Hello all-I have a question that I need some serious input on, as I feel one way but my dad feels the opposite.
I am getting married in August. My parents were divorced 2 years ago but are amicable. My dad remarried about 4 months ago. I do not have any sort of relationship with his new wife. My dad is insisted on being introduced with his new wife, instead of my mom, as I would like. I want it to be plain and simple, introduced as "Parents of the bride" using their first names only, no last name. Unfortunately there is not an option of just skipping the intros because FI's parents are still married and would like to be introduced. Please help!
Re: Recpetion intros- brides parents divorced, dad remarried.
You don't have to do introductions. Just because your FILs are married doesn't mean they need to be introduced. The way I see it is you have them options; introduce your mother (escorted by whomever she likes, or on her own), your father and his wife, and your FIs parents; or two do no parent intros. We skipped them and just had the DJ introduce us.
Just because you don't have a relationship with your Dad's wife doesn't mean you don't have to respect their relationship.
If you do the intros, I agree with your dad. It'd be weird for him to be introduced with his ex. The scenario you suggested could make it seem like they're still married, especially to someone who doesn't know them. You don't have to introduce her as a "parent of the bride," but I think if you're introducing her husband, she should be too. Maybe introduce your mom as MOB and your dad as FOB, with his wife, (insert her name here).
Or you just don't do introductions at all. At no time should any adult be forced into playing pretend. That also means that your father may escort you down the aisle but he's seated next to his wife at the ceremony and he escorts her out of it.
If you must do an intro, then you should have your father with his new wife.
So what about,
"Parents of the Groom, Mr. and Mrs TheirLastName..."
"Father of the Bride, Mr. HisLastname, and Mrs. NewWifeName."
"Mother of the Bride, Ms. HerLastname."
(In whatever order you want.)
If she doesn't want to walk alone, maybe walk with a sibling or whoever her date is.
This. Exactly this.
My dad isn't remarried and at the time of my brother's wedding, my grandma was the only living grandparent on his side of the family. So my dad escorted my grandma during intros so they wouldn't be walking alone.
I'd just add: you're inviting everyone to celebrate your relationship with your FI, and (as we tell people regarding inviting SO's), you should respect their relationships at the same time. By introducing your father without his current wife (whether with or separate from your mother), you would be disrespecting his relationship, and sending a clear signal to his wife that she's not really welcome as a part of your extended family.
Whether or not you have a relationship with her now, you'll be sabotaging any future relationship with her (and probably causing issues between you and your father).
Simple solution - skip the intros - really!!!! If I don't know the Bride/Groom's parents by that point in the day, it's time that could be better spent with you cutting the cake so your guests can have a slice, or eat their meal uninterrupted.
And - the PP are correct, your Dad's position is proper etiquette that your parents not be introduced together as they are no longer a social unit. "Mom and her escort" and "Dad and his wife" and "MIL/FIL".. But really, I'd skip the intros...
If you don't want your mother to walk alone, you can have her escorted by a relative or friend.
If you do introductions (which you can skip), introduce your father with his new wife. If you want to be introduced as your husband's wife when you enter, then you owe every other husband and wife being introduced the same courtesy - even if they're your parents and stepmother. It's okay if your mother is escorted by someone else - you would introduce them as a unit, just as you would with your father and his wife.
Or skip the intros.
If you must have them, I agree with everyone else - your dad is right. How would you like it if at a party someone choose to introduce your fiance as "Bob and Cathy's son" and either outright ignored your existence or choose to refer to you as "John and Jill's daughter"? I'm guessing you wouldn't like to have your relationship to your (future) spouse diminished and not acknowledge your existence as a couple.
Who is hosting your wedding?
We did do a BP introduction as they were seated for dinner.
OP- I agree with PP. If you are going to introduce parents, your dad and mom should not be introduced together.
Your father would obviously be uncomfortable being introduced with your mother, and would rightfully like to be introduced with his new wife if it happens at all. Your choices are introduce father with wife, as in the above examples, or skip it.
We didn't do parent or WP intros. The DJ announced our arrival at the reception venue and the WP starting walking down the staircase into the main foyer of our venues, with us right behind. We cut the cake, our parents formed a receiving line with DH and I, then our food stations opened.
As a guest, I personally don't really care who the parents are or who the WP is if I don't already know them, and if I know them, well then they don't need an "intro." I just want the Bride and Groom to get their asses into the venue sop we can have dinner and start dancing!
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
My sister did intros and had my dad and his wife introduced, HOWEVER, the DJ announced them as "the mother and father of the bride", which peeved us a little since our mother couldn't be there (she's disabled and homebound). My stepmom was a nice woman and all, but she shouldn't have been introduced as the bride's mother.
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I know our BP would've not been fans of intros, and my ILs would've HATED it, so we never considered it.
If the parents are hosting the wedding, they MUST greet each guest personally, and thank them for coming. The bride and groom need to do this, too. This is why reception lines, if properly done, are so nice and efficient.
We had our receiving line at the church.
We didn't introduce anyone. I think it's a waste of time and no one enjoys it (neither the the people getting introduced, or the guests watching). No one seemed to miss it at our wedding!