Recpetion intros- brides parents divorced, dad remarried.

ksulaski

Hello all-I have a question that I need some serious input on, as I feel one way but my dad feels the opposite.

I am getting married in August. My parents were divorced 2 years ago but are amicable. My dad remarried about 4 months ago. I do not have any sort of relationship with his new wife. My dad is insisted on being introduced with his new wife, instead of my mom, as I would like. I want it to be plain and simple, introduced as "Parents of the bride" using their first names only, no last name. Unfortunately there is not an option of just skipping the intros because FI's parents are still married and would like to be introduced. Please help!

charlotte989875

Your Dad is right, he's married to his new wife now, not your Mom and the way you're suggesting (parents of the bride, them together, first names only) leaves his wife out but also may give the impression your parents are together. I understand why he is against that. If he is introduced he should be escorted by his wife. 

You don't have to do introductions. Just because your FILs are married doesn't mean they need to be introduced. The way I see it is you have them options; introduce your mother (escorted by whomever she likes, or on her own), your father and his wife, and your FIs parents; or two do no parent intros. We skipped them and just had the DJ introduce us. 

Just because you don't have a relationship with your Dad's wife doesn't mean you don't have to respect their relationship. 

scrunchythief

Even if your FI parents want to be introduced, unless you want it too, or they're paying, you don't have to do intros. We skipped all of the intros, came into the end of cocktail hour, and then DH's great-uncle gave a blessing before the meal.

If you do the intros, I agree with your dad.  It'd be weird for him to be introduced with his ex.  The scenario you suggested could make it seem like they're still married, especially to someone who doesn't know them.  You don't have to introduce her as a "parent of the bride," but I think if you're introducing her husband, she should be too.  Maybe introduce your mom as MOB and your dad as FOB, with his wife, (insert her name here).

banana468

ksulaski said:

Hello all-I have a question that I need some serious input on, as I feel one way but my dad feels the opposite.

I am getting married in August. My parents were divorced 2 years ago but are amicable. My dad remarried about 4 months ago. I do not have any sort of relationship with his new wife. My dad is insisted on being introduced with his new wife, instead of my mom, as I would like. I want it to be plain and simple, introduced as "Parents of the bride" using their first names only, no last name. Unfortunately there is not an option of just skipping the intros because FI's parents are still married and would like to be introduced. Please help!

Your parents shouldn't be introduced together because they aren't together.   Unless they're walking next to you (which they wouldn't do at the reception) then your mom would be introduced along with her SO / escort and then your dad would be introduced with his wife. 

Or you just don't do introductions at all.    At no time should any adult be forced into playing pretend.   That also means that your father may escort you down the aisle but he's seated next to his wife at the ceremony and he escorts her out of it. 

holyguacamole79

I can't think of any weddings I've been to recently where parents were introduced at the reception.  I think most people know who they are (or can easily guess).

If you must do an intro, then you should have your father with his new wife.

thisismynickname2

Our parents were introduced into the reception prior to the bridal party. We were last, of course. 
So what about,
"Parents of the Groom, Mr. and Mrs TheirLastName..."
"Father of the Bride, Mr. HisLastname, and Mrs. NewWifeName."
"Mother of the Bride, Ms. HerLastname."
(In whatever order you want.)

If she doesn't want to walk alone, maybe walk with a sibling or whoever her date is. 

ShesSoCold

thisismynickname said:

Our parents were introduced into the reception prior to the bridal party. We were last, of course. 
So what about,
"Parents of the Groom, Mr. and Mrs TheirLastName..."
"Father of the Bride, Mr. HisLastname, and Mrs. NewWifeName."
"Mother of the Bride, Ms. HerLastname."
(In whatever order you want.)

If she doesn't want to walk alone, maybe walk with a sibling or whoever her date is. 

This. Exactly this.

My dad isn't remarried and at the time of my brother's wedding, my grandma was the only living grandparent on his side of the family. So my dad escorted my grandma during intros so they wouldn't be walking alone.

OliveOilsMom

Ditto PP.  The other alternative, is that the parents are already in the reception hall at their tables.  The DJ can announce their names and they can briefly stand up.  But your father still should be introduced with his wife and not your mother.  Your father and mother are no longer a social unit, so they should not be introduced together. 

JediElizabeth

Agree with PPs.

I'd just add: you're inviting everyone to celebrate your relationship with your FI, and (as we tell people regarding inviting SO's), you should respect their relationships at the same time. By introducing your father without his current wife (whether with or separate from your mother), you would be disrespecting his relationship, and sending a clear signal to his wife that she's not really welcome as a part of your extended family.

Whether or not you have a relationship with her now, you'll be sabotaging any future relationship with her (and probably causing issues between you and your father).

MesmrEwe

Simple solution - skip the intros - really!!!!  If I don't know the Bride/Groom's parents by that point in the day, it's time that could be better spent with you cutting the cake so your guests can have a slice, or eat their meal uninterrupted.

And - the PP are correct, your Dad's position is proper etiquette that your parents not be introduced together as they are no longer a social unit.  "Mom and her escort" and "Dad and his wife" and "MIL/FIL"..  But really, I'd skip the intros... 

climbingsingle

Your father is right. He should be introduced with his new wife. 

If you don't want your mother to walk alone, you can have her escorted by a relative or friend. 

Jen4948

I agree with PPs - and your father.

If you do introductions (which you can skip), introduce your father with his new wife.  If you want to be introduced as your husband's wife when you enter, then you owe every other husband and wife being introduced the same courtesy - even if they're your parents and stepmother.  It's okay if your mother is escorted by someone else - you would introduce them as a unit, just as you would with your father and his wife.

Or skip the intros.

ILoveBeachMusic

I'm on the side of skip the introduction of parents. I don't even like introducing the bridal party, but that is just me. I told my daughter that we (H and I) didn't want to be introduced since everyone already knew we are her parents!

jacques27

Honestly I would skip intros. I haven't been to a wedding in the last decade that had introduced the parents and at least five years since I've seen a bridal party introduction.  I didn't even realize those were still things people do.

If you must have them, I agree with everyone else - your dad is right.  How would you like it if at a party someone choose to introduce your fiance as "Bob and Cathy's son" and either outright ignored your existence or choose to refer to you as "John and Jill's daughter"? I'm guessing you wouldn't like to have your relationship to your (future) spouse diminished and not acknowledge your existence as a couple.

CMGragain

Why would the parents be introduced?  Aren't they going to be in the receiving line?
Who is hosting your wedding?

AddieCake

I've only been to 2 weddings where anyone was introduced, and I don't get the appeal. It's not a red carpet. Seems easier to just skip it, but if you want to do it, your dad and his wife should be introduced together.

crowsgirl15

I've never been to a wedding where the parents were introduced. If you do them, introduce them the way they would like to be introduced. If you don't want to do it the way he prefers, I would skip them.

banana468

CMGragain said:

Why would the parents be introduced?  Aren't they going to be in the receiving line?
Who is hosting your wedding?

At my own wedding,  the parent introductions were at the end of cocktail hour.   It went cocktail hour, parent entrances, BP entrances, bride and groom entrance, first dance.  

kvruns

I'm on team no intros, but then again we didn't do any grand entrance with the wedding party or anything, we just walked in ourselves and sat down nothing big. Our parents walked down the aisle and were listed in the program so I think everyone knew who they were. If you do have intros I agree with PPs that your father is introduced with his wife and not your mother.

climbingsingle

Every wedding I've attended, people were introduced into the dining room after cocktail hour. I'd say about 9 times out of 10, the parents were introduced along with the bridal party. It seems to be very common in my circle. 

SP29

We didn't introduce parents, but they were listed in the program.

We did do a BP introduction as they were seated for dinner.

OP- I agree with PP. If you are going to introduce parents, your dad and mom should not be introduced together.

flantastic

I skipped intros of parents, bridal party - in short, anyone but us - because I've gotten the impression that most people aren't comfortable with it, and very few people who don't already know would care. The comfort is the main issue, though - you shouldn't want anyone to feel awkward being introduced.

Your father would obviously be uncomfortable being introduced with your mother, and would rightfully like to be introduced with his new wife if it happens at all. Your choices are introduce father with wife, as in the above examples, or skip it.

Cookie Pusher

We did intros at our reception since most of the guests were coworkers and friends who didn't know our parents (most of DH's family hadn't met my mom either). Intros are common in my circle. I agree with PPs that your dad should be introduced with his wife if you're doing intros.

PrettyGirlLost

flantastic said:

I skipped intros of parents, bridal party - in short, anyone but us - because I've gotten the impression that most people aren't comfortable with it, and very few people who don't already know would care. The comfort is the main issue, though - you shouldn't want anyone to feel awkward being introduced.

Your father would obviously be uncomfortable being introduced with your mother, and would rightfully like to be introduced with his new wife if it happens at all. Your choices are introduce father with wife, as in the above examples, or skip it.

This.

We didn't do  parent or WP intros.  The DJ announced our arrival at the reception venue and the WP starting walking down the staircase into the main foyer of our venues, with us right behind.  We cut the cake, our parents formed a receiving line with DH and I, then our food stations opened.

As a guest, I personally don't really care who the parents are or who the WP is if I don't already know them, and if I know them, well then they don't need an "intro."  I just want the Bride and Groom to get their asses into the venue sop we can have dinner and start dancing!

strawberrybee9

We didn't do any intros at all. Just skip them. Your guests will figure out who's who if they haven't already.

monkeysip

Completely agree that you need to either introduce dad with his wife  OR skip intros (we skipped them).

My sister did intros and had my dad and his wife introduced, HOWEVER, the DJ announced them as "the mother and father of the bride", which peeved us a little since our mother couldn't be there (she's disabled and homebound).  My stepmom was a nice woman and all, but she shouldn't have been introduced as the bride's mother.

holyguacamole79

The only time I recall intros that weren't lame was when the groom made a "script" for the Dj to use that was like a wrestler announcement.  It was a mini-roast of the bridal party and was hilarious since they had no idea what was going to be said and they were laugoing walking in.   It wasn't anything bad ... just funny.   It also worked for them because of everyone's personalities.


I know our BP would've not been fans of intros, and my ILs would've HATED it,  so we never considered it. 

CMGragain

Traditionally parents meet the guests in the reception line, so there is no need for introductions.  If the parents are hosting the wedding, it is really odd to have a grand announcement, as if the guests didn't know who they are.  Remember, the HOSTS are inviting the guests, not the bride and groom.  This was never done traditionally, and I have never seen it done at the weddings I have attended.
If the parents are hosting the wedding, they MUST greet each guest personally, and thank them for coming.  The bride and groom need to do this, too.  This is why reception lines, if properly done, are so nice and efficient.

banana468

CMGragain said:

Traditionally parents meet the guests in the reception line, so there is no need for introductions.  If the parents are hosting the wedding, it is really odd to have a grand announcement, as if the guests didn't know who they are.  Remember, the HOSTS are inviting the guests, not the bride and groom.  This was never done traditionally, and I have never seen it done at the weddings I have attended.
If the parents are hosting the wedding, they MUST greet each guest personally, and thank them for coming.  The bride and groom need to do this, too.  This is why reception lines, if properly done, are so nice and efficient.

Receiving lines are often done at the end of the ceremony.   I have never attended a wedding with a receiving line at the reception.   Table visits are done at the reception.  

We had our receiving line at the church.  

InLoveInQueens

climbingwife said:

Every wedding I've attended, people were introduced into the dining room after cocktail hour. I'd say about 9 times out of 10, the parents were introduced along with the bridal party. It seems to be very common in my circle. 

I absolutely agree with you, growing up/living in the same area, but I can't help but think of bar/bat mitzvahs whenever I witness people being introduced. Though that's probably because the ones I've seen have always had at least one person awkwardly try and dance their way in.

MandyMost

Intros are very popular in my circle. Most weddings have them--usually the parents/immediate family, bridal party, and the new couple. Sometimes they have specific songs for specific groups, or god forbid, even for each person to be introduced to.  

We didn't introduce anyone. I think it's a waste of time and no one enjoys it (neither the the people getting introduced, or the guests watching). No one seemed to miss it at our wedding!