Massive Ring Faux Pas!!!

StitelME

My FI and I had our wedding bands custom made by the same guy (a friend of FI's) who made my engagement ring. They came in the mail a week or two ago. My MoH was over last weekend and asked to see them because she loved my engagement ring. Thinking nothing of it, I went and got the box and handed it to her so she could look. She then takes the ring out... AND PUTS IT ON... Ummm, excuse me? Not okay.

I don't know if I'm just overreacting but I was PISSED that she had the nerve to try on MY WEDDING BAND. I'm a little surprised she didn't ask to try it with my engagement ring!

I'm sorry if I'm being crazy but I am still soo angry because she then texted to tell me how she wasn't sure how she felt about how it looked. GRRRR. I designed the ring MYSELF. *grumble grumble*

MissChloe225

Meh.  Should she have asked first? Probably.  Would I call it a MASSIVE faux pas? Probably not.  You did hand it to her.

StitelME

I mean, I handed it to her in its box. I think it just annoys me so much because it was my wedding band. I just don't understand who would even ASK to try someone else's wedding band on?

MissChloe225

Maybe my best friend and I are weirdly close, but I would definitely try theirs on and they would definitely try mine on (if the opportunity presented itself).  I'm not hugely sentimental about stuff, though.  I do think she was rude to tell you she didn't like it, though.  Who cares? It's yours, not hers.

JasperandOpal

I would have asked first but I have had a few people try on my engagement ring without asking and it doesn't bother me as long as I get it back.  But she should not have commented on how it looked, unless she was saying it didn't look right on her because it looked so much better on you. 

StitelME

You guys are right. I'm probably over-reacting. It just felt really personal because it was my wedding band and it was something I designed personally. She and I are close but I'd never have done it to her. *shrug*

jacques27

It's jewelry.  Just because you decide to make that particular piece of jewelry a symbolic token of your marriage, doesn't change the fact that it's a piece of jewelry.  That piece of jewelry is not your marriage.  Someone trying on that piece of jewelry doesn't mean the jewelry is any more or less sacred than it was before you bought it.  Nor does it mean that your marriage now is doomed because she tried on your jewelry.  Stop giving so much power to an inanimate object.  You would be exactly the same amount of married if you didn't have a ring at all as you will be with a ring.

beethery

She could've asked first? Also, what if it got stuck?

I wouldn't shit a brick over it but she wasn't right to do that.

mysticl

I've sat around with a group of women (one's I'm not even that close to) and everyone was trying on each other's rings.  

ShesSoCold

I.....don't see what's so "massive" about this.

CMGragain

I used to work in the jewelry business.  I don't understand this post at all.  Most of the rings we sold were tried on by many customers before they were selected.  I get it that you had it custom designed, but it doesn't have a hymen, for heaven's sake!

LondonLisa

Yeah, I'm going to have to agree with PP. I really don't see what the big deal is. Maybe she should have asked, but I really think you need a big dose of perspective here. Is your husband now destined to marry your friend because she had the audacity to put on jewellery for 2 minutes that belongs to you? Is your wedding now cursed because someone else wore your wedding bands? You do realise that most jewellers will put the ring on one of their fingers to test the feel.

StitelME

You ladies are right - I'm definitely overreacting. It hit hard because it felt like an invasion of personal space and is definitely something that my other friends wouldn't have even thought about. This MoH has also been a pretty consistent MOHzilla throughout the process so that probably also colored my reaction. *deep breaths*

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

I think it's a natural reaction when handed a ring: "Imma wear dis!"  So yeah, you're fine.  In a week you get to wear it forever!  

peachy13

I am always putting my engagement ring on my sisters and trying on girlfriends' rings, I think it's sweet and fun. Your friend putting on your wedding band that hasn't even been worn yet is weird, especially since YOU want to be the first one to wear it, but I would just pretend like it didn't happen and move on.

StitelME

That's what I've decided I'm going to do. My bachelorette party is actually this weekend ( I leave in 25 minutes! WOO!) with her and my BMs and i'm not gonna say anything about it. You guys are right. Whether or not it was weird, it wasn't as big of a deal as it felt at the time.

Time to buckle up and move forward!

VulgarGirl

CMGragain said:

I used to work in the jewelry business.  I don't understand this post at all.  Most of the rings we sold were tried on by many customers before they were selected.  I get it that you had it custom designed, but it doesn't have a hymen, for heaven's sake!

@CMGragain this made me laugh so hard I had to put my head down on my desk for a minute to get it together.

Marzipan13

OP, I'd be a bit pissed too, tbh.  But - in the end - no real harm done.  

danamw

The only thing is she didn't ask first. She probably should have, but whatever.

Your ring had never been on anyone elses hand, but for those who buy their rings in a store, who knows who has tried them on?

Forget about it.

larrygaga

Doing that without asking is gross. However I let pretty much all my sisters mother and close friends try mine on. Lol

lyndausvi

larrygaga said:

Doing that without asking is gross. However I let pretty much all my sisters mother and close friends try mine on. Lol

Gross?  Really?  What is gross about that?  Weird, maybe, but not gross.

I designed my e-ring.  Others tried it on, not sure if they asked or not.  It's a ring, NBD to me.   

I tried on my sister's ring without asking.  It barely fits my pinky.  I tried it on because it's so damn small I wanted to see how small compared to my own.  Hehe.     My sister tried on mine for a similar reason.  Mine fits on her thumb.

emmaaa

lyndausvi said:

larrygaga said:

Doing that without asking is gross. However I let pretty much all my sisters mother and close friends try mine on. Lol

Gross?  Really?  What is gross about that?  Weird, maybe, but not gross.

I designed my e-ring.  Others tried it on, not sure if they asked or not.  It's a ring, NBD to me.   

I tried on my sister's ring without asking.  It barely fits my pinky.  I tried it on because it's so damn small I wanted to see how small compared to my own.  Hehe.     My sister tried on mine for a similar reason.  Mine fits on her thumb.

My ring was custom made and apparently some of the ladies in the jewelry store loved it so much, they wanted to try in on before FI took it home. They made him promise to bring it back and let them see it on me and with a wedding band. I thought it was funny and flattering.

Alos, all of my friends have tried on my engagement ring. But they asked...

novella1186

One of my best friends (who is a BM) visited this weekend and hadn't seen my engagement ring yet. She reached over and pulled it off my finger without asking and then tried it on, and made fun of how tiny my hands are. We laughed and then she gave the ring back. I really thought nothing of it. It's a ring, and it's pretty. Of course people want to check it out, try it on, etc. I don't understand why that's a "massive" issue or something to get upset about. No worries, she didn't mean anything by it, I'm sure!

Bubblegum5586

Your ring is just a symbol, it doesn't mean she's married to your FI now?!?!

Although I agree that her comments on her opinion on your ring is uncalled for.

MollyandD

I showed my best friend my ring, and immediately asked to try it on. She asked, since I was wearing it, but if I hadn't been and she had just picked it up, I wouldn't have been upset at all. I might not like it if someone I didn't know well asked me to try it on, but my best friend and maid of honor doesn't bother me at all.

huskypuppy14

I used to try on my friends' and sister's engagement rings, prior to being married. Now if it was a stranger, that's weird, but not a friend. Sure she should have asked, but it's no big deal IMO.

beethery

None of my friends, or anybody, has asked to try on my ring. When any of my friends got engaged, I didn't want to try on their rings. My mom didn't try on my ring, and I've never tried on any of hers.

I'm not on the train of thought of, "MY ENGAGEMENT VALUE HAS BEEN REMOVED BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE WORE MY RING OMG!!!!!" lol

My immediate thought is to not put on someone's ring because what if it gets stuck? I have fat fingers, I ain't fucking with that. What if my ring got stuck on someone else? I don't want to have to cut the sucker off and get it fixed, that would suck.

If someone that wasn't like... a kid asked me to try it on, I'd probably ask, "Why?" before I could stop myself. I don't really understand wanting to try on someone else's ring, but I'm in the minority here.

ashley8918

beethery said:

None of my friends, or anybody, has asked to try on my ring. When any of my friends got engaged, I didn't want to try on their rings. My mom didn't try on my ring, and I've never tried on any of hers.

I'm not on the train of thought of, "MY ENGAGEMENT VALUE HAS BEEN REMOVED BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE WORE MY RING OMG!!!!!" lol

My immediate thought is to not put on someone's ring because what if it gets stuck? I have fat fingers, I ain't fucking with that. What if my ring got stuck on someone else? I don't want to have to cut the sucker off and get it fixed, that would suck.

If someone that wasn't like... a kid asked me to try it on, I'd probably ask, "Why?" before I could stop myself. I don't really understand wanting to try on someone else's ring, but I'm in the minority here.

I'm with you here. I don't really understand why you would want to? But at the same time, I also don't think it's a big deal (or a massive faux pas).

Marzipan13

beethery said:

None of my friends, or anybody, has asked to try on my ring. When any of my friends got engaged, I didn't want to try on their rings. My mom didn't try on my ring, and I've never tried on any of hers.

I'm not on the train of thought of, "MY ENGAGEMENT VALUE HAS BEEN REMOVED BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE WORE MY RING OMG!!!!!" lol

My immediate thought is to not put on someone's ring because what if it gets stuck? I have fat fingers, I ain't fucking with that. What if my ring got stuck on someone else? I don't want to have to cut the sucker off and get it fixed, that would suck.

If someone that wasn't like... a kid asked me to try it on, I'd probably ask, "Why?" before I could stop myself. I don't really understand wanting to try on someone else's ring, but I'm in the minority here.

100% agreed.  FI was even afraid to try on the ring sizer, lest it get stuck (and his fingers are definitely not fat).  Rings getting stuck on the "wrong" fingers would be my first red flag in this situation too.

lc07

I'm one of those weirdos that believes that stones and metals etc hold peoples energies. You can always just sage the ring. No big deal. I'd be more upset about her rude comments.

LabLove86

I don't have an e-ring (yet!) But I have a ring that is made with my mother's (she's deceased) diamond. I had it re-set (my sister got the setting). When I first got it, most of my fiends that looked at it - just tried it on. I never ever thought once about it.

I think myself, as well as my group of fiends are in the group of "Imma wear dis!" group that @goldchocobo was talking about.