 3. If NO: Skip…
Re: Refusing a Plus 1?

Reply by mollybarker11 · March 2016 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

1. Someone's SO is a part of their social unit regardless of whether you or any other random third party has met them. 2. It's gross and weird and rude to talk about who ISN'T invited to your wedding. Doing it face-to-face puts them in the even more awkward position of having to act like they're not bothered. Maybe your…

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