Always plan for 100% attendance!

climbingsingle

Yet another story about a couple that over-invited! I was talking with a co-worker yesterday. His son is getting married this weekend. The room at the venue holds 220. They invited 260. And 260 are coming. Co-worker said he has no idea what they're going to do. They're now planning to try to squeeze 12 people to a table to try to alleviate this. Madness!

lyndausvi

I guess they do not believe in fire codes or comfort of their guests ugh?

Peaseblossom55

lyndausvi said:

I guess they do not believe in fire codes or comfort of their guests ugh?

This was my thought too, doesn't the building have fire codes and is the venue aware of their guest count. oy......

climbingsingle

I'm surprised the venue is even letting them do this. 

RebeccaFlower

I think this beyond rude and tacky... but just for fun, what would would be the best plan on action? A tent and chairs outside? 

scrunchythief

l Maybe the place has another room?  I know a lot of venues in my area have a main ballroom and a secondary room that generally holds about a quarter of the people that the ballroom does.  If their venue had a room like that, and if was still available, that might be their best bet.  Awkward, yes, but less than 12 people per table and potentially violating fire codes.  

lyndausvi

Maximums vary depending on the function.    Dinner would be less people, classroom setup a little more.   Cocktail reception even more (that is because cocktail receptions often do not have a chair for every butt).          Basically depends on how much other crap like dance floors, tables, chairs,etc you have.  

So technically speaking the room might be rated for 400 persons, but they really mean in a cocktail reception type function.   It's irresponsible to put that many people in a room when you add in tables and chairs.   God forbid there is an emergency people would get hurt trying to maneuver around an overstuffed room.

climbingsingle

I hope for their sake there is actually another room available at the venue. Ay yi yi. 

theartistformerlyknownas

Eek! Our venue holds 300 via 30 10-top tables, and I'm SO happy to be able to keep it at 25-26 tables of 8 or 9 people. 12 to a table is so squishy. Ew.

abbyj700

Eeeek! 

Why do people DO this?????? LIke seriously - it NEVER went through my head. I can't even imagine the stress this couple is feeling. We don't expect 100% - but we have the money and the space for it - as everyone should!

Seriously...I'm stressing for this couple...because...EEEEEeeeekkk!

JellyBean52513

People do it because A) they expect certain guests to decline; they expect a general percentage of guests to decline; C) they want gifts, or D) all of the above. 

The problem isn't inviting a ton of people, it's inviting more than the max capacity of the venue with the expectation that you will actually get declines. If you want to invite 1,000 to your wedding because you genuinely care about and love that many people, go for it! Just make sure you have a proper venue to comfortably (and legally) hold all of those people!

jules3964

I would have bet $5000 my distant aunt and uncle from across the country would not be attending our wedding. But luckily we did not over-invite, because we've already gotten their RSVP back and they are making the trip. People will definitely surprise you!

WinstonsGirl

abbyj700 said:

Eeeek! 

Why do people DO this?????? LIke seriously - it NEVER went through my head. I can't even imagine the stress this couple is feeling. We don't expect 100% - but we have the money and the space for it - as everyone should!

Seriously...I'm stressing for this couple...because...EEEEEeeeekkk!

We did this, but more by accident/Mom.  We had the venue and guest list set out perfectly (80 people, venue said 75-80 people max).  My Mom then popped up with a high list of her friends that she begged me to invite cos Mom and Dad had all been invited to there kids weddings.  She swore they wouldn't go, though 1 couple did.  I finally caved, mainly cos we did a DW, and I knew some of my friends couldn't make it, and cos DH's extended family lives in Chile, and I knew none of them were going to make the trip for sure.  

I should have told Mom no, but it made her happy, and none of her friends did make it (except for 1 couple), so we only ended up with 40 people there.  Perfect size for me actually.  

photokitty

There goes the choreographed and dollar dance - the dance floor if going to be full of tables!

novella1186

I think I would rather be left off the guest list than be invited, show up, and find that there isn't enough space for me. Not inviting some people may make you feel a little guilty for leaving those few out, but inviting too many people means you're treating your entire guest list kind of crappy. Yikes.

princessleia22

novella1186 said:

I think I would rather be left off the guest list than be invited, show up, and find that there isn't enough space for me. Not inviting some people may make you feel a little guilty for leaving those few out, but inviting too many people means you're treating your entire guest list kind of crappy. Yikes.

Exactly. That would be miserable to be packed in like that. My sister is getting married next week and started complaining that after RSVP's came back, she now has 1.5 empty tables at the reception! And she had really struggled to cut down her guest list to capacity and had to leave out some people she wanted to invite. She wanted to know if it would be tacky to message some of her friends that she was unable to invite and ask if they want to come (less than 2 weeks before wedding). Of course, I told her that, yeah, it is definitely tacky and don't do it. She already knew it, but felt bad that she couldn't invite some of them and felt like it was wasted space now. I told her to take advantage of the fact that the room will be less crowded now, more room for the dance floor, and 15 less people that she needs to pay for (assuming she can still recoup costs for catering, etc). She should be thrilled that the place isn't going to packed to 100% capacity, or even worse, to be over capacity.

alpacalunch

RebeccaFlower said:

I think this beyond rude and tacky... but just for fun, what would would be the best plan on action? A tent and chairs outside? 

I watched some wedding-related reality show (Four Weddings, maybe?) where they had tables set up on the PORCH of the venue. Though, IIRC, it was more an issue of people just showing up without actual invitations than over-inviting.

Jen4948

Hopefully there won't be a fire or anyone from the buildings department around to file a complaint.

twitterbird

Around here it seems to be common practice to invite more than capacity which is so stupid. My venue holds 160 and I'm inviting 110 (plus myself, fiancé, 2 photographers and DJ for meals). I've budgeted for 110 but I know several people on my list who aren't coming.

huskypuppy14

My venue held 300 and we invited 150. I would never want to be stressing about space.

kmmssg

When our girls were planning their weddings we never ever invited even close to the capacity of the room.  It was important to us that there was enough room for everyone to be comfortable and plenty of room for dancing.  I just don't get why people do these things.

twitterbird

I've seen people use the excuse that they don't want the room to look empty when people they don't expect decline the invite. Crappy excuse.

badbnagdway

Being only at the beginning of the journey here I certainly do understand why you should never invite over capacity. But wow, they invited 260 people and they're all coming! I know it happens but sheesh!

sarahufl

I over-invited. Like crazy. I fought my MIL and my mother tooth and nail against it, but they made us do it, CONSTANTLY quoting the "20% rule"

We had the space if everyone came, but it wouldn't have been how I wanted it to be arranged- we would have had to do outdoor seating, which in July in north Florida is a big no-no.

We got the declines we needed and everyone survived and all was well. But the entire time, I kept fighting it. I cannot fathom having a 100% acceptance rate with that many people. Seriously, that is nuts-o.

annathy03

JellyBean52513 said:

People do it because A) they expect certain guests to decline; they expect a general percentage of guests to decline; C) they want gifts, or D) all of the above. 

The problem isn't inviting a ton of people, it's inviting more than the max capacity of the venue with the expectation that you will actually get declines. If you want to invite 1,000 to your wedding because you genuinely care about and love that many people, go for it! Just make sure you have a proper venue to comfortably (and legally) hold all of those people!

Agreed!  We invited 216, and only had 103 attend (lots of OOT family and "phantom" guests since we gave all singles a plus one), but IF all 216 had come we would have been OK with capacity (250) and stretched-but-doable on budget.  My biggest concern if we'd had 100% attendance was how I'd manage to talk with everyone, as it was I didn't finish mingling at tables and start dancing and getting in the photobooth until we had about half an hour left.  We have a handful of friends that we would have invited if we'd known how many declines we'd get, but resisted the temptation to B list anyone.

ETA: And for lurkers who worry about a large decline rate like mine, our space didn't look "empty" at all.  We sat 8 at a table so guests would have plenty of elbow room (some tables only had 6 or 7 depending on how social groups fell, but still 8 chairs), and they were spaced far enough apart that people could get out of their chairs without worrying about hitting the people behind them, but not so drastically that it looked odd.

huskypuppy14

People should never invite the max capacity of the venue. When I was looking at venues, I was asking, how many does this room hold, and they'd say 200. I was thinking 200 squished in there like sardines. You don't want that. 

My sister had 135 people at her wedding in a room that supposedly held 200. It was completely full. I assume with 200 people you couldn't have a DJ or dance floor. 

I had 110 people in a room that held 300, and it didn't look empty at all. There was a lot of room in the back for people to spread out, and the stations were back there as well. You really have to look at the layout of the room, and see what would fit, and not look at "oh this venue holds 200 people, so I can invite 200 (or more!) people. 

sarahufl

huskypuppy14 said:

People should never invite the max capacity of the venue. When I was looking at venues, I was asking, how many does this room hold, and they'd say 200. I was thinking 200 squished in there like sardines. You don't want that. 

My sister had 135 people at her wedding in a room that supposedly held 200. It was completely full. I assume with 200 people you couldn't have a DJ or dance floor. 

I had 110 people in a room that held 300, and it didn't look empty at all. There was a lot of room in the back for people to spread out, and the stations were back there as well. You really have to look at the layout of the room, and see what would fit, and not look at "oh this venue holds 200 people, so I can invite 200 (or more!) people. 

Yeah, our fire code stated 220 inside. There is tons of outdoor, usable space at our venue but we didn't want to have to rely on it. We ended up with 170 in attendance. While there could have been more people in there, it by no means looked empty.

I am really happy we didn't have all 220 or else the place would have burst.

APDSS22

twitterbird said:

I've seen people use the excuse that they don't want the room to look empty when people they don't expect decline the invite. Crappy excuse.

Just fill the extra room with cake and balloons.  Everyone loves cake and/or balloons.

lyndausvi

cakes, yes.  balloons, not so much.

Simply Fated

I can not imagine hoping people decline. Ideally you would want everyone to come, no? I feel like it would ruin the excitement of receiving RSVPs.

 Why would anyone purposely put themselves in the position to hope people don't come? It's all topsy turvy.
Besides, with my luck, the obligatory invites would RSVP yes and the people I really wanted there would decline. So it would be doubley sad for me.

JennyColada

I think if I knew that the wedding I'd (theoretically) attend would be like this I'd decline because it would seem utterly not-fun to attend.