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Pregnant Bridesmaid Due 2 weeks before wedding

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Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid Due 2 weeks before wedding

  • Okay, but there's a difference (at least where I'm at) between birthing centers and home births. Birthing centers are regulated by the state health board, have trained medical professionals (nurses, NPs, and doctors) as well as doulas and midwifes; and have working agreements and MOUs with area hospitals. So it's not like there is no procure in place in the event of a medical emergency. 
    SP29
  • Okay, but there's a difference (at least where I'm at) between birthing centers and home births. Birthing centers are regulated by the state health board, have trained medical professionals (nurses, NPs, and doctors) as well as doulas and midwifes; and have working agreements and MOUs with area hospitals. So it's not like there is no procure in place in the event of a medical emergency. 
    A center can have all the procedures, clinicians, and contracts with actual hospitals they want, but it doesn't help someone who's already left. That's basically the whole point. 

    It's not debatable that there are a host of medical issues that can surface within 24 hours of a vaginal delivery that may not be present or detectable 3 hours after birth. Hence the nation-wide (and practiced by many other developed countries) best practice of 24.
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    ahoyweddingredwoodoriginalMesmrEwe
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    MobKaz said:
    MobKaz said:
    CMGragain said:
    I just want to say that I think it is wonderful how child birthing has progressed and changed over the years.  My daughter's experiences were really good (OK, not exactly FUN).  I have been very careful not to give her "old mother" advice, and she has done a great job with my grandsons.  Yay for the new generation of health care givers!
    I will say I did enjoy the "leisurely" 3 day stay we got "back in the day".  It helped tremendously in terms of feeling a bit more prepared, and allowed for extra learning time in regards to nursing.

    I am also glad I was not inundated with the current MULTITUDE of blogs, opinions, and google options that permeate every area of life.  The last thing I needed as a first time parent was a web page that made everything look either picture perfect or scary as all get out!  I also could not text/call friends and family infinitum since back them any and every call cost money.  I learned to trust my instincts and figure things out.


    Different strokes! Personally, I liked that I was able to go home quickly - only required to stay three hours post birth and we went home at about 3.5. This was at a birth center. I believe hospitals require 24 for a vaginal birth although sometimes you can get around it, from what I've heard. 

    Although, I think I would like the absence of mommy blogs! 
    That just seems reckless from a medical POV.  There are many childbirth issues that do not manifest immediately and could put the birth mom in some dire situations.  How could a new parent even begin to receive post partum care, newborn care, nursing assistance, etc. 
    there's so much needless judgment around mothering- perhaps don't tell someone her choices around childbirth that she made in consultation with her healthcare providers were reckless. 
    I do think there's a line here though... There's a reason medical advances and clinical best practices (like LOS post birth) have decreased maternal and infant mortality rates. If we applied the "I do whatever I want" perspective to everything, it'd be totally cool if people didn't want to vaccinate or if they decided to treat their child's illness with basil and salt crystals instead of a life-saving medication, and then their child died. But no one should ever judge for anything, right? 

    I totally agree with you that there's a lot of unnecessary judgement behind SOME parenting decisions (like whether or not to breastfeed, to do CIO, co-sleep, etc.), but there are some things that are backed up by clinical evidence and patient outcomes which support certain best practices (like vaccinations, LOS, etc.).
    I have no idea what the LOS acronym means. 

    I don't mean to be insulting, but it sounds to me like you (@mobkaz and @southernbell0915) are not very familiar with out-of-hospital births. I had a team of medical professionals talking to me about my decisions regarding the birth of my daughter. I trusted them completely. Out-of-hospital deliveries by midwives are governed by state laws. There are many things they could do (as in, they are trained to do it) that they legally can't in an out-of-hospital setting. They can't deliver high-risk pregnancies. If you develop preeclampsia or have unmanaged gestational diabetes or go into labor before 37 weeks, you are transferred to hospital care. I feel that I received excellent postpartum care. They told me to call if x, y or z happened. I received a visit in my home 24 hours later where they checked both of us. I don't feel that I needed a ton of teaching on caring for a newborn. Feed them, keep the stump dry, change their diaper, keep them warm enough. We had to check her temp and her heart rate every hour or two and make sure she had at least one pee and poop for the first 24. It's not rocket science! Yes, breastfeeding was awful for me, but not due to the care I received. She's just a bad nurser. They gave me a lot of tips, I used a nipple shield, we got a lip tie snipped, I tried everything. Some babies are just bad nursers. And to be clear, I was required to stay a minimum of three hours. If they or I felt I needed to stay longer, I would have. 

    Particularly for low risk pregnancies, I don't believe hospitals and doctors always have the best interests of women at heart, and I only have to look at our national c-section rates to see that. The World Health Organization says that c-section rates above 10% do not improve maternal and infant health mortality rates, yet according to the CDC, the US rate is 32%. That tells me more than 20% of women giving birth are having medically unnecessary surgery performed on them. 

    I don't think we will ever agree on this because it sounds like we have fundamentally different views on childbirth. I believe that pregnancy and birth is a fundamentally healthy process. Yes, things go wrong and require medical interventions, but at its core, it's healthy and should not be treated as a medical issue from the outset. 

    @starmoon44, thank you. 

    charlotte989875STARMOON44SP29
  • MobKaz said:
    MobKaz said:
    CMGragain said:
    I just want to say that I think it is wonderful how child birthing has progressed and changed over the years.  My daughter's experiences were really good (OK, not exactly FUN).  I have been very careful not to give her "old mother" advice, and she has done a great job with my grandsons.  Yay for the new generation of health care givers!
    I will say I did enjoy the "leisurely" 3 day stay we got "back in the day".  It helped tremendously in terms of feeling a bit more prepared, and allowed for extra learning time in regards to nursing.

    I am also glad I was not inundated with the current MULTITUDE of blogs, opinions, and google options that permeate every area of life.  The last thing I needed as a first time parent was a web page that made everything look either picture perfect or scary as all get out!  I also could not text/call friends and family infinitum since back them any and every call cost money.  I learned to trust my instincts and figure things out.


    Different strokes! Personally, I liked that I was able to go home quickly - only required to stay three hours post birth and we went home at about 3.5. This was at a birth center. I believe hospitals require 24 for a vaginal birth although sometimes you can get around it, from what I've heard. 

    Although, I think I would like the absence of mommy blogs! 
    That just seems reckless from a medical POV.  There are many childbirth issues that do not manifest immediately and could put the birth mom in some dire situations.  How could a new parent even begin to receive post partum care, newborn care, nursing assistance, etc. 
    My hospital was mandatory 72 hours because it caters to high risk pregnancies and births and I was ready to boot out after 24 hours. However, we have public health nurses that visit after the baby is born to make sure everything is good, and if need be they make several visits. Lactation consultants do home visits as do midwives.
  • MobKaz said:
    MobKaz said:
    CMGragain said:
    I just want to say that I think it is wonderful how child birthing has progressed and changed over the years.  My daughter's experiences were really good (OK, not exactly FUN).  I have been very careful not to give her "old mother" advice, and she has done a great job with my grandsons.  Yay for the new generation of health care givers!
    I will say I did enjoy the "leisurely" 3 day stay we got "back in the day".  It helped tremendously in terms of feeling a bit more prepared, and allowed for extra learning time in regards to nursing.

    I am also glad I was not inundated with the current MULTITUDE of blogs, opinions, and google options that permeate every area of life.  The last thing I needed as a first time parent was a web page that made everything look either picture perfect or scary as all get out!  I also could not text/call friends and family infinitum since back them any and every call cost money.  I learned to trust my instincts and figure things out.


    Different strokes! Personally, I liked that I was able to go home quickly - only required to stay three hours post birth and we went home at about 3.5. This was at a birth center. I believe hospitals require 24 for a vaginal birth although sometimes you can get around it, from what I've heard. 

    Although, I think I would like the absence of mommy blogs! 
    That just seems reckless from a medical POV.  There are many childbirth issues that do not manifest immediately and could put the birth mom in some dire situations.  How could a new parent even begin to receive post partum care, newborn care, nursing assistance, etc. 
    there's so much needless judgment around mothering- perhaps don't tell someone her choices around childbirth that she made in consultation with her healthcare providers were reckless. 
    I do think there's a line here though... There's a reason medical advances and clinical best practices (like LOS post birth) have decreased maternal and infant mortality rates. If we applied the "I do whatever I want" perspective to everything, it'd be totally cool if people didn't want to vaccinate or if they decided to treat their child's illness with basil and salt crystals instead of a life-saving medication, and then their child died. But no one should ever judge for anything, right? 

    I totally agree with you that there's a lot of unnecessary judgement behind SOME parenting decisions (like whether or not to breastfeed, to do CIO, co-sleep, etc.), but there are some things that are backed up by clinical evidence and patient outcomes which support certain best practices (like vaccinations, LOS, etc.).
    No, specifically, Im saying don't call @lovesclimbing reckless for how long she chose to say in a medical facility after giving birth. Completely unnecessary. 
    charlotte989875lovesclimbing
  • MobKaz said:
    MobKaz said:
    CMGragain said:
    I just want to say that I think it is wonderful how child birthing has progressed and changed over the years.  My daughter's experiences were really good (OK, not exactly FUN).  I have been very careful not to give her "old mother" advice, and she has done a great job with my grandsons.  Yay for the new generation of health care givers!
    I will say I did enjoy the "leisurely" 3 day stay we got "back in the day".  It helped tremendously in terms of feeling a bit more prepared, and allowed for extra learning time in regards to nursing.

    I am also glad I was not inundated with the current MULTITUDE of blogs, opinions, and google options that permeate every area of life.  The last thing I needed as a first time parent was a web page that made everything look either picture perfect or scary as all get out!  I also could not text/call friends and family infinitum since back them any and every call cost money.  I learned to trust my instincts and figure things out.


    Different strokes! Personally, I liked that I was able to go home quickly - only required to stay three hours post birth and we went home at about 3.5. This was at a birth center. I believe hospitals require 24 for a vaginal birth although sometimes you can get around it, from what I've heard. 

    Although, I think I would like the absence of mommy blogs! 
    That just seems reckless from a medical POV.  There are many childbirth issues that do not manifest immediately and could put the birth mom in some dire situations.  How could a new parent even begin to receive post partum care, newborn care, nursing assistance, etc. 
    there's so much needless judgment around mothering- perhaps don't tell someone her choices around childbirth that she made in consultation with her healthcare providers were reckless. 
    I do think there's a line here though... There's a reason medical advances and clinical best practices (like LOS post birth) have decreased maternal and infant mortality rates. If we applied the "I do whatever I want" perspective to everything, it'd be totally cool if people didn't want to vaccinate or if they decided to treat their child's illness with basil and salt crystals instead of a life-saving medication, and then their child died. But no one should ever judge for anything, right? 

    I totally agree with you that there's a lot of unnecessary judgement behind SOME parenting decisions (like whether or not to breastfeed, to do CIO, co-sleep, etc.), but there are some things that are backed up by clinical evidence and patient outcomes which support certain best practices (like vaccinations, LOS, etc.).
    No, specifically, Im saying don't call @lovesclimbing reckless for how long she chose to say in a medical facility after giving birth. Completely unnecessary. 
    I can't say for sure, but I didn't interpret @MobKaz's statement as saying lovesclimbing was reckless - she said "reckless from a from a medical POV", which leads me to believe the adjective was describing medical policy - not the patient.
    *********************************************************************************

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    MobKazInLoveInQueensJediElizabeth
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    5000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    MobKaz said:
    MobKaz said:
    CMGragain said:
    I just want to say that I think it is wonderful how child birthing has progressed and changed over the years.  My daughter's experiences were really good (OK, not exactly FUN).  I have been very careful not to give her "old mother" advice, and she has done a great job with my grandsons.  Yay for the new generation of health care givers!
    I will say I did enjoy the "leisurely" 3 day stay we got "back in the day".  It helped tremendously in terms of feeling a bit more prepared, and allowed for extra learning time in regards to nursing.

    I am also glad I was not inundated with the current MULTITUDE of blogs, opinions, and google options that permeate every area of life.  The last thing I needed as a first time parent was a web page that made everything look either picture perfect or scary as all get out!  I also could not text/call friends and family infinitum since back them any and every call cost money.  I learned to trust my instincts and figure things out.


    Different strokes! Personally, I liked that I was able to go home quickly - only required to stay three hours post birth and we went home at about 3.5. This was at a birth center. I believe hospitals require 24 for a vaginal birth although sometimes you can get around it, from what I've heard. 

    Although, I think I would like the absence of mommy blogs! 
    That just seems reckless from a medical POV.  There are many childbirth issues that do not manifest immediately and could put the birth mom in some dire situations.  How could a new parent even begin to receive post partum care, newborn care, nursing assistance, etc. 
    there's so much needless judgment around mothering- perhaps don't tell someone her choices around childbirth that she made in consultation with her healthcare providers were reckless. 
    That judgment was not intended for the mother.  It is reckless from the MEDICAL POV for service providers to be so cavalier toward what I find to be an extremely premature exit for both the mother and newborn. 
    InLoveInQueens
  • MobKaz said:
    MobKaz said:
    MobKaz said:
    CMGragain said:
    I just want to say that I think it is wonderful how child birthing has progressed and changed over the years.  My daughter's experiences were really good (OK, not exactly FUN).  I have been very careful not to give her "old mother" advice, and she has done a great job with my grandsons.  Yay for the new generation of health care givers!
    I will say I did enjoy the "leisurely" 3 day stay we got "back in the day".  It helped tremendously in terms of feeling a bit more prepared, and allowed for extra learning time in regards to nursing.

    I am also glad I was not inundated with the current MULTITUDE of blogs, opinions, and google options that permeate every area of life.  The last thing I needed as a first time parent was a web page that made everything look either picture perfect or scary as all get out!  I also could not text/call friends and family infinitum since back them any and every call cost money.  I learned to trust my instincts and figure things out.


    Different strokes! Personally, I liked that I was able to go home quickly - only required to stay three hours post birth and we went home at about 3.5. This was at a birth center. I believe hospitals require 24 for a vaginal birth although sometimes you can get around it, from what I've heard. 

    Although, I think I would like the absence of mommy blogs! 
    That just seems reckless from a medical POV.  There are many childbirth issues that do not manifest immediately and could put the birth mom in some dire situations.  How could a new parent even begin to receive post partum care, newborn care, nursing assistance, etc. 
    there's so much needless judgment around mothering- perhaps don't tell someone her choices around childbirth that she made in consultation with her healthcare providers were reckless. 
    That judgment was not intended for the mother.  It is reckless from the MEDICAL POV for service providers to be so cavalier toward what I find to be an extremely premature exit for both the mother and newborn. 
    You made that comment right after she said that is what she did and it worked for her. That's rude and judgmental and unnecessary. You aren't her doctor. You don't know it was extremely premature, and no one asked you. 
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    My birth center is highly respected and sought after in our area. They have excellent statistics on complications, number of hospital transfers, and post birth complications (I've seen them, but don't remember the numbers so I can't quote). 

    These are trained and certified nurse-midwives, and I trust their recommendations and the policies they have in place.

    They also do home births!   :o :o :o (/sarcasm)

    ernursejSTARMOON44
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    5000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    edited September 7
    MobKaz said:
    MobKaz said:
    MobKaz said:
    CMGragain said:
    I just want to say that I think it is wonderful how child birthing has progressed and changed over the years.  My daughter's experiences were really good (OK, not exactly FUN).  I have been very careful not to give her "old mother" advice, and she has done a great job with my grandsons.  Yay for the new generation of health care givers!
    I will say I did enjoy the "leisurely" 3 day stay we got "back in the day".  It helped tremendously in terms of feeling a bit more prepared, and allowed for extra learning time in regards to nursing.

    I am also glad I was not inundated with the current MULTITUDE of blogs, opinions, and google options that permeate every area of life.  The last thing I needed as a first time parent was a web page that made everything look either picture perfect or scary as all get out!  I also could not text/call friends and family infinitum since back them any and every call cost money.  I learned to trust my instincts and figure things out.


    Different strokes! Personally, I liked that I was able to go home quickly - only required to stay three hours post birth and we went home at about 3.5. This was at a birth center. I believe hospitals require 24 for a vaginal birth although sometimes you can get around it, from what I've heard. 

    Although, I think I would like the absence of mommy blogs! 
    That just seems reckless from a medical POV.  There are many childbirth issues that do not manifest immediately and could put the birth mom in some dire situations.  How could a new parent even begin to receive post partum care, newborn care, nursing assistance, etc. 
    there's so much needless judgment around mothering- perhaps don't tell someone her choices around childbirth that she made in consultation with her healthcare providers were reckless. 
    That judgment was not intended for the mother.  It is reckless from the MEDICAL POV for service providers to be so cavalier toward what I find to be an extremely premature exit for both the mother and newborn. 
    You made that comment right after she said that is what she did and it worked for her. That's rude and judgmental and unnecessary. You aren't her doctor. You don't know it was extremely premature, and no one asked you. 
    Nope.  Bullshit.  I own my words.  That is exactly what I meant and I cannot help that you read my words from a defensive POV. 

    I am glad it worked for her.  But at face value, with NO OTHER INFORMATION KNOWN or given, I find that reckless of the medical team to discharge after three hours.  Too much can happen.

    I didn't realize I needed permission to offer my opinion on a post. 

    ahoywedding
  • MobKaz said:
    MobKaz said:
    CMGragain said:
    I just want to say that I think it is wonderful how child birthing has progressed and changed over the years.  My daughter's experiences were really good (OK, not exactly FUN).  I have been very careful not to give her "old mother" advice, and she has done a great job with my grandsons.  Yay for the new generation of health care givers!
    I will say I did enjoy the "leisurely" 3 day stay we got "back in the day".  It helped tremendously in terms of feeling a bit more prepared, and allowed for extra learning time in regards to nursing.

    I am also glad I was not inundated with the current MULTITUDE of blogs, opinions, and google options that permeate every area of life.  The last thing I needed as a first time parent was a web page that made everything look either picture perfect or scary as all get out!  I also could not text/call friends and family infinitum since back them any and every call cost money.  I learned to trust my instincts and figure things out.


    Different strokes! Personally, I liked that I was able to go home quickly - only required to stay three hours post birth and we went home at about 3.5. This was at a birth center. I believe hospitals require 24 for a vaginal birth although sometimes you can get around it, from what I've heard. 

    Although, I think I would like the absence of mommy blogs! 
    That just seems reckless from a medical POV.  There are many childbirth issues that do not manifest immediately and could put the birth mom in some dire situations.  How could a new parent even begin to receive post partum care, newborn care, nursing assistance, etc. 

    With how post partum care is delivered from midwives, going home after 3.5hours doesn't concern me at all. Hospital acquired infections are on the rise and medicine is shifting the view of childbirth to one that sees it as more natural and less medicalized.
    lovesclimbingSTARMOON44
  • STARMOON44STARMOON44
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    edited September 8
    MobKaz said:
    MobKaz said:
    MobKaz said:
    MobKaz said:
    CMGragain said:
    I just want to say that I think it is wonderful how child birthing has progressed and changed over the years.  My daughter's experiences were really good (OK, not exactly FUN).  I have been very careful not to give her "old mother" advice, and she has done a great job with my grandsons.  Yay for the new generation of health care givers!
    I will say I did enjoy the "leisurely" 3 day stay we got "back in the day".  It helped tremendously in terms of feeling a bit more prepared, and allowed for extra learning time in regards to nursing.

    I am also glad I was not inundated with the current MULTITUDE of blogs, opinions, and google options that permeate every area of life.  The last thing I needed as a first time parent was a web page that made everything look either picture perfect or scary as all get out!  I also could not text/call friends and family infinitum since back them any and every call cost money.  I learned to trust my instincts and figure things out.


    Different strokes! Personally, I liked that I was able to go home quickly - only required to stay three hours post birth and we went home at about 3.5. This was at a birth center. I believe hospitals require 24 for a vaginal birth although sometimes you can get around it, from what I've heard. 

    Although, I think I would like the absence of mommy blogs! 
    That just seems reckless from a medical POV.  There are many childbirth issues that do not manifest immediately and could put the birth mom in some dire situations.  How could a new parent even begin to receive post partum care, newborn care, nursing assistance, etc. 
    there's so much needless judgment around mothering- perhaps don't tell someone her choices around childbirth that she made in consultation with her healthcare providers were reckless. 
    That judgment was not intended for the mother.  It is reckless from the MEDICAL POV for service providers to be so cavalier toward what I find to be an extremely premature exit for both the mother and newborn. 
    You made that comment right after she said that is what she did and it worked for her. That's rude and judgmental and unnecessary. You aren't her doctor. You don't know it was extremely premature, and no one asked you. 
    Nope.  Bullshit.  I own my words.  That is exactly what I meant and I cannot help that you read my words from a defensive POV. 

    I am glad it worked for her.  But at face value, with NO OTHER INFORMATION KNOWN or given, I find that reckless of the medical team to discharge after three hours.  Too much can happen.

    I didn't realize I needed permission to offer my opinion on a post. 

    Oh you don't! I just Think you're being rude. Own it allyou want. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Margaritas, anyone?
    MesmrEwebanana468downtondiva
  • All I can say is if they'd have let me stay 5 days PP I'd have taken them up on the offer with BOTH kids!  With my first I had a REALLY rough delivery with tons of bleeding and anemia to the point I wasn't coherent (a family friend who was the head of the ER happened to stop by and said to the effect "you nitwits - something isn't right here - run labs!" to which they found the anemia)...   Especially for Moms who are BF/pumping they NEED that OPTION to stay and get things established.  While some want a short LOS, some NEED that additional time to get ambulatory.  A former knottie was shouting from the rafters "Something is wrong!" before they kicked her out of the hospital only to go to three or four ER's before one took her seriously - she could have DIED from a heart complication that should have easily been caught BEFORE she was discharged!

    @Jen4948 - this teetotaler is up for it LOL
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    MobKazTrixieJess
  • SP29SP29
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Very similar in Canada as well.

    Hospital stay of at least 24 hrs (I don't know all the regulations, but anyone I've known to deliver in hospital stays 1-3 days depending on vaginal vs. c-section).

    Birthing centre is home 3hrs later, if everything is OK. But when you go to a birthing centre, you continue to be followed by your midwife. Pretty much the same as a home birth (if something were to go wrong at the birthing centre, you would be transferred to hospital).

    I'm not clear on this in the US, but in Canada midwives are regulated health professionals. There was a study done by McMaster University in Canada that followed 11500 home births and the same number of hospital births in a 3 year period and for those with uncomplicated pregnancies, the risks were the same. Higher rates of episiotomy and C-sections with hospital births.

    I absolutely agree with you that individuals should not make all their own decisions regarding health care (i.e. vaccinations). But the comment about "recommended 24 hrs" keeps being brought up as best practice, and thus going home after 3 hrs (or staying home?!?!) is "reckless", but I don't think that is true. Is it a true recommendation based on a working group or consensus body (National Society for Obstetrics- or whatever, I made that one up), or is it just hospital policy?
    ernursejlovesclimbingMissKittyDanger
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