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Attire & Accessories Forum
Knottie1432668587
member
Still haven't found the dress...getting confused!
Hello everyone!
Quite a while ago I posted about some wedding dresses, I started looking for my dress early on, when most stores didn't have their new collections in.
I have tried loads of dresses by now and I just haven't found one that has blown me away. I'm horribly indecisive in general and I'm finding this decision really tough.
I don't have a set style (as in princess, vintage, boho, Grecian, etc) and now I've lost weight I fit in almost any style, which doesn't help!
I'm heavily influenced by what the vendor says and then go home and stare at the photo and I'm unconvinced. Or the other way round: I'm not convinced with the dress on and then I try to convince myself to like it.
I seem to have become a little picky too as I seem to fault them...
Here are some recent ones I've tried:
Yolancris: stunning back but my dad hates the horizontal lines and I wonder if the skirt looks like a curtain.
Pronovias: can't fault it, quality noticeably not very good and I don't feel it's very exciting
Jose Maria Peiro: very well fitted top, don't like skirt and the top is actually see through
Jenny Packham: I like the idea of something unusual but it doesn't feel bridal, it's like a party dress
Any tips or opinions? Will I really know when it's THE DRESS?
Thanks so much!!
Quite a while ago I posted about some wedding dresses, I started looking for my dress early on, when most stores didn't have their new collections in.
I have tried loads of dresses by now and I just haven't found one that has blown me away. I'm horribly indecisive in general and I'm finding this decision really tough.
I don't have a set style (as in princess, vintage, boho, Grecian, etc) and now I've lost weight I fit in almost any style, which doesn't help!
I'm heavily influenced by what the vendor says and then go home and stare at the photo and I'm unconvinced. Or the other way round: I'm not convinced with the dress on and then I try to convince myself to like it.
I seem to have become a little picky too as I seem to fault them...
Here are some recent ones I've tried:
Yolancris: stunning back but my dad hates the horizontal lines and I wonder if the skirt looks like a curtain.
Pronovias: can't fault it, quality noticeably not very good and I don't feel it's very exciting
Jose Maria Peiro: very well fitted top, don't like skirt and the top is actually see through
Jenny Packham: I like the idea of something unusual but it doesn't feel bridal, it's like a party dress
Any tips or opinions? Will I really know when it's THE DRESS?
Thanks so much!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Still haven't found the dress...getting confused!
If Say Yes to the Dress has taught me anything, it's that you might want to mix it up and try on some styles you aren't immediately attracted to; classic ballgown, mermaid, short (if you like a less traditional look), etc., and maybe different fabrics or colors. It looks here like you're drawn to A-lines (mostly) with a gauzy look.
I also think it's a completely emotional thing when you know you found the dress. I didn't cry or anything and I have pretty serious body issues, but I tried on this one dress and knew it was the most fabulous dress I'd ever seen and I really, really wanted to get married in it. Good luck!
Just so you can see what those look like, here are some other shapes haha!
Rosa Clará: fit and flare. Don't like that it's strapless and my brother says I look like a squid
Bouret: I don't think this cut suits me, it felt like a costume from a period drama
Can't remember name of designer: seems too boxy and doesn't do anything for my shape
Yolancris : mermaid, lace too intricate and overdone
Dreamon: biggest ball gown I've ever seen, enormous and doubtful quality
Pronovias: big and poofy with illusion front
Rosa Clará: don't like that it doesn't have straps
My suggestion would be to delete all of these pictures off your phone. Then wait a week or so. go to a store and start fresh. Describe to your consultant what styles you like, what your wedding is going to be like, and what your general style is. Also, tell her what styles or certain things that your absolutely don't want. Let her pick out a few dresses to try on and go from there. You can tell her what things you like and don't like so she can have a better Idea of what dress to pull.
Just remember, not everyone has a "wow" moment or feels like they found "the dress." It may be that your just find "A" dress that you think is pretty and flatters you nicely and will fit the feel of your wedding, and that's okay!
Also, YOU are the one who is wearing the dress. Don't let the consultant or your family and friends talk you out a dress you love or into a dress you hate.
ETA: Once you have found your dress, STOP looking. It will only confuse you more to try on more dresses. Also, a good suggestion someone gave me was to not look at pictures. A picture on your cell phone can't pick up all the details and beauty of your dress. Just remember how much you loved it when you first tried it on and how beautiful it made you feel.
First of all, you may not find "the perfect dress" that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside and make you burst into tears. TV has pushed that image on us and not everyone gets that.
Second, sometimes it helps to take some of the pressure off of it. Instead of thinking about it being THE wedding dress and putting so much pressure on it needing to be perfect to make your day perfect, maybe start realizing that it's just a dress. It's one outfit that you will wear one day for one party. There's no magical significance to it... it's still just a dress. That helped me when I started thinking that way and took the pressure off it needing to be perfect.
I found it MUCH easier when I started shopping alone. Taking everyone else's opinions out of the decision made it easier, because they will never all agree. When I found one that I really liked, then I would send pictures to my mom & sister for their opinion. But, when I finally had found the one that I liked best, I made sure to tell them that I thought it was the right one... they were less likely to make negative comments on it knowing that I liked it best. It helped solidify my decision when they were all in agreement (whether it was genuine or not, I don't really care, but I do think they did genuinely agree that it was the right dress).
With all the dresses you have tried, pick out what you like or dislike about each. Then try to find a dress that has all the good qualities. First, I realized that I liked A-line on me best... so after that I only tried on a-line. Then, I found that I really liked a ruched bodice, but didn't like the bottoms on any of them that I tried. I found a few that I liked the skirt, but not the bodice. Then I went searching online for a dress that incorporated the cut, bodice style, and skirt styles that I liked. I found one from a previous year collection, but was able to have the bridal salon order it in to try on. I still didn't get the "OMG, THIS IS IT!" moment, but it was gorgeous and had all the elements I was looking for, so I knew it was right.
Once I knew what elements I was looking for, I actually considered getting it custom made, since I knew what I was looking for. Prices ran around $1,500+, depending on what you wanted. But, that may be an option also.
Thank you for the advice!
The reason why I take pics is because I chose the dress for my brother's wedding on my own, I trusted the consultants and I thought it was amazing.
Everyone agrees it was NOT the dress for me and it looks terrible in photos, absolutely horrible. Not a single photo looks good, so I've lost faith in my judgement and the consultant's too!!
Thank you so much, that's some great advice! I know by now that I won't have the wow moment, but I do want to find a dress which looks right and I won't hate later on.
You're right about taking the importance off it, everyone makes it feel like it's such a big deal and it puts a lot of pressure!
I think I'm going to follow your advice and try some of the things you've all said, I hope it will get me closer to the dress I will wear on the day!
But, on my wedding day, I felt amazing in it. While getting ready, I finally had some sort of emotional reaction that it was all coming together right and that my dress was perfect. But, I never felt anything close to that while shopping.
And as far as it checking off items on the list, after I started narrowing down what elements I wanted in my dress, I didn't try on anything that didn't have those elements. I actually had times where I went into a dress store and left without trying on anything. If I had tried on all the various cuts/styles and knew I only liked a-line, it made no sense to waste my time or the consultants trying on dresses that didn't meet that.
And, I love that second Rosa Clara dress, and it looks like you could add straps to it very easily.
Have you tried any accessories with the dresses? Not sure if you're wearing a veil, headpiece, etc. but that can help bring the day-of vision together in your mind. Also having your hair up vs. down depending on how you might think you'll wear it.
ETA: I absolutely agree with shopping alone - at least a couple times. It's much easier to get a feel for what you really want. In my case, my mom and grandma definitely wanted to be there when I picked it which i was fine with. But it was definitely easier after I went alone once, narrowed it down - and then a week later showed them only the 5-6 that I really loved.
I feel like I feel pressured to feel something really special and really love a dress and I'm not sure that's going to happen. How long do you have? Can you wait a month or so before you go back shopping again? Give yourself a timeout?
Good luck! Whatever you find it's going to be gorgeous!
The second Rosa Clara dress is very nice, I think I've tried it on 7 times, but I still haven't been convinced for some reason so I wonder...
The Jenny Packham seems to get a lot of love, which I find surprising because it isn't the typical wedding dress. Do you guys love it because of the designer or because you really think it suits me?
I like that it suits my personality (I'm very different and into fashion and a bit sexy but classy) but a lot of people I show seem to think it isn't bridal! I am also torn that it hasn't got a train and a closed back. I have a very small chest so I should be showing my back instead of my lack of cleavage, and yet the dress looks good on me haha!
You're not the only one who loves the Jose Maria top, but the bottom of the dress was a bit underwhelming and did nothing for my figure. Really it's a ballgown but it's missing a layer of tulle that the designer forgot to send.
I think I may go shopping a couple of times alone, to see what I feel without anyone's opinion as you say!
Thank you so much! You've voiced exactly what I feel: they're pretty and I feel that must be the dress but when I walk away I couldn't care less and I never seem to picture myself in any of them on the day.
I suppose I could wait but the issue is time to try on dresses as I work and so does my mum so it's difficult to coincide sometimes.
Thank you for the advice!
I think your focus on something "bridal" may be what's throwing you. What makes it bridal is when you walk down the aisle in it, not the train or other elements. Good luck!
Signed, another underwhelmed dress shopper;)
The dress will look bridal on the day of because a bride will be wearing it. You will probably have some kind of headpiece, and you'll be carrying a bouquet (I assume), and will be walking down an aisle! There's nothing not-bridal about that!
I actually really like the dress with the see-through top. The top can always be lined if it being see-through is a concern. But that dress definitely needs to have an updo so that you don't cover up the high neckline. I also like the Jenny Packham dress. Yes it may not fit the traditional definition of bridal/wedding dress, but it will be bridal on your wedding day because you are a bride wearing it to get married in.
I agree with spockforprez though about going back and trying on your narrowed down choices with accessories and your hair in a style that is similar to what you may want for your wedding day. It is amazing what adding a few accessories can do for the overall look.
If you really want something with a train, maybe a long veil to get that feel or see if you can get it altered to add a train. Although, honestly, it's easier to get through the night without having to deal with a train getting in the way or having to bustle and unbustle the dress. My dress had a diagonal flow to the skirt, so I had a 9-point asymetrical bustle to hold up the train properly. It took 15 minutes for my mom & sister to figure out how to put it up for the reception. Then most of my wedding photos have it bustled because we did various photo locations and didn't want to have to keep putting it up and down, because it was such a big process. I have a total of 2 posed photos (out of maybe 100) showing the train of my dress down. So, not having a train isn't necessarily a bad thing. Although with most of the dresses you have shown, the bustle should be much simpler than mine was.
I think you're completely right about the "bridal" business! I think it's also because my in-laws and future Hubbie are super traditional so they would go for the Spanish lace dresses probably!
The see through top is lovely but I'm underwhelmed by the skirt and I didn't really want an updo for the wedding!
Thank you so much for your advice!!
I like that it suits my personality (I'm very different and into fashion and a bit sexy but classy) but a lot of people I show seem to think it isn't bridal! I am also torn that it hasn't got a train and a closed back. I have a very small chest so I should be showing my back instead of my lack of cleavage, and yet the dress looks good on me haha!
It may not feel "bridal" just because it isn't the traditional bridal styles, which seems to be part of what you like about it. Once you get set with the accessories and hair, it will feel more bridal. Do you plan on wearing a veil? That would definitely increase the bridal feel. Even just a headpiece would push it farther to the bridal scale. Take a bouquet with you to hold while trying on the dress. All those elements increase the bridal feel of any dress.
If you really want something with a train, maybe a long veil to get that feel or see if you can get it altered to add a train. Although, honestly, it's easier to get through the night without having to deal with a train getting in the way or having to bustle and unbustle the dress. My dress had a diagonal flow to the skirt, so I had a 9-point asymetrical bustle to hold up the train properly. It took 15 minutes for my mom & sister to figure out how to put it up for the reception. Then most of my wedding photos have it bustled because we did various photo locations and didn't want to have to keep putting it up and down, because it was such a big process. I have a total of 2 posed photos (out of maybe 100) showing the train of my dress down. So, not having a train isn't necessarily a bad thing. Although with most of the dresses you have shown, the bustle should be much simpler than mine was.
That's great advice!! Thank you so much!! If I go back to try it again I think I'll try it with a veil and even a bouquet if possible!
Now I just have to figure out if I want that dress or my original idea of a dress (open back, mermaid)
I tried these two Yolancris dresses yesterday as I had already booked an appointment:
Yolancris Lauren:
Yolancris Marbella: