Thursday Night Wedding ???

mimivac

I would probably attend even if I had to take Wed-Fri off. However, my situation is probably unique: I have lots of vacation time, and I adore weddings. This will not be the case for many of your guests. My BF would definitely have to decline since taking 3 days off work (assuming we would have to travel), is not an option for him, and it would be a bummer to have to attend without him. Also, I would worry that a Thursday wedding would not be as festive since many guests would have to either decline or leave early. I would sacrifice many other details for a convienient time. Good luck.

peachy13

You can have your wedding any night of the week, but if you go with Thursday, you're asking a lot from your guests, in my opinion. You're pretty much asking your guests to likely a) leave work early on Thursday, and b) request the following Friday off from work. Also if any of your guests are parents with small children, it might be hard for them to find sitters for a Thursday night, especially if your venue is far away and people need to stay overnight. 

I know it's probably not a big deal to some people but let's face it: a Thursday night wedding would be a pain for many of your guests. If I was invited I'd probably go, but the whole time I would be pissed that I am using my vacation time so that you can save a little money for your Thursday night wedding.

mrsmagicgeek

I wouldn't attend a Thursday wedding unless it was my BFF or my sister.

southernbelle0915

If the people bank rolling this shin dig don't want to have it on Thursday, then it shouldn't happen on Thursday. That's really the bottom line.

And to add to it, as everyone else said, you'll get a ton of declines if you do this on a Thursday. I wouldn't attend unless I was local or it was my sister. Even if I was local, I'd only attend the ceremony if it started after 5pm and I'd leave the reception after dinner. Not in a mean way at all - just because I'd have to work the next day.

grumbledore

Alesiakn0wzbest said:

Hello Knotties!!!! I am considering a Thursday night wedding, my parents and fiancès parents hate that idea, However they are all pitching in for wedding expenses. I've already found a venue I love! If we choose thursday we can save 50pp!!! They think having a wedding on a thursday is asinine! But they also don't want to spend much money which I understand! So why are they so upset at a Thursday wedding ? I need all of your opinions especially people who have attended a thursday wedding or had their weddings on a thursday. I also want you guys to keep in my wedding is two years away!!!!!!!! I think thats more than enough time to accommodate most people. The wedding will be in CT which about 60-65% of the people live in CT and a 15% of people will be coming from NY which is about an hour away and 15% from North Carolina which is far. My North Carolina Family will have to take at least one day off anyways If the wedding is on a saturday they would leave from NC friday and probably go back home on a sunday. Opinions Please!!! 

My opinion is that in your situation, you should not have a Thursday wedding.  You have a lot of guests traveling and your parents and FILs (who sound like they are paying a chunk of this wedding) are not on board.

And while there is nothing technically wrong with having your wedding on a Thursday, as a guest I would be annoyed and would only attend if we were close enough for me to blow 1-2 vacation days on your wedding.

You have 2 years - just save up the money and do it when your VIPs/those paying for a portion of your wedding are comfortable doing it.

Fairyjen1

    I would go to a Thursday night wedding. I'd probably like it better because then my weekend would be free. I have a very flexible schedule, though. There's nothing wrong with Thursday, but I'd expect lots of declines. 

   Of course, my wedding is on a Monday, but I'm immediate family only destination and it's an all inclusive package at the Disneyland Resort. We cleared it with everyone first. I probably wouldn't have chosen Monday for a larger wedding. 

weddingcactus

I would go to a local Thursday night wedding and probably would not be bothered by it. However, I would probably not drive an hour for a Thursday night wedding and unless I REALLY adored the couple being married, I would certainly not take days off work to travel some distance. 50pp could really add up depending on the size of your guest list, so I can understand why. 

delujm0

I would only attend a Thursday night wedding if it was local, and i would probably leave early so that i wouldn't be exhausted at work the next day.  I get mildly annoyed by Friday night weddings that I have to travel to, but if the person is important enough, i will take a day off of work to attend.

 

You can give all of the notice that you want - and two years is a long time - but that's not going to make me want to use multiple days of PTO to attend your wedding.  You would have to be extremely imporant to me for me to travel to your Thursday night wedding, requiring at least 2 days, if not 3 days of time off of work.  And by "extremely important" i mean "my mother or sister, and that is it."

 

It will be cheaper both due to the lower venue cost and the amount of declines - however if the parents who are paying don't like this idea, i'd suggest trying to accomodate them.  Honestly, if you invite 200 people to a Thursday night wedding, I'd be shocked if 100 showed up.  If you really want your nearest and dearest to attend without being horribly inconvenienced, you should move the wedding to another night - even Friday night or Sunday afternoon/evening would be a large improvement over Thursday night.

thesummersky

Alesiakn0wzbest said:

Hello Knotties!!!! I am considering a Thursday night wedding, my parents and fiancès parents hate that idea, However they are all pitching in for wedding expenses. I've already found a venue I love! If we choose thursday we can save 50pp!!! They think having a wedding on a thursday is asinine! But they also don't want to spend much money which I understand! So why are they so upset at a Thursday wedding ? I need all of your opinions especially people who have attended a thursday wedding or had their weddings on a thursday. I also want you guys to keep in my wedding is two years away!!!!!!!! I think thats more than enough time to accommodate most people. The wedding will be in CT which about 60-65% of the people live in CT and a 15% of people will be coming from NY which is about an hour away and 15% from North Carolina which is far. My North Carolina Family will have to take at least one day off anyways If the wedding is on a saturday they would leave from NC friday and probably go back home on a sunday. Opinions Please!!! 

Gah, *STUCK IN BOX*

OP, in your situation, I would either keep the same venue and pick a different day (and cut down the guest list, if necessary) or choose a different venue entirely that is more accommodating to your parents and future in-laws. Yes, they are paying and should have some input - but on top of that, this day should be a celebration of love for you guys and your loved ones! It would be so sad to have your dream venue, but then to have those closest unable to fully enjoy the celebration your wedding with you, or to be unable to attend at all. While there will always be a chance that some won't attend, there will typically be more declines on a Thursday wedding than at a Saturday wedding.

My husband and I met at a summer camp, and we wanted sooo badly to get married at the camp where we met. We had the whole vision planned out, and it would have been relatively inexpensive! But the more we thought about it, the more we realized how inconvenient it would be for some of our guests. We have older family members with limited mobility that would have been unable to attend our wedding had we decided to have it at the camp, so we ended up going with a different venue. But you know what? We were still in the same general area of where we met, it was still beautiful, and it was more convenient and fun for everyone. It wasn't what we'd originally envisioned but I was filled with joy the entire time, especially from seeing my family so happy. It was honestly better than I could have planned.

Best of luck to you in your planning!

LondonLisa

One of my friends had to go to a Tuesday wedding. He is very mellow and nothing really bothers him. It takes a lot for him to complain. When I asked him how the wedding was he said "it was nice, but honestly, I wish instead of having the full wedding 3 course meal on a Tuesday, he had just rented out a pub on a Saturday afternoon, we all would have had more fun". 

I think that perfectly sums it up weekday weddings. After all, what it says to me is "I am holding on to my perfect wedding 'vision' even though I can't afford it so I will do it at the expense of my guest's convenience". While it isn't inherently rude or against etiquette, Saturday afternoon cake and punch> Thursday fully hosted 'dream' wedding, every time.

canadianhearts

Personally, I think that a Thursday wedding is an inconvenience for many guests - most people work Thursdays and Fridays so you might not be able to have a lot of attendees that you want to share the special day with. While I truly believe in the "it's your wedding - do whatever makes you happy" philosophy, this is one of those times where I do think you should be accommodating to your guests.

Does the venue offer similar discounts for a Friday or a Sunday wedding? At least on Sundays most people are already off* and on Fridays many don't have to work the next day so it's a little more inclusive than a Thursday wedding. Overall, I know that you love the venue, but this might come down to venue vs. guests. Great venue, but missing loved ones.

*I've been to a Sunday wedding and it wrapped early/many guests elected not to drink due to people having to work on Monday morning.

*Edited for typo*

badbnagdway

chocolada7 said:

Personally, I think that a Thursday wedding is an inconvenience for many guests - most people work Thursdays and Fridays so you might not be able to have a lot of attendees that you want to share the special day with. While I truly believe in the "it's your wedding - do whatever makes you happy" philosophy, this is one of those times where I do think you should be accommodating to your guests.

Does the venue offer similar discounts for a Friday or a Sunday wedding? At least on Sundays most people are already off* and on Fridays many don't have to work the next day so it's a little more inclusive than a Thursday wedding. Overall, I know that you love the venue, but this might come down to venue vs. guests. Great venue, but missing loved ones.

*I've been to a Sunday wedding and it wrapped early/many guests elected not to drink due to people having to work on Monday morning.

*Edited for typo*

I have also been to a Sunday wedding. It was about a two hour drive from where I live and I had been there since Friday because I was in the WP. FI and I were annoyed because when the wedding ended at around 8:30 pm we then had to drive back home. It seemed silly to take the Monday off but it also kind of made the wedding lamer. I would rather attend a Friday wedding than a Sunday wedding. 

Like pretty much everyone has said, a Thursday wedding isn't per se rude, but many folks will not want to come. I would look into the Friday option, which also is often cheaper, or, scale down your Saturday wedding a bit. Maybe consider a Saturday brunch/lunch reception. 

debbeau

I would skip a Thursday wedding unless it was someone very close to me. Between trying to find a sitter and worrying about work the next day it would not be enjoyable.