Military Brides

Deployment and save the dates...

So my fiance' is getting ready to deploy and will be home before our wedding, as of now. Without being too specific on here(with dates) I am just having problems as to when I should send them, he says I should wait until he gets the okay on the deployment dates. But as we all know nothing is certain in the military, just that nothing will be certain. We have out of state guests and it is during the holidays. Any military brides planning a holiday wedding that could give me some advice?

Re: Deployment and save the dates...

  • Epic07032011Epic07032011
    edited December 2011
    I'd say just send them out when you want to, and include a website that states somewhere fairly obvious that the military changes dates so they should stay tuned on the website. He'll never really get the final word on the *exact date* he returns.

    Then, the main part of your save the dates has your website, so you can change the date there if need be.

    And... make sure to get insurance and a military change-of-date clause with all your vendors.


  • edited December 2011
    Perhaps what you need is a informal STD? can you send just the OOT guests a postcard or something letting them know you PLAN to wed on XX/XX/XXX Date but with his military obligations things can chage?

    for us, we are getting married over Memorial Day weekend and although it still isn't a 100% he will be able to make it. I sent traditonal STD anyway just under the year mark (he has family out of the country that had to save up and I have family that also needed to save up) I did put our website and mentioned to check it for updates.
    Personally I think if you end up changing the date you are going to have to send out another formal announcement, I wouldn't rely on a website to tell people.

  • calindicalindi
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't schedule too closely to when he plans to return... return dates get pushed around a lot.  And you can wait to send the invitations until he has the leave approved, but you can send the STD's whenever.  I agree with the suggestion to put on the website that the date may change - also, if you haven't already, talk to your vendors about a military clause so you don't lose your deposit if you have to change the dates.



  • edited December 2011
    what branch of military is he in? my fiance's a marine, and luckily, his deployment wasn't like, over a year or anything. while the EXACT deployment/homecoming dates aren't revealed or clear, they do give pretty decent "around this date" info. i'd just trust your karma and peg on that. i sent my save the dates out back in october, which gave everyone, especially ALL of our out-of-towners at least a year to make necessary arrangements to be there.

    my suggestion would be to send them asap, and just continue planning accordingly. don't plan the wedding TOO close to his homecoming, but i'd say a 2-3 month window should suffice :).

    good luck, and congrats!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone! We've been together for three years, so I am not new to this. I know they wont be home when they say. But we are a month from when they are saying. The latest they have ever been was two weeks and sometimes they are weeks early. -I know right, EARLY!?-  He is in the Navy so he will be gone for about six months.
  • nvolltennvollten
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I second what Epic07032011 said, just make it clear that things could change. It is always difficult to plan ANYTHING when your sig. other is military. There are many vendors that are willing to accomodate you though. One I can think of off the top of my head is Enigma Photography. They are actually doing a $4000 giveaway for a military family, so that could help some couples.

     The important thing is dont set yourself up for failure, keep your options open.
  • edited December 2011
    Don't send save the dates! My DH is also in the Navy, and it's usually almost certain that the deployment will be extended in some form (at least from our experience with the last 3 deployments). We ended up having to change the date of the wedding because it was extended by almost 2 months. So happy and thankful we didn't send a save the date and have to send another one later.
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