Registering and Gifts

Honeyfund done right?

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Re: Honeyfund done right?

  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    Why don't you just not register? Then you will get money that you can spend on honeymoon or on these gifts you want. Then you also don't have to worry about the gifts page on your site. IF someone asks what to get you say "we aren't registered but we are saving for honeymoon extras". 

    Seriously, why are you making more work for yourself when it is just so much easier to do nothing? 

    Also, I'm younger than 30. Honey funds are tacky AF
    DrillSergeantCatInLoveInQueensOurWildKingdomernursej
  • atomicblondeatomicblonde The Shire
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
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    When I've gifted through Traveler's Joy and Honeyfund in the past the service fee seemed reasonable to me if I looked at it as the convenience of processing the money electronically, which from my knowledge is comparable to other electronic transfer fees. As someone who can't directly deposit cash easily (USAA) I am already charged a fee when I convert cash to electronic. Therefore I am willing to lose a small percentage for having the money gifted to me electronically. When I see someone with a Traveler's Joy or Honeyfund registry I assume that they are willing to take the service fee loss for the convenience of having it show up directly in their bank account.
    For 3% of the deposit you wish to make, I can tell you how to avoid these fees.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
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    OurWildKingdomInLoveInQueensThisShamanluvsaMagesparklepants41
  • Count me in as someone who thought they were actually purchasing an excursion when in reality it's just a check less the fees. 

    But no honeyfund does not make it clear and prominent this is what they are doing, it's in the fine print or FAQs. They want people to believe they are gifting these excursions, not taking a percentage and giving the cash to the couple. 
    InLoveInQueensernursejThisShamanluvsaMage
  • No one would ever think it was great to pay for 4 plates at a store registry and the bride and groom get 3. I don't understand why it is acceptable to do with honeymoon registries. If the registry didn't take a cut and the actual event/item/experience/meal was gifted to the couple, I might be ok. Unfortunately, it is not so honeyfunds will never get my money.
    ThisShamanluvsaMageSP29InLoveInQueenscharlotte989875
  • There is no such thing as a "honeyfund done right".  Do not ask for money.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    OurWildKingdomDrillSergeantCat
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
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    You don't need a honeymoon registry to get cash for your honeymoon. Just take any cash you get and put it toward your honeymoon. Done.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    OurWildKingdomCMGragainInLoveInQueensDrillSergeantCat
  • Don't do a honeyfund, they are always rude.

    Story for context: The last wedding I worked (for a friend, which is why I know these details, lol) the bride had a guest list of 120-ish people. She had a relatively large, regular registry at two stores. She did not have a honeyfund, nor mention on her wedding website that she would prefer cash. She did not tell anyone via word of mouth that she was saving for a honeymoon/house/car (all of which would have been fine and etiquette appropriate).

    She still received mostly cash and checks, the total of which was in the 10s of thousands. And remember, that's with a large registry.

    People will give you cash for your wedding. You do not need to request it. You do not need to have a website facilitate it. You do not need to tell anyone you want it. People know cash is a great gift, and they will give it to you. Just have a small registry, and you'll be fine.


    OurWildKingdomSP29InLoveInQueens
  • My husband and I used Travelers Joy because we have a lot of what we already need, and we're moving across the state so we didn't want to add to our hauling load. Traveler's Joy helped with the registry, gave us some other couple's registries that we could use for examples and inspiration (which was very helpful) and had an easy process for depositing our gifts after the wedding. 

     The only complaint I have is that it was pretty expensive.  You can choose to have them collect the processing fees from guests, (I hope no one would ever do that!) guests and the overall gift or just from your overall gift. The amount ended up being about 5%. We opted to have them collect from our gift, so we thought that our guests wouldn't see any fees.  But it turns out our guests still had to pay a .99 per transaction fee and an additional $5.90 per card if they wanted to have one mailed to us saying what honeymoon gift they had purchased. Many of our guests opted not to send the card and so we were just notified of their gifts via the automated email.

     Overall, I would probably compare pricing between this and some of the other honeymoon funding sites, but the end experience with Traveler's Joy wasn't bad at all!

  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
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    Ironring said:

    My husband and I used Travelers Joy because we have a lot of what we already need, and we're moving across the state so we didn't want to add to our hauling load. Traveler's Joy helped with the registry, gave us some other couple's registries that we could use for examples and inspiration (which was very helpful) and had an easy process for depositing our gifts after the wedding. 

     The only complaint I have is that it was pretty expensive.  You can choose to have them collect the processing fees from guests, (I hope no one would ever do that!) guests and the overall gift or just from your overall gift. The amount ended up being about 5%. We opted to have them collect from our gift, so we thought that our guests wouldn't see any fees.  But it turns out our guests still had to pay a .99 per transaction fee and an additional $5.90 per card if they wanted to have one mailed to us saying what honeymoon gift they had purchased. Many of our guests opted not to send the card and so we were just notified of their gifts via the automated email.

     Overall, I would probably compare pricing between this and some of the other honeymoon funding sites, but the end experience with Traveler's Joy wasn't bad at all!

    Wait, guests had to pay nearly an extra $7 plus the 5% processing fee on your end and you're still giving them a good review? I'm so confused. 
    It's either a joke or this knottie #s works for them.
    ernursejSTARMOON44
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    edited October 2016
    The only "convenience" of honeyfunds is for whatever company is running them. Not the couple's and not the guests'. The couple doesn't receive whatever "special experience" or whatever the company is offering them - just a check for less than the guests donated.  

    In other words, honeyfunds are scams.

    Couples who want to receive cash as gifts don't need to register. And guests who want to give them cash can just write checks to them directly. There doesn't need to be a middleman company taking a fee for itself.
    InLoveInQueensSP29
  • edited November 2016
  • It also isn't tacky to contribute to a honey fund. It is tacky to have one because you are telling your guests how to spend their money.
    SP29
  • MCmeowMCmeow
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
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    edited November 2016
    Where are these people coming from? And do they think they're going to convince us that honeyfunds (and the like) are ok? I'm confused, and being new to the whole wedding thing, I don't know how anyone can begin to assume honeyfunds are fine once they know the details of them...

    Hi there, first of all, I know wedding planning is stressful, big hugs. Second, I don't think you need to give an explanation. I have contributed to experiences on 3 Zola registries now and loved doing it and loved hearing about the experience when the couple told me about it. You don't need to write some long disclaimer that you can pay for your honeymoon yourself and they are contributing to a cash fund etc etc. I would simply state: "Your presence at our wedding is gift enough. If you wish to give a gift these are some experiences we are saving up for" or "these are some experiences we are looking forward to in our future together" or don't give an explanation at all. Just "The happy couple is registered at: " on your website.  I thought this example zola couple also did a good job: https://www.zola.com/registry/elenaandgreg  though, again, I don't really think any explanation is needed and I'd say I do agree with the sentiment that if you say "Your presence is gift enough" but here's a bunch of stuff we want it seems a bit inauthentic.
    Maybe I'm a lazy millennial, but I pay for convenience all the time. Paying a $3 processing fee or whatever is way more appealing to me than figuring out where the heck my checks are (if I even have any, I pay rent online so can't remember the last time I wrote a check) or going to the ATM and then having to buy a card to put the money in, which is prob more expensive than that processing fee.  Maybe it's a regional thing as well as a generational thing. I live in the ***removed for personal info***, we are the birthplace of paying for digital convenience, we uber to work so I guess that's just how we roll here.

    On "etiquette": As a guest I preferred to gift experiences and never thought about it as tacky until I started doing research for my own wedding and found all these nasty comments. I prefer gifting experiences because I like contributing to something that will actually strengthen the couple's bond. I don't really see how some towels will do that. I'm pretty sure I paid the processing fees with Zola, but I can't remember, and like I said above, I wouldn't have cared. Again, I get that I could just give cash and give the couple $203 instead of $200, but like I said, convenience is something I'm willing to pay for/ basically the couple is losing $3 or so to give their guests convenience. Fine by me. I think I am now so used to the online registries that I'd be confused if the couple wasn't registered at all... Idk, my fiancé and I do not live together but we are both world travelers and definitely hold value over experiences rather than things so I'm considering not having a registry at all or having a super small one with a few things we do actually need. On the other hand, I really liked contributing to specific experiences through Zola as a guest and maybe my guests would like that too.

    Lastly, if you do do the honey fund, from what I have researched it looks like Newlywish and Zola have the lowest fees. However, Blueprint allows you to bring in registries you've already with the stores like Bloomingdales and REI and you can also create an "experiences" room for the honey fund. The processing fee per transaction is 40 cents cents higher than Newlywish and Zola, but with those sites you can't bring in other registries, you just select from items and brands offered on those sites. 

    I would really like to know the difference between Newlywish and Zola if anyone has experience with that.
    I know it's petty but this sentence bugged me. Our generation takes on burdens brought on by the last and since it's a steeper hill with the higher income inequality gap we're seen as lazy. I know I got too much out of this but blah, that generalization is pretty annoying to see everywhere. It's not cool to exploit the stereotype to promote such a bad idea.

    Also not cool to post some random couples registry. You've seen "nasty" comments about it but they all explain the same simple thing, processing fees for something as basic as cash is pointless and effed up.
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    cowgirl8238thespeshulestsnowflakeInLoveInQueensSP29
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    @KnotRiley a Knottie#s above posted a random person's registry information into her terrible advice above.  Can you edit out that information from the posts that have it?  Also isn't that against TOS?
  • KnotRileyKnotRiley New York, NY
    Moderator 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary
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    @KnotRiley a Knottie#s above posted a random person's registry information into her terrible advice above.  Can you edit out that information from the posts that have it?  Also isn't that against TOS?
    It looks like this is actually a featured couple on Zola: http://blog.zola.com/2015/08/02/zolacouple_an-adventurous-wedding-registry-zolacouple-elena-greg/ so this wouldn't violate TOS
  • edited November 2016
  • The Zola registry is an example registry they featured as part of their blog. They have several example couples/registries they feature. As for the other things, I'm not interested in arguing with and being insulted by people I don't know on the internet so I'll just leave it at that. Hope everyone has lovely weddings.

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    cowgirl8238InLoveInQueensMCmeowSP29
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