Literature just died. (and maybe a game)

ZombieNates

You can "be your own Ana Steele" and this company will write you a romance novel personalized to your life/SO, etc.

 I am going to jump off a bridge now.

http://www.yournovel.com/


ETA: Pick a title for someone.

anna.oskar

This creeps me out.  It's one thing to have a personal fantasy life, another to have someone script it for you

Actually, you'd be surprised how many romance books have a character named Anna.  I can't read those.  It's too creepy.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

What in the fuckingfuck of motherfucking fcucks?

ZombieNates

Duds, you can get one for me. Whenever shiiit like this comes up, I feel like I HAVE to see how bad it really is.


But really, this makes my soul die.

Brandi0714

I want the one titled Vampire Rhapsody- eBook.

ZombieNates

You know what we should do? Pick a title for other knotties.

I pick Sandhills ForePlay for JCG.

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_literature-just-died?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4611f851-bf9e-4ffa-8c88-5c27e0aee491Post:05c6f000-7dd0-478a-b4b8-8b7f4745a691">Re: Literature just died.</a>:
[QUOTE]What in the fuckingfuck of motherfucking fcucks?
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]
This is the best reaction.

Can you imagine bringing this home to your H?  "Honey, I just got our personalized romance novel in the mail!"

I should send this to my mom.  She's all about the romance novels and my father thinks they're unmitigated dreck. 

dmiller9274

I think I'll order "African Safari: Wild Life, Wild Love"

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Lol Bay, pretty sure Ben would think I'd lost my ass in Vegas or something.

ZombieNates

I pick:

 Away on the Range for AATB

Season's Greetings, Season's Love for Anna

Holiday on Thames for KD.

kd.joseph

HA this is fabulous, I think I had one of these when I was 7-8 years old, you know when you order the childs name put in the adventure book. Yeah, this is the equivalent.

Dmill I love that title.

Mine, hmmm...Zombie Gnomes A Love Story!

baystateapple

The older woman obsession with Edward Cullen and Christian Gray skeeves me out.

We were having this discussion at lunch one time and my father pointed out that if it was older men screaming about scantily clad, barely legal girls, they would be dirty old men or pedophiles, but because it's older women in mom jeans screaming over shirtless Taylor Lautner, it's okay and they're "cougars".  Kind of creepy when you think about it.

kd.joseph

Nates- Boobs, A Love story!

maratea

I desperately want to have one of these sent to H for our anniversary. He would die.

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_literature-just-died?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:4611f851-bf9e-4ffa-8c88-5c27e0aee491Post:84d14f93-9fe9-4875-aa70-b2e892cd546c">Re: Literature just died.</a>:
[QUOTE]The older woman obsession with Edward Cullen and Christian Gray skeeves me out. We were having this discussion at lunch one time and my father pointed out that if it was older men screaming about scantily clad, barely legal girls, they would be dirty old men or pedophiles, but because it's older women in mom jeans screaming over shirtless Taylor Lautner, it's okay and they're "cougars".  Kind of creepy when you think about it.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

I have to agree with your dad. But, see I have a son that age, so thats why it creeps me out to drool over guys his age, yuck.

ZombieNates

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_literature-just-died?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4611f851-bf9e-4ffa-8c88-5c27e0aee491Post:84723e72-f5ff-454b-ba42-b1670857463e">Re: Literature just died. (and maybe a game)</a>:
[QUOTE]Nates- Boobs, A Love story!
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]
LOL.


"Motorboating: A Tale of Love, Lust, and Nipples."

AllAboutTheBenjamin

For real though, guys.  I keep seeing pictures of men that women want cast as Christian Grey in the 50 Shades movies all over FB and Pinterest.  They creep me out.  Like, a lot.

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_literature-just-died?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:4611f851-bf9e-4ffa-8c88-5c27e0aee491Post:89367635-ca3e-4fd4-b6d9-658bb5b58665">Re: Literature just died. (and maybe a game)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Literature just died. (and maybe a game) : LOL. "Motorboating: A Tale of Love, Lust, and Nipples."
Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]

This is an awesome title. I have no imagination.

celticmyss

Oh man, I looked at some of their excepts and they're are horrendous.

In a like gesture, she brought her arms around his body. "Likewise, I'm sure. Is that a porpoise in you pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?"
     "I'll be your porpoise any day. Will you go swimming with me in the sea of love?"

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_literature-just-died?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4611f851-bf9e-4ffa-8c88-5c27e0aee491Post:6cdc635d-36b0-43ae-bd5e-b47667e709c0">Re: Literature just died. (and maybe a game)</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh man, I looked at some of their excepts and they're are horrendous. In a like gesture, she brought her arms around his body. "Likewise, I'm sure. Is that a porpoise in you pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?"      "I'll be your porpoise any day. Will you go swimming with me in the sea of love?"
Posted by celticmyss[/QUOTE]
OMG.  NO.

What "writer" is responsible for this?!

Nebb

I sorta like that the older women who are so ga-ga over 50 shades and twilight are so vocal about it, makes it easier to know who to side eye and avoid.

[Deleted User]

The concept is kind of hilarious, but no way do I want someone writing love scenes about me or my H. Actually, one of H's friends wrote a book years back with H as one of the main characters, and he totally wrote him a sex scene with a girl he was seeing at the time. I still haven't read it, creeps me out.

My mom read 50 Shades and said if she was the main girl, she would have punched Christian Grey in the throat and kicked him in the nuts. Momma don't play that game.

ZombieNates

Once I explained to N what 50 Shades was about, he was so grossed whenever we'd see women reading it around the pool.

KD, N would probably love your title--it uses a palindrome

ZombieNates

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_literature-just-died?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4611f851-bf9e-4ffa-8c88-5c27e0aee491Post:6cdc635d-36b0-43ae-bd5e-b47667e709c0">Re: Literature just died. (and maybe a game)</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh man, I looked at some of their excepts and they're are horrendous. In a like gesture, she brought her arms around his body. "Likewise, I'm sure. Is that a porpoise in you pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?"      "I'll be your porpoise any day. Will you go swimming with me in the sea of love?"
Posted by celticmyss[/QUOTE]
YES. I am going to text N excerpts of this all day.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

LOL Sesh, if I were Ana Steele I'd have called the cops on Christian Grey.  Fucking stalker.

Then again I am glad I'm not Ana Steele, because she sounds like one of the dumbest broads on the face of the planet.

kd.joseph

 He then reached around, cupped one buttock and squeezed it. "My Little Mermaid."
     "Umm. 'Morning, dah-ling." She delivered the words in movie-star fashion and hugged him in return, repeating his gesture on him.
     "Wait," he said, "and I'll just slip this robe off so you can get a better handful

I think I just threw up a little bit. No one talks like this!

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_literature-just-died?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4611f851-bf9e-4ffa-8c88-5c27e0aee491Post:10235944-7d66-4ab0-a477-380e3e57e1ce">Re: Literature just died. (and maybe a game)</a>:
[QUOTE]The concept is kind of hilarious, but no way do I want someone writing love scenes about me or my H. A<strong>ctually, one of H's friends wrote a book years back with H as one of the main characters, and he totally wrote him a sex scene with a girl he was seeing at the time. I still haven't read it, creeps me out. </strong>My mom read 50 Shades and said if she was the main girl, she would have punched Christian Grey in the throat and kicked him in the nuts. Momma don't play that game.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]
Ew.  Who writes a love scene between people you KNOW?  That's just...icky.  While I acknowledge that my friends are having sex, I don't want to think about it in detail. 

Girlie1030

A porpoise?  Really?  My first thought is ouch. 

AllAboutTheBenjamin

LOL at "in movie star fashion."  Classic.

celticmyss

I think I would enjoy writing these for a living. I'd spend all day coming up with the most ridiculous, over the top lines and then just watch people lap it up. I'd be laughing all the way to the bank! 

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_literature-just-died?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:4611f851-bf9e-4ffa-8c88-5c27e0aee491Post:fe42e4ed-346a-4f2e-ad56-8d2c39917771">Re: Literature just died. (and maybe a game)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Literature just died. (and maybe a game) : Ew.  Who writes a love scene between people you KNOW?  That's just...icky.  While I acknowledge that my friends are having sex, I don't want to think about it in detail. 
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

Well, if you knew the guy, you wouldn't be surprised. I could tell so many stories, but I wouldn't do it on a public site. But overall, yeah. I couldn't write a sex scene with people I know. That being said, I'm morbidly curious and can't decide if I should read it or stay away.
I've never written a love scene. I'd alluded to one and written up to the point, but never the act. They always sound cheesy.