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1. Name Change Controversy

   

   Discussion by ebh2 · June 2012 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

   My fiance and I are only about a month away from our wedding. Everything has been going well, and we're both very excited, except for one persistent issue - our last names. I decided I did not want to change my last name and he is very hurt by it. He thinks it is romantic, and says it is something he looked forward to from…

2. Re: Name Change Controversy

   

   Reply by ElisabethJoanne · June 2012 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

   I'm in the minority, but I always see the name-change issue as a matter of women's equality. If you and your future husband are equals, the name change debate should be equally on him. That means he needs to at least consider the possibility of changing his name, or consider how he would feel if you and your parents were…

3. Re: Name Change Controversy

   

   Reply by jcrising · July 2012 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

   It may be a sexist tradition, but in the end, there is an issue of family identity, especially if you are going to have children. I don't think it should be assumed that the woman take the man's name, but if you are joining together then you should choose one family name (his, hers, hyphenated, or blended). I don't think…

4. Re: Name Change Controversy

   

   Reply by jenajjthr · June 2012 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

   First marriage I dropped my maiden like it was radioactive. I have a bio dad, adopted dad, and stepdad. Biodad gave up his rights to me when mom married adopted dad. Adopted dad turned out to be a pedophile. So yeah, didn't want that name anymore. Many years later I divorced hubby and kept married name, see reason above…

5. Re: Name Change Controversy

   

   Reply by TurtlesAllTheWayDown · June 2012 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

   So are you thinking about hyphenating the children's names? I would actually come to a conclusion about that now, since it seems like this is just something that's going to blow up later if you push it off. (FWIW, I compromised with my husband and we decided to give our children his last name, with my last name as a second…

6. Re: Name Change Controversy

   

   Reply by daria24 · June 2012 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

   I'm not changing my name. I'm not going by Mrs. Hislastname socially. If someone calls me Mrs. HisLastName, I correct them politely. I feel that a name change is one the things you don't have to compromise on. Your childrens' names, absolutely. But your name-it is yours, you do what you want. He can spell out his…

7. Re: Name Change Controversy

   

   Reply by molly&dale · June 2012 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

   This is such a deep issue for so many folks. It's just not a big deal to me, but it seems to mean a lot to some people. I actually got into a little argument with my pastor about it during our premarital counseling. It is not an issue for us personally but he made a comment about his wife having to change her name and said…

8. Re: Name Change Controversy

   

   Reply by DramaGeek · June 2012 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

   Your story is identical to mine, only my ILs are American-born fundamental Christians rather than immigrants. But, the attitude is still the same. I caved and did what many PPs suggested and became Drama Geek MaidenLast MarriedLast. MaidenLast MarriedLast was my last name, with a space instead of a hyphen. I didn't want to…

9. Re: Name Change Controversy

   

   Reply by Hobie625 · June 2012 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

   I kind of struggled with this decision too. I really like my unique, easy to spell, fun to say last name, and my dad died when I was young so it reminds me of his side of the family. However, since we are getting married in Quebec, as the PP mentioned, I keep my last name. I actually was a little upset over that law. It is…

10. Re: Name Change Controversy

    

    Reply by jmp2004 · June 2012 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

    I second PP with taking his same only socially. And with you being known professionally by your maiden name, I would definitely think you should hold onto it. Or, possibly, take his name but continue to work and publish under your maiden name? There is also a the idea of taking your maiden name as your middle and his as…