Argument with my bridesmaid: who gets to decide hairstyle?

Knottie1445136220

This is so good to read!

Why do you have to be rude and sarcastic? This isn't OT. It's a wedding forum. Get over yourself.

beethery

NikkiRose710 said:

This is so good to read!

Why do you have to be rude and sarcastic? This isn't OT. It's a wedding forum. Get over yourself.

Slow your roll.

I probably should have bolded where you said this;

@NikkiRose710 said: I appreciate the time spent reponding and you have made me change my mind. Thanks, again.

Because I was happy to see a poster have a rational response to a question where they will generally come up against comments that disagree with their original POV. My response was not a personal attack or a popcorn gif or whatever. I was genuinely pleased to see that you got the point of the responses, because many do not.

southernbelle0915

NikkiRose710 said:

This is so good to read!

Why do you have to be rude and sarcastic? This isn't OT. It's a wedding forum. Get over yourself.

I'm willing to bet this is not sarcastic at all. OP - you had a really cool reaction to feedback. A lot of times, someone might have flown off the handle and told everyone here they are terrible hags and destined to an unhappy marriage (for real, it happens). So for the regular posters here, when someone is like "cool, one less thing to worry about - thanks for the feedback" it is truly really really nice to read. 

Don't let your sister be too involved. "nice thought, we haven't gotten there yet" "good of you to offer, we'll think about that." "thanks for your insight" are all phrases that helped me get through unneeded suggestions from friends/family.

atlastmrsg

Just pay for her updo and move on.  I see nothing wrong with asking for updos if you're paying for it.  As a courtesy to the bride, I've always put mine up (on my own) when in weddings.  It does help the bride stand out.

RebeccaFlower

atlastmrsg said:

Just pay for her updo and move on.  I see nothing wrong with asking for updos if you're paying for it.  As a courtesy to the bride, I've always put mine up (on my own) when in weddings.  It does help the bride stand out.

This is crap. Did you not read the thread at all? I think dictating hair totally crosses into bridezilla territory.

emmaaa

atlastmrsg said:

Just pay for her updo and move on.  I see nothing wrong with asking for updos if you're paying for it.  As a courtesy to the bride, I've always put mine up (on my own) when in weddings.  It does help the bride stand out.

What if the bride has her hair up? The horror! I just want to know the reasoning that a bride wouldn't stand out otherwise? I think being last walking down the aisle, standing at the alter, and (most likely) a white dress would give it away. 

frewinclaire

I did a whole blog entry on bridesmaids - I don't know if it will help? It's a UK view on things but hopefully can translate across the pond http://bridechiller.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/bridesmaids-and-their-traditional-role.html

southernbelle0915

frewinclaire said:

I did a whole blog entry on bridesmaids - I don't know if it will help? It's a UK view on things but hopefully can translate across the pond http://bridechiller.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/bridesmaids-and-their-traditional-role.html

Nothing in that entry even remotely answers this question. It's against the TOS to promote your blog here (as you've done in most if not all your replies).

@knotporscha

Knottie1445136220

I understand that everyone has different opinions, so that's OK! I was just interested in hearing different sides because I was under the impression that the bride 'designs' the look of the wedding from the colors to the hair.  I certainly don't want to be a bridezilla which is why I posted the Question All I really care about is having fun and marrying my love, so I decided to just let the bridesmaids literally do whatever hair and DRESS they want!  It's going to be eclectic and casual. There won't be a theme or a color.  Just a big expensive family party. F it.  Not worth the drama.  As long as there's alcohol and smiles and support for the actual MARRIAGE, then nothing else matters. I sincerely appreciate this feedback as it helped me get out of the bubble/assumptions I was living in. 

southernbelle0915

NikkiRose710 said:

I understand that everyone has different opinions, so that's OK! I was just interested in hearing different sides because I was under the impression that the bride 'designs' the look of the wedding from the colors to the hair.  I certainly don't want to be a bridezilla which is why I posted the Question All I really care about is having fun and marrying my love, so I decided to just let the bridesmaids literally do whatever hair and DRESS they want!  It's going to be eclectic and casual. There won't be a theme or a color.  Just a big expensive family party. F it.  Not worth the drama.  As long as there's alcohol and smiles and support for the actual MARRIAGE, then nothing else matters. I sincerely appreciate this feedback as it helped me get out of the bubble/assumptions I was living in. 

Good call, OP! You'll have SO much more fun and be so much more focused on the wedding itself. Stick around.

novella1186

I'm sorry your sister is being so demanding. Mine is the same way! Just stop talking to her about wedding stuff, or just (politely) remind her that it's your wedding so you get to be the one making decisions, but you appreciate her input. As far as hair goes, I agree with the other PP. You could compromise and ask her to do it however she wants, as long as it's somehow pulled back from her face, or ask her to put it half up, etc. Maybe you guys can just chat about ideas and see what she likes so you're not worried about it? But I say let the bridesmaids just do their own thing. That's a few less decisions you'll have to make, so it takes a little of the burden off you. I was in a wedding and I honestly don't remember what the other bridesmaids' hair looked like, or my own hair for that matter. I just remember the bride

theexactlee

Yes that bowing bridesmaids pic was hella weird, like it was a wedding cult. Sisters are nothing but drama LOL or at least mine is  I do agree that if you want their hair done you need to pay for it. Enjoy your special day!

CMGragain

I remember a bride a few years ago who was hysterical because one of her bridesmaids shaved half her head and dyed the other half green three weeks before the wedding.  OP, count your blessings.

AddieCake

southernbelle0915 said:

frewinclaire said:

I did a whole blog entry on bridesmaids - I don't know if it will help? It's a UK view on things but hopefully can translate across the pond http://bridechiller.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/bridesmaids-and-their-traditional-role.html

Nothing in that entry even remotely answers this question. It's against the TOS to promote your blog here (as you've done in most if not all your replies).

@knotporscha

It's actually NOT against the TOS to promote personal blogs.