Obsessing about going off BCP

laurad75

Hi.  I'm planning a wedding for May of this year so I'm a frequent poster on my local board and ask a lot of questions on the invites board but I only lurk here on CC.  I'm hoping some of you would be willing to provide some advice or thoughts. 

As I mentioned FI and I are getting married in May - I'm so excited.  We also hope to begin TTC pretty quickly because we are both excited to hopefully start a family and also...we are 40.  

I have been on BCP for almost 2 decades and I am willing to go off after I finish the next pack but is that a bad idea right before the wedding?  Will I gain weight or break out or get crazy moody or have my period every day for the next 6 months?  

Should I just wait until after the wedding and go off then?  

TK community has been so helpful to me in so many ways I thought you might have some helpful thoughts on this.  

Thank you. 

lyndausvi

I went off after 20 years.   The only thing I noticed was PMS symptoms were were than I remember (I never had cramps, then I did. A little more emotional, etc) and periods were heavier.  

Oh and my cycle was all over the place.   17-31 days.   That was fun.

nerdwife

laurad75 said:

Hi.  I'm planning a wedding for May of this year so I'm a frequent poster on my local board and ask a lot of questions on the invites board but I only lurk here on CC.  I'm hoping some of you would be willing to provide some advice or thoughts. 

As I mentioned FI and I are getting married in May - I'm so excited.  We also hope to begin TTC pretty quickly because we are both excited to hopefully start a family and also...we are 40.  

I have been on BCP for almost 2 decades and I am willing to go off after I finish the next pack but is that a bad idea right before the wedding?  Will I gain weight or break out or get crazy moody or have my period every day for the next 6 months?  

Should I just wait until after the wedding and go off then?  

TK community has been so helpful to me in so many ways I thought you might have some helpful thoughts on this.  

Thank you. 

Personally, I do think this is a bad idea. I briefly considered it, but then realized the following problems:

1. I am much more emotional before my period when I'm not on BC. What if I'm PMSing right before the wedding?
2. What if my cycle is irregular and there's no way to know if I'll have my period at my wedding? I'm sure that many woman have gotten married while on their periods, but I am taking a hard pass at that.
3. What if I get pregnant before the wedding and it turns out I have really bad nausea/morning sickness? Will I miss out on my own wedding?

The other things you pointed out could happen - you could be moody and kind of all over the place as your body readjusts. Of course, there are people who go off it and are fine. I just know I'm not one of those people and it seems like you have no way of knowing if you are, either. Why not wait the extra few months?

laurad75

@lyndausvi  Yes, the crazy cycle that's what I'm afraid of. 

@nerdwife  I think you're right.  I will be patient and deal with this right after the wedding. 

emmaaa

Everyone reacts differently to starting and stopping the BCP. Some people gain weight and some lose it. Some people get break outs while others don't. For some, cramps are awful and for others, they are the same.

Since you don't know how your body will react, I personally, would not want to stop it before the wedding. Your cycle could become unpredictable, you could gain/lose weight, your skin could go crazy, and you could have awful cramps.

Most BCPs can be stopped and within a month you are theoretically able to conceive. I would talk with your GYN about the best option for you, but I would wait.

nerdwife

laurad75 said:

@lyndausvi  Yes, the crazy cycle that's what I'm afraid of. 

@nerdwife  I think you're right.  I will be patient and deal with this right after the wedding. 

Good luck! And yay for your wedding being pretty soon!

Jells2dot0

I went off of BC a few years back just to see how I'd do (H had a vasectomy, so no pregnancy at stake here). I was a total nightmare. Random periods and extremely oily. I started breaking out all of the time. I went back on it after a few months. I did not lose weight when I went off and I did not gain any when I went back on.

I then had to go off of it again during my cancer treatments because I had a blood clot. Oh holy hell- it was terrible, but in a different way. I went into menopause from the chemo and the BCP was the only thing keeping my hormones going. The hot flashes were INTENSE and plentiful. I went back on it as soon as my oncologist allowed. I am getting ready to go off of it again next month, but it will be replaced with lower level hormone therapy. I realize you won't be in this situation, but it was amazing how much the BCP did for me and my body.

laurad75

emmaaa said:

Everyone reacts differently to starting and stopping the BCP. Some people gain weight and some lose it. Some people get break outs while others don't. For some, cramps are awful and for others, they are the same.

Since you don't know how your body will react, I personally, would not want to stop it before the wedding. Your cycle could become unpredictable, you could gain/lose weight, your skin could go crazy, and you could have awful cramps.

Most BCPs can be stopped and within a month you are theoretically able to conceive. I would talk with your GYN about the best option for you, but I would wait.

Thank you.  At my last GYN appt I had just gotten engaged and just turned 40 so we did talk a little about family planning and she just recommended that I stop the pill 30 days before we TTC. 

tigerlily6

Have you met with your doctor to see what they advise? Everybody has different reactions to BC, and especially if you will be TTC, let them know so they can help you figure everything out. When and how to replace daily BC pills with folic acid supplements and prenatal vitamins is something they can help you figure out. 

From my own personal experience, I went off BC last summer. And for me, I felt really good off of it. I do have more cramps and my cycle readjusted a bit, but after 3 months I normalized at 24 days like clockwork. I didn't lose much poundage, but I did slim down and don't feel quite so bloated. And when I'm in my fertile period, I seriously do notice a "damn, I feel sexy" natural ovulation high. However, this is just my experience, and I certainly know some -- maybe most -- women have other reactions. 

kvruns

I went off it last May (same time as wedding) and the only thing I experienced has heavier periods and I do have a little more moodiness and my skin but nothing terrible. I didn't have any weird cycles or weight gain (well ok I have gained weight since then but I'm thinking more tied to eating whatever the hell I wanted post-wedding). My cycle was consistent right away but I know others vary.

If you are super concerned about those things then just wait, it is only a few more months. We are on the hurry up train too as H is 40 this month but nothing so far (well an early MC in December) but hopefully something sticks soon.

laurad75

tigerlily6 said:

Have you met with your doctor to see what they advise? Everybody has different reactions to BC, and especially if you will be TTC, let them know so they can help you figure everything out. When and how to replace daily BC pills with folic acid supplements and prenatal vitamins is something they can help you figure out. 

From my own personal experience, I went off BC last summer. And for me, I felt really good off of it. I do have more cramps and my cycle readjusted a bit, but after 3 months I normalized at 24 days like clockwork. I didn't lose much poundage, but I did slim down and don't feel quite so bloated. And when I'm in my fertile period, I seriously do notice a "damn, I feel sexy" natural ovulation high. However, this is just my experience, and I certainly know some -- maybe most -- women have other reactions. 

I think when we get back from the HM I will make an appt with my Dr. to talk about the supplements and vitamins.  Some of my 40+ friends have seen drs to have everything checked out and get an idea of their egg count (is that what its called) so they know what the situation is before TTC.  Would my OB/GYN perform an exam like that or a fertility specialist?  

Thank you everyone for the candid advice.  It was just what I was looking for. 

lyndausvi

Now for me, I would pick going off BCP over menopause any day.   Between headaches, insomnia and hot flashes.    Well life sucks right now.   Going off BCP was a breeze.

nerdwife

laurad75 said:

tigerlily6 said:

Have you met with your doctor to see what they advise? Everybody has different reactions to BC, and especially if you will be TTC, let them know so they can help you figure everything out. When and how to replace daily BC pills with folic acid supplements and prenatal vitamins is something they can help you figure out. 

From my own personal experience, I went off BC last summer. And for me, I felt really good off of it. I do have more cramps and my cycle readjusted a bit, but after 3 months I normalized at 24 days like clockwork. I didn't lose much poundage, but I did slim down and don't feel quite so bloated. And when I'm in my fertile period, I seriously do notice a "damn, I feel sexy" natural ovulation high. However, this is just my experience, and I certainly know some -- maybe most -- women have other reactions. 

I think when we get back from the HM I will make an appt with my Dr. to talk about the supplements and vitamins.  Some of my 40+ friends have seen drs to have everything checked out and get an idea of their egg count (is that what its called) so they know what the situation is before TTC.  Would my OB/GYN perform an exam like that or a fertility specialist?  

Thank you everyone for the candid advice.  It was just what I was looking for. 

I found a new ob/gyn this year because the one I was using was one I had started using when I lived at home and I needed one closer to me who delivers at the hospital I want to be at (where FI works). So at my annual I asked her what we do when we decide we're ready to start trying. She said that three months before we want to start, we have a pre-conception appointment. I do have some issues that may signal a fertility problem, so she'll do blood work to check that out. She'll also do some genetic screening and make sure I'm up to date on my vaccines. Once that's all set, we're good to start.

I know, however, that this varies. I told my friend about this (who has two kids) and she said she didn't know or do any of that. She had no problem getting pregnant and had genetic screening (we're Jewish) after she conceived (and fortunately, there was nothing to worry about).

FI and I are planners and, like I said, I am worried I may have some trouble conceiving, so we're going to go with this advanced planning route. But I think that's up to the couples to decide for themselves.

ETA: I don't know where an ob/gyn stops and fertility specialist being. I think there are ob/gyns who specialize in maternal fetal medicine and other things who may help you with egg counts and such. I'd recommend going to see your regular doctor and asking him/her.

themosthappy91

I'm going to present a different perspective and say maybe you should stop them now, depending on how important it is for you to TTC as soon as possible after the wedding.

I got off BCP last year because we wanted to switch to using condoms exclusively, not because we are TTC. My skin went absolutely crazy- my face was super oily and I had extensive back and chest acne as well. It was disgusting and made me miserable and took some moderately extensive dermatological intervention to get under control.

Since we weren't TTC, it would have been very easy for me to just get back on the pill and use that method to clear up my skin rather than the battery of dermatological treatments I underwent, but I opted not to because I know we'll be TTC in a few years and I'd rather deal with any negative side effects of going off BC now rather than when I'm stressed about getting pregnant or actually pregnant. Particularly with skin issues, they are MUCH harder to treat for ladies who are or are trying to become pregnant- never mind the toll breaking out like crazy took on my sex drive and how that would have affected TTC, if I'd waited to go off BC until the last minute.

Same with many other possible side-effects of stopping hormonal BC- gaining weight and wild emotions are also not things I would want to be in the midst of when TTC. Plus there's the issue that for some women it takes a long time for their period to even come back- if you're not going to ovulate for six months after coming off birth control, would you rather start that wait now or four months from now?

I'm not at all suggesting you shouldn't wait until after the wedding to stop your BCPs if that's what you want to do- but honestly if getting pregnant as soon after the wedding as possible is your highest priority, maybe you should do it now. Hope this perspective helps!

levioosa

Talk to your OB/GYN as everything you will be told here is opinion and personal anecdotes, and not real medical advice.  

That being said, I personally would wait.  My periods are awful, heavy, and irregular.  My BCP keeps them down to one per month instead of three, and I have less acne, my cramps are manageable, and I feel more emotionally stable.  The trade off is that they make me gain about 20 pounds, so at least 20 of what I have to lose right now is going to stay regardless of how I work out and eat, which sucks.  But I would not be willing to go off right before my wedding because when my period would start would be a crap shoot.  For a lot of people that doesn't mean anything, and it would be fine, but I end up curled around the toilet throwing up for a few days each time it starts, and that wouldn't bode well for a big event.  


Talk to your OBGYN about any fertility concerns you have now, as well as any concerns you have about going off of birth control. They will be able to either do the tests you are asking about, or refer you to a specialist.  Keep in mind though that some tests are not covered by insurance unless indicated (for example, Cystic Fibrosis runs in the family).  The advice to start taking a prenatal vitamin and 400 mcg of folic acid/day are solid, and your OBGYN will definitely recommend that as well. If you are TTC right after the wedding she/he will also most likely recommend you stop drinking alcohol and caffeine, and stop smoking.  He/she will recommend you get your titers checked (and get any boosters needed), and that you exercise and eat a healthy diet.   

lc07

I'm with @themosthappy91. You have a lot of time before the wedding. You could get off now and use a different method of BC in the meantime. And if you have a bad experience getting off, you can just get right back on. Of course discuss this with your doctor first. 

I had absolutely no changes what-so-ever getting off the BC pill that I had been on for 15+ years with the exception of ovulation discharge (I assume because I was ovulating). 

laurad75

levioosa said: Talk to your OB/GYN as everything you will be told here is opinion and personal anecdotes, and not real medical advice.  
That being said, I personally would wait.  My periods are awful, heavy, and irregular.  My BCP keeps them down to one per month instead of three, and I have less acne, my cramps are manageable, and I feel more emotionally stable.  The trade off is that they make me gain about 20 pounds, so at least 20 of what I have to lose right now is going to stay regardless of how I work out and eat, which sucks.  But I would not be willing to go off right before my wedding because when my period would start would be a crap shoot.  For a lot of people that doesn't mean anything, and it would be fine, but I end up curled around the toilet throwing up for a few days each time it starts, and that wouldn't bode well for a big event.  


Talk to your OBGYN about any fertility concerns you have now, as well as any concerns you have about going off of birth control. They will be able to either do the tests you are asking about, or refer you to a specialist.  Keep in mind though that some tests are not covered by insurance unless indicated (for example, Cystic Fibrosis runs in the family).  The advice to start taking a prenatal vitamin and 400 mcg of folic acid/day are solid, and your OBGYN will definitely recommend that as well. If you are TTC right after the wedding she/he will also most likely recommend you stop drinking alcohol and caffeine, and stop smoking.  He/she will recommend you get your titers checked (and get any boosters needed), and that you exercise and eat a healthy diet.   
 

Thank you.  Yes, I absolutely understand that all the comments are personal experience and not medical advice.  I will be seeing my doctor again as soon as we return from our HM.  I probably should have worded my OP to say I was interested in hearing experiences from other women when they stopped BC.  I know that every experience is different but I was curious what others thought.  This has been really helpful.  

edited bc the boxes 

madamerwin

tigerlily6 said:

Have you met with your doctor to see what they advise? Everybody has different reactions to BC, and especially if you will be TTC, let them know so they can help you figure everything out. When and how to replace daily BC pills with folic acid supplements and prenatal vitamins is something they can help you figure out. 

From my own personal experience, I went off BC last summer. And for me, I felt really good off of it. I do have more cramps and my cycle readjusted a bit, but after 3 months I normalized at 24 days like clockwork. I didn't lose much poundage, but I did slim down and don't feel quite so bloated. And when I'm in my fertile period, I seriously do notice a "damn, I feel sexy" natural ovulation high. However, this is just my experience, and I certainly know some -- maybe most -- women have other reactions. 

I second talking to your doctor about it. I, personally, had worse mood swings/weight gain, etc. ON the pill, and when I went off of it I felt WAY better. But there really isn't a way to know for sure until you do it, so I understand your hesitation.

My friend got married last summer, and she went off the pill a couple of months after because they want to TTC right away (they are in their late 30s and they would like two kids, so they were anxious to get started). She didn't get her period for two months after, and when she got worried enough she went to her doctor. The doctor suggested getting her hormone levels checked to see if something was out of whack (and to see what her egg reserve looked like). Her numbers were fine for her age, but it didn't look like she was ovulating at all, which the doctor said could be a combination of age, stress, weight changes, and/or length of time she was on the pill. She felt a lot better after checking with her doctor, even though her cycle is still not normal and she doesn't appear to be ovulating. So I would definitely talk to your doctor about it before making a decision.

thisismynickname2

tigerlily6 said:

Have you met with your doctor to see what they advise? Everybody has different reactions to BC, and especially if you will be TTC, let them know so they can help you figure everything out. When and how to replace daily BC pills with folic acid supplements and prenatal vitamins is something they can help you figure out. 

From my own personal experience, I went off BC last summer. And for me, I felt really good off of it. I do have more cramps and my cycle readjusted a bit, but after 3 months I normalized at 24 days like clockwork. I didn't lose much poundage, but I did slim down and don't feel quite so bloated. And when I'm in my fertile period, I seriously do notice a "damn, I feel sexy" natural ovulation high. However, this is just my experience, and I certainly know some -- maybe most -- women have other reactions. 

Huh, I reacted the same way. I feel much more in tune with my body NOT on BC than on. We just use condoms to prevent pregnancy now.

huskypuppy14

Again, everything I say is my personal experience. What worked for me, may not work for you just because everyone's body is different.

I got off BCP last June, 1 year after my wedding. I had been on the pill for over 10 years. I started tracking my basal body temperature and read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I highly recommend it, and other knotties do too. My husband and I TTC in August and I got pregnant in October, so it only took 3 cycles. My period was regular right from the beginning. The thing is, you don't know how your body will react until you do it. Personally, I didn't want to have my period on my wedding day.

For anyone who mentioned breaking out, in my experience, pregnancy breakouts have been almost as bad as teenage breakouts. Ugh. 

Also, if you and your husband are both Caucasian, you will be tested to see if you are a cystic fibrosis carrier when you are pregnant.

I had my annual physical in September, about a month before I found out I was pregnant. I had my doctor test me for my titer levels to make sure I was still immune to certain diseases I already had vaccines for. Your immunity can wear off, so it's good to get checked before you are pregnant because some vaccines you can't get when you are pregnant. 

There is also no reason you can't start taking prenatal vitamins (with folic acid) now. You want to really take them before you are pregnant as well as during pregnancy, so it's already in your system

luckya23

I had the same thoughts, and went off in January before my June wedding.  BIG MISTAKE!  I broke out like crazy, on face, chest, and back, and had 2 periods a month!  I was also super-emotional, and everyone kept saying I was stressed, which I was not really beyond normal.

I also started having vaginal pain, and I finally went to the gyn, and he was so dismissive, like "well of course! you went off your meds! get back on!"  So that's what I did.

PrettyGirlLost

Great advice in this thread!

I just wanted to mention how much I hate insurance companies, though; Hey, dipshits (insurance bean counters)! You guys know that biologically and logically it makes sense to screen for potential genetic issues BEFORE a woman is pregnant, right? PCR tests are pretty cheap to run, guys.

jenna8984

I was going to say the same thing as @huskypuppy14 regarding start prenatal vitamins NOW. They are most effective when already in your system at conception. I took them for a full year before I became pregnant.

kvruns

Chiming in on the prenatals, I also started taking them before TTC although I admit I'm not 100% consistent taking them. Some places offer them for free (Meijer stores do) so that is worth looking into if cost is a concern.

laurad75

This has been SO helpful.  I think I am going to schedule an appt with my doctor in the short term but plan to stay on BC until after the wedding.  

Are prenatals by prescription or OTC?

peachy13

laurad75 said:

This has been SO helpful.  I think I am going to schedule an appt with my doctor in the short term but plan to stay on BC until after the wedding.  

Are prenatals by prescription or OTC?

I just came off the pill in November which was a month after my wedding. My prescription was up, DH and I are TTC later this year, so it kind of made sense to just stop taking it. 

Very happy I waited until post-wedding. Your body needs time to adjust. While everyone is different, the first two things that happened to me was that I felt bloated for about a month until my first natural period, and my skin and hair (but mostly skin) got incredibly oily. I would have been pretty bummed with bloat and oily skin on my wedding day. Also, there is spotting since your body is a little confused. Spotting on wedding day would have been bad.

Regarding prenatal vitamins, I had my annual physical a few weeks ago and told my doctor that I was likely going to start TTC this year and she recommend that women who are TTC should be on prenatal vitamins or at least taking 400mcg of folate (folic acid). Folic acid can be found in the form of a lot of Vitamin B complex. I was already taking vitamin B (specifically, Solary Mega B - Stress) which already has the recommend amount of folate. I had already been taking this vitamin B prior to my wedding because I was so stressed that I was getting little cold sores/dry spots on my mouth and someone recommend Vitamin B. It's a bonus that there is folate in it. My doctor said the most important time to be taking folate is during the 1st month of pregnancy which is the month where a lot of women don't even know they're pregnant -- so that's why it's a good idea to start taking it now.

good luck!

ETA: I also recommend a fertility tracker. I use the Kindara app on my phone and you log in the days you have your period, etc. and it will estimate your fertile days.

jenna8984

They are OTC anywhere just like vitamins. I'm a wussy with large pills so I get the gummies lol

kvruns

laurad75 said:

This has been SO helpful.  I think I am going to schedule an appt with my doctor in the short term but plan to stay on BC until after the wedding.  

Are prenatals by prescription or OTC?

laurad75 said:

This has been SO helpful.  I think I am going to schedule an appt with my doctor in the short term but plan to stay on BC until after the wedding.  

Are prenatals by prescription or OTC?

you can do OTC or prescription. Mine are prescription because Meijer offers them for free so I just called my Dr. and she called in a prescription. If they didn't have a free offering I would have gone OTC

madamerwin

I also recommend starting prenatal vitamins before TTC! When I had blood work done last year at our fertility clinic, the doctors were really impressed by my vitamin D and folic acid levels, which were high because of the vitamins.

I take an OTC kind called Rainbow Light Prenatal, which are supposedly really easy on the stomach (thought I have a steel stomach anyway).

sarahufl

I took BCP for about 10 years but was advised to go off it by my GYN (family history of blood clots). I had zero adverse reactions- my periods were completely normal, no weight gain, no break outs.

Before starting BCPs, I had TERRIBLE periods- I would puke, awful cramps, etc. While I was on them, that wasn't an issue. Now, about 1 or 2 times a year, the first day of my period is downright miserable, but I feel better pretty soon. I enjoy not taking daily hormones- I felt better off the pills.

We used condoms, then NFP once we got married (to avoid pregnancy). Then started TTC after about 6 months. Once you start tracking fertility signs (assuming you are regular), it is actually fairly easy, although it does require some level of diligence.

LadyMillil

I have a slightly different perspective. I went off bcp when I was ready to TTC. It turns out the bcps were masking a medical issue I have that causes infertility. I've been off bcp for a year, am not pregnant, spent 5 months undergoing testing and have waited 2 months (1 more to go) for an appointment with a fertility specialist. I would have gone off the pills much earlier had I known, but I had no symptoms prior to bcp and the women in my family are incredibly fertile, so I didn't see the harm in waiting.

I had minimal weight and skin changes when going off the pill. I have been tracking my fertility signs, as PPs have mentioned, and after the first 2 months I was able to accurately predict when my period would arrive.