Still haven't found the dress...getting confused!

kimmiinthemitten

You have a very classic, angular face- that's why I think the lace dresses aren't my favorite.  What would Katherine Hepburn do LOL?

I vote for you to take a break from dress shopping for a week.  After the week is over, take inventory of your favorite pieces in your closet; why are they your favorite, what do you like about them, how do they make you feel.  Once you got that down, go back and retry your favorites.  Think about how they make you feel.  If you want that bridal feeling, add a veil, bouquet, whatever works for you.

Knottie1432668587

kimmiinthemitten said:

You have a very classic, angular face- that's why I think the lace dresses aren't my favorite.  What would Katherine Hepburn do LOL?

I vote for you to take a break from dress shopping for a week.  After the week is over, take inventory of your favorite pieces in your closet; why are they your favorite, what do you like about them, how do they make you feel.  Once you got that down, go back and retry your favorites.  Think about how they make you feel.  If you want that bridal feeling, add a veil, bouquet, whatever works for you.

kimmiinthemitten said:

You have a very classic, angular face- that's why I think the lace dresses aren't my favorite.  What would Katherine Hepburn do LOL?

I vote for you to take a break from dress shopping for a week.  After the week is over, take inventory of your favorite pieces in your closet; why are they your favorite, what do you like about them, how do they make you feel.  Once you got that down, go back and retry your favorites.  Think about how they make you feel.  If you want that bridal feeling, add a veil, bouquet, whatever works for you.

Thanks!!! Maybe that's the problem; that I don't like so much intricate lace, which is a very Spanish style by the way and considered very bridal. That's why the Spanish people I show the Jenny dress think it isn't a wedding gown.
I think I'll have to try and accessorise with a veil and all that and I like the advice of thinking what I like from my own wardrobe!

Knottie1432668587

kimmiinthemitten said:

You have a very classic, angular face- that's why I think the lace dresses aren't my favorite.  What would Katherine Hepburn do LOL?

I vote for you to take a break from dress shopping for a week.  After the week is over, take inventory of your favorite pieces in your closet; why are they your favorite, what do you like about them, how do they make you feel.  Once you got that down, go back and retry your favorites.  Think about how they make you feel.  If you want that bridal feeling, add a veil, bouquet, whatever works for you.

By the way, you really flatter me with the Katherine Hepburn comment! Thaaaaank you! xoxo

MesmrEwe

Pull out a piece of paper - blank and white...  Pull out a pencil...  Now - Put the pencil to the paper, close your eyes, and in your mind's eye draw the bride of your dreams...  How do her shoulders feel, how does the dress sinch at the waist..  are her shoulders bare or are they covered?  What type of shoes does she wear..  How does the dress lay on her hips.  Is she wearing a tiara or fascinator, or nothing on her hair, does she have a veil - if yes, is it long/short?  What type of flowers is she carrying...  When she turns around, does she have a train or is her dress floor length?  Is the dress cut low or high in the back?  Now, imagine your face as you look in the mirror at the ideal image of the bride of your dreams and how you're looking at yourself as a bride... See, hear, and feel everything around you...  Now - look at the image you drew, does that help answer some of those questions and narrow things down?

One thing I notice in your images that you've posted, there are a few that you look at yourself in a different way based on your nonverbal features and your eyes.  You've got a model body and look great in everything you've tried on, which can sometimes make the choice difficult.  Hearing negative comments from others or just that little critic voice inside your head doesn't help make the decision easier for you which is a deeply personal one.  What if you could send those indecisive messages away for a moment think about the beautiful and poised bride inside you and know that the decision is yours and you're going to be beautiful in whichever dress you choose whether that's a pink and purple polka-dot cotton knee length dress or a formal ball gown to your fiancé.  Give yourself the permission to be the bride you want to see in the mirror, not what anyone else thinks or says. 

I'd go shopping one more time, but this time, I'd go alone.  Take the image you drew in as your only guide point for the session. 

Knottie1432668587

MesmrEwe said:

Pull out a piece of paper - blank and white...  Pull out a pencil...  Now - Put the pencil to the paper, close your eyes, and in your mind's eye draw the bride of your dreams...  How do her shoulders feel, how does the dress sinch at the waist..  are her shoulders bare or are they covered?  What type of shoes does she wear..  How does the dress lay on her hips.  Is she wearing a tiara or fascinator, or nothing on her hair, does she have a veil - if yes, is it long/short?  What type of flowers is she carrying...  When she turns around, does she have a train or is her dress floor length?  Is the dress cut low or high in the back?  Now, imagine your face as you look in the mirror at the ideal image of the bride of your dreams and how you're looking at yourself as a bride... See, hear, and feel everything around you...  Now - look at the image you drew, does that help answer some of those questions and narrow things down?

One thing I notice in your images that you've posted, there are a few that you look at yourself in a different way based on your nonverbal features and your eyes.  You've got a model body and look great in everything you've tried on, which can sometimes make the choice difficult.  Hearing negative comments from others or just that little critic voice inside your head doesn't help make the decision easier for you which is a deeply personal one.  What if you could send those indecisive messages away for a moment think about the beautiful and poised bride inside you and know that the decision is yours and you're going to be beautiful in whichever dress you choose whether that's a pink and purple polka-dot cotton knee length dress or a formal ball gown to your fiancé.  Give yourself the permission to be the bride you want to see in the mirror, not what anyone else thinks or says. 

I'd go shopping one more time, but this time, I'd go alone.  Take the image you drew in as your only guide point for the session. 

Thank you! That's some great advice! The reason why I didn't pick the Jenny Packham on the spot was because it didn't follow any of my mental ideas of "the dress". But the strange thing is that I have tried on dresses that fit that idea but don't excite me...

I think going on my own might be a good idea, let's see if I have some time to go somewhere as I've been to all the stores nearby. 

You say you can see in my eyes and expression a difference, which do you think are the ones I seem happier in? Your comment has made me curious!!
Thanks!

MesmrEwe

Knottie1432668587 said:

You say you can see in my eyes and expression a difference, which do you think are the ones I seem happier in? Your comment has made me curious!!
Thanks!

The eyes and the shoes never lie..  When you look at the images - which do you notice yourself being happier in?  Your expressions are greatly different in some of the images compared to more of the "why am I in this thing" dresses that show you still look great in everything you put on. 

The reason I'm not delving into my take on your body language in all the individual pictures is because you've got enough challenges with other people's positions on what you "should" choose, and this is something that's unique and personal to you and I don't want to be the one to say "you look the most radiant in this particular dress" because this time it's a wonderful decision to be all about you! 

Given what you've just mentioned go try the Packham dress on again given what you've said, but this time before you go - grab a $5 bunch of flowers, tie a ribbon around them, cut the base off so it's more like a bouquet...  Add the headpiece/tiara/veil, and shoes to the ensemble..  Then just look in the mirror and take a picture if you must for later...  either it'll be "it" or it'll be "time to move on"...  Who knows, you could even be a "two dress bride" with a ceremony and reception dress if that helps make things easier for you...

MandyMost

Personally, I'm a big believer in the "feel" of the dress going with the overall "feel" of the wedding. What's the rest of your wedding like? How formal? Time of day? Indoors or outdoors? Rustic or modern, etc.?

The Jenny Packham dress would be amazing at a formal Saturday night wedding, but would not be something I'd choose for a Sunday afternoon wedding in a barn. Whereas something lace or bohemian may be better suited for a Sunday afternoon.

Knottie1432668587

MandyMost said:

Personally, I'm a big believer in the "feel" of the dress going with the overall "feel" of the wedding. What's the rest of your wedding like? How formal? Time of day? Indoors or outdoors? Rustic or modern, etc.?

The Jenny Packham dress would be amazing at a formal Saturday night wedding, but would not be something I'd choose for a Sunday afternoon wedding in a barn. Whereas something lace or bohemian may be better suited for a Sunday afternoon.

I get what you mean entirely and people usually ask me what type of wedding I want. We're getting married on Saturday at around 1 pm at a beautiful place which has an old stone house where the cocktail will be and then a large open green with a lake. Food will be in a marquee with glass walls.
I'll be getting to the venue on a horse-drawn carriage and my fiancé in our soft top black classic car.

I love the photos of boho and rustic brides but I'm not really that way in real life, I'm stylish and like to dress and be unique.
At first I wanted a Jane Austen-feel to the wedding but hated that type of dresses so now I was just looking for the dress and then adjusting the rest haha!

Knottie1432668587

Well, after taking a break for almost two weeks I tried on some more dresses yesterday. These are the two best:

This one was the shop assistant's favourite, although I'm not that convinced specially in photos and it doesn't seem that exciting to me:




And this second one I liked that it was different, it was sparkly all over although you can't tell. I compared all the time to the Jenny Packham although the woman says it doesn't suit me and I think the skirt is quite full and doesn't do much for my shape.

Knottie1431649503

Many of the dresses you are trying on (or at least the photos you have posted) are really similar, bright white, lacy, tulle. Maybe that's the problem. Try going for something super different. 

Knottie1432668587

Thanks for the tip! Perhaps you're right! There's a lot of lace and tulle because that's what's most worn in Spain. It's hard to find anything else.
They aren't bright white actually, on the contrary as I'm very pale so white doesn't suit me. Almost all the gowns are creamy or slightly beige but I'm so pale I make them look white lol!
Next Saturday I'm going back to try some Jenny Packhams as I was most excited about them and even though they didn't scream bridal I want to try and accessorise them to see if I feel more like a bride!

Knottie1431649503 said:

Many of the dresses you are trying on (or at least the photos you have posted) are really similar, bright white, lacy, tulle. Maybe that's the problem. Try going for something super different. 

Knottie1431649503

Also ask if you can try them on with accessories and a veil that might give you a more bridal feeling. 

SP29

First, you look stunning in all these dresses. You could pick any of them and your guests will ohhh and ahhh over you .

My favourites are the very first 3 you posted. But that's me . I also LOVE lace, so I'm not much help to you there either .

When I thought about my dress, I thought about what I generally like... I don't like big puffy dresses (ball gown out), and I knew I would look best likely in an A-line or fit and flare style. I love lace in general, but I knew lace would likely be out of my budget. I am big on the cut and fit of an outfit, more than the intricate details, and I generally dress more "simple" (again going for cut, or colour, over lots of details). 

So I started looking online, very open minded, not looking for "the one", just seeing what my eye instantly gravitated to. Then, when I found styles I liked, went to the bridal store and started trying things on. Even though I was particular in my previous paragraph, I did try many styles on, just to be sure. It is interesting what looks good on a model in a photo, but maybe not yourself! I narrowed it down to 3, then to 2, then finally chose 1. I am also very indecisive, but I told my shopping crew "I only want you to tell me if something looks absolutely hideous". When I got down to 3, I did ask for opinions, but my friends were good about being moderate. 

I initially fell in love with a Maggie Sottero dress online, but I knew I would never buy it (much more than I was willing to spend), so I looked for dresses at DB that had similar silhouettes and detail. The dress I chose ended up being the cheapest, but one I found online and kept coming back to look at. I didn't get very emotional, or have this special moment of "THIS is the ONE!". I waffled between two. Yes, the dress should look good on you and make you feel special, but is IS just a dress!

I ended up not wearing the dress I picked on my wedding day because of delivery issues. I ended up wearing a dress I borrowed from an extended family, that was her wedding dress. It would not have been a dress I picked out in the store, but it fit my style and it fit me well- I got lots of compliments on it. So again, it is just a dress . 

Knottie1432668587

Knottie1431649503 said:

Also ask if you can try them on with accessories and a veil that might give you a more bridal feeling. 

Thanks!! I think that's what I have to do, accessorise and try with a veil to feel more bridal. But there go another thousand dollars on the veil...ouch! Are they that pricey in the US? Here they're ridiculously expensive!

Knottie1432668587

SP29 said:

First, you look stunning in all these dresses. You could pick any of them and your guests will ohhh and ahhh over you .

My favourites are the very first 3 you posted. But that's me . I also LOVE lace, so I'm not much help to you there either .

When I thought about my dress, I thought about what I generally like... I don't like big puffy dresses (ball gown out), and I knew I would look best likely in an A-line or fit and flare style. I love lace in general, but I knew lace would likely be out of my budget. I am big on the cut and fit of an outfit, more than the intricate details, and I generally dress more "simple" (again going for cut, or colour, over lots of details). 

So I started looking online, very open minded, not looking for "the one", just seeing what my eye instantly gravitated to. Then, when I found styles I liked, went to the bridal store and started trying things on. Even though I was particular in my previous paragraph, I did try many styles on, just to be sure. It is interesting what looks good on a model in a photo, but maybe not yourself! I narrowed it down to 3, then to 2, then finally chose 1. I am also very indecisive, but I told my shopping crew "I only want you to tell me if something looks absolutely hideous". When I got down to 3, I did ask for opinions, but my friends were good about being moderate. 

I initially fell in love with a Maggie Sottero dress online, but I knew I would never buy it (much more than I was willing to spend), so I looked for dresses at DB that had similar silhouettes and detail. The dress I chose ended up being the cheapest, but one I found online and kept coming back to look at. I didn't get very emotional, or have this special moment of "THIS is the ONE!". I waffled between two. Yes, the dress should look good on you and make you feel special, but is IS just a dress!

I ended up not wearing the dress I picked on my wedding day because of delivery issues. I ended up wearing a dress I borrowed from an extended family, that was her wedding dress. It would not have been a dress I picked out in the store, but it fit my style and it fit me well- I got lots of compliments on it. So again, it is just a dress . 

Thank you so much for your advice, I think you're right, it's just a dress and I'm placing too much importance on it.
I sort of did like you, narrow down what I liked in pictures and tried on dresses which were like that. They look good on me but I didn't feel very excited about the dress (those would be the first two dresses which fit the bill but just don't make me feel excited).

spockforprez

Knottie1432668587 said:

Also ask if you can try them on with accessories and a veil that might give you a more bridal feeling. 

Thanks!! I think that's what I have to do, accessorise and try with a veil to feel more bridal. But there go another thousand dollars on the veil...ouch! Are they that pricey in the US? Here they're ridiculously expensive!

Holy shit! No, not that expensive here. Are you going with a mantilla style? (Thinking that might be the reason Spanish veils are expensive.)

You can buy a tulle veil online from an Etsy seller that ships to Spain, maybe? Or even go into a craft store, buy some tulle, and do a makeshift veil to take with you to the salon. 

Do the salons you are visiting not sell veils as well? You don't have to buy one yet; just try one on at the shop while you're trying on dresses.

Knottie1431649503

Holly cow no! That's almost as expensive as the dress I sent you! I would try etsy, or other online places that would ship to you, the only hard thing would be to match the colors.

glasgowtolondon

You look great in all the pics you've posted, but its such a personal decision I know. You keep going back to the Jenny Packham so maybe try on a selection of her gowns if you haven't already. Maybe there is another in her range that fits the whole package of what you are looking for. Fingers crossed you find your dress soon, keep us updated!

Knottie1432668587

spockforprez said:

Knottie1432668587 said:

Knottie1431649503 said:

Also ask if you can try them on with accessories and a veil that might give you a more bridal feeling. 

Holy shit! No, not that expensive here. Are you going with a mantilla style? (Thinking that might be the reason Spanish veils are expensive.)

You can buy a tulle veil online from an Etsy seller that ships to Spain, maybe? Or even go into a craft store, buy some tulle, and do a makeshift veil to take with you to the salon. 

Do the salons you are visiting not sell veils as well? You don't have to buy one yet; just try one on at the shop while you're trying on dresses.

No! I mean the plain tulle ones or with lace on the edge. They range from 500 to 1500 euros and I can't imagine what the mantillas cost!
They sell them in the same bridal shops, that's why I know

Knottie1432668587

Knottie1431649503 said:

Holly cow no! That's almost as expensive as the dress I sent you! I would try etsy, or other online places that would ship to you, the only hard thing would be to match the colors.

Thanks for the advice! It might be hard to match the colours though, maybe I'm lucky as some stores give you some of the accessories as a gift hehehee

Knottie1432668587

glasgowtolondon said:

You look great in all the pics you've posted, but its such a personal decision I know. You keep going back to the Jenny Packham so maybe try on a selection of her gowns if you haven't already. Maybe there is another in her range that fits the whole package of what you are looking for. Fingers crossed you find your dress soon, keep us updated!

I think I may be a Jenny Packham bride because I keep thinking about it and going on in my head lol! I'm going next Saturday with my mum AND dad for the first time and ill accessorise to see how I feel!! I'm feeling excited!!!

MesmrEwe

Knottie1432668587 said:

Also ask if you can try them on with accessories and a veil that might give you a more bridal feeling. 

Thanks!! I think that's what I have to do, accessorise and try with a veil to feel more bridal. But there go another thousand dollars on the veil...ouch! Are they that pricey in the US? Here they're ridiculously expensive!

For pennies and a trip to the fabric store - you can have a lovely veil!  There are also tons of sites online that you can get rather ornate veils reasonably as well.  Veils from the bridal shop are the one thing with the highest markup. 

justsuzie

Marbella!