QOTD 4/30

MMRoberts11

What in your opinion is worse... having expectations that are too high, or having no expectations at all?

midgetthemighty

No expectations at all times infinity. 1000% sure. Totally the teacher in me talking.

peachykeen26

I would rather be surprised than disappointed. So, I think having to high of expectations is worse for me.

kelsey+brandon

Definitely no expectations at all. What's there to dream and work for if you can't expect anything from a situation, people, or yourself?

cwill6212

In Response to Re: QOTD 4/30:
[QUOTE]I would rather be surprised than disappointed. So, I think having to high of expectations is worse for me.
Posted by peachykeen26[/QUOTE]

Me too!

midgetthemighty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_qotd-430?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:76b74a22-4e13-442c-8fc8-67e415ae305ePost:7da30d97-45c0-420b-a4db-1b115585ac02">Re: QOTD 4/30</a>:
[QUOTE]Definitely no expectations at all. What's there to dream and work for if you can't expect anything from a situation, people, or yourself?
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]

EXACTLY!

MMRoberts11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_qotd-430?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:76b74a22-4e13-442c-8fc8-67e415ae305ePost:692b73f4-c77b-4a58-840b-4df719b214c7">Re: QOTD 4/30</a>:
[QUOTE]I would rather be surprised than disappointed. So, I think having to high of expectations is worse for me.
Posted by peachykeen26[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree.  As for people, I'd rather have no expectations, see what they can do, and then hold them to it than just set them too high.</div>

daria24

Expectations too high! I'd rather go to a movie and have no expectations that it will be good then walk into the theater thinking "OMG this is going to be the best movie ever" and then walk out thinking "wah wah wah." I prefer being pleasantly surprised to crushing disappointment.

peachykeen26

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_qotd-430?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:76b74a22-4e13-442c-8fc8-67e415ae305ePost:aaf866c3-3c5b-4ff7-8b44-9c03547b3411">Re: QOTD 4/30</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: QOTD 4/30 : I agree.  As for people, I'd rather have no expectations, see what they can do, and then hold them to it than just set them too high.
Posted by MMRoberts11[/QUOTE]

Yes. With people exactly.

But, I think with some things I set my expectations high, but I have learned to not expect much out of anyone. I am rarely surprised by anyone anymore.

midgetthemighty

I hope that everyone saying they prefer to be surprised by people will/have put high expectations on their children. They need that or they'll just try to coast through life, unless they're naturally motivated people.

Reach for the moon - Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars!

^ - See, it's the teacher in me.

Megbo2012

No expectations is worse, for sure.

chelseakopperud

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_qotd-430?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:76b74a22-4e13-442c-8fc8-67e415ae305ePost:7da30d97-45c0-420b-a4db-1b115585ac02">Re: QOTD 4/30</a>:
[QUOTE]Definitely no expectations at all. What's there to dream and work for if you can't expect anything from a situation, people, or yourself?
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]

This exactly!

LiveLaughLove04

Ditto everyone else, no expectations is definitely worse.  It makes me feel like someone doesn't want anything out of things in life and that's just so sad.

HarperBargo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_qotd-430?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:76b74a22-4e13-442c-8fc8-67e415ae305ePost:692b73f4-c77b-4a58-840b-4df719b214c7">Re: QOTD 4/30</a>:
[QUOTE]I would rather be surprised than disappointed. So, I think having to high of expectations is worse for me.
Posted by peachykeen26[/QUOTE]

This completely. I have strong believer that people and situations can always surprise you.

Zimsgirl

No expectations. You have to set some standards 

Nshivers

no expectations at all!!

Elizabeth80

None at all.

*Though because I set high one's for myself I'm let down more when I expect the same from others. It seems that those with no excpectations are probably let down less. But there's no way I could lower my expectations for myself..others yes because I can't control what they do, but I couldn't live that way personally.

AlliJae

I agree with, Kelsey. If there are no expectations there is nothing to work for. No goals.

michellep1

I agree that without expectations you have nothing to work for and that can lead to being lazy, etc.  However, I tend to have reallllly high expectations for some reason and I'm always disappointed.  My shower is the perfect example.  I'm trying very hard to just be happy that I'm having a shower but it seems as though my mother and sister are TRYING to find things that I won't like, and then say they thought I'd like it.  So that's definitely been really hard to try to lower my expectations because I just want everything to be perfect.

I much prefer to be surprised in a good way than to be let down all the time. 

janeash

High expectations are definitely worse!  You are much more likely to be disappointed!  I have TONS of stuff to look forward to and work towards and I, like everyone else have goals in life and things I want to do, but I try and keep my expectations as low as possible to avoid disappointment.  That way, if things go really well, It's a nice little surprise!

I always found when I was travelling that people went travelling with super high expectations, and if you do that when travelling, you are bound to be disapointed because nothing ever goes perfectly, and I always found those people had such negative experiences, whereas I would go in without expecting anything specific, and I was never disappointed with the outcome!

goodine11

I tihink it depends on what the expectations are for if someone says they have no expectations of my character that is like saying to me that you think I have no character which is offensive. However, going to a movie or going to hang out with my friends I don't have huge expectations for what we are doing because what I want to do may not be what the crowd wants to do.

DrPB2b13

Having just come out of my therapy session for the week about how I beat myself up over expectations....too high is definitely the worse of the two, but if you consider it on a continuum then you definitely want to be somewhere in the middle.

janeash

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_qotd-430?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:76b74a22-4e13-442c-8fc8-67e415ae305ePost:533cc1c9-4c48-447b-badc-578d753377d3">Re: QOTD 4/30</a>:
[QUOTE]I tihink it depends on what the expectations are for if someone says they have no expectations of my character that is like saying to me that you think I have no character which is offensive. However, going to a movie or going to hang out with my friends I don't have huge expectations for what we are doing because what I want to do may not be what the crowd wants to do.
Posted by goodine11[/QUOTE]

<div>That's a very good way of putting it!  I guess I have high expectations of some things.....I am just selective in where I choose to have them!</div>

aor9487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_qotd-430?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:76b74a22-4e13-442c-8fc8-67e415ae305ePost:7da30d97-45c0-420b-a4db-1b115585ac02">Re: QOTD 4/30</a>:
[QUOTE]Definitely no expectations at all. What's there to dream and work for if you can't expect anything from a situation, people, or yourself?
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]

<div>Took the words right out of my mouth! </div>

SarahAlRamadhan

I think sometimes people can have too high of expectations for their children and expect them to do things that they're just not capable of doing or refuse to get them help due to their own pride. There are both positive and negative aspects of having too high or too low of expectations. I don't think there is any real black or white answer here.

michellep1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_qotd-430?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:76b74a22-4e13-442c-8fc8-67e415ae305ePost:e34b38b5-477d-4f57-96e3-398024f8f31d">Re: QOTD 4/30</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I think sometimes people can have too high of expectations for their children and expect them to do things that they're just not capable of doing</strong> or refuse to get them help due to their own pride. There are both positive and negative aspects of having too high or too low of expectations. I don't think there is any real black or white answer here.
Posted by SarahAlRamadhan[/QUOTE]

I'm afraid to have children for this reason.  I know my expectations will be insane and I'm terrified that my children will feel like they have one of those moms that never approves.  Everyone tells me it will be different when its your kids vs your expectations for your friends but I really don't think it will.  Lots of people feel like that about their parents and I don't want that to be my kids!

midgetthemighty

The thing with high expectations for kids is that you put the expectations out there and push them to do their best. THEN you accept their best. You don't give them no expectations because then they have nothing to work towards. Kids generally want to appease their parents and teachers and will work very hard to do so. The problems arise when the parents/teachers never acknowledge the accomplishments and effort of the kids.

Megbo2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_qotd-430?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:76b74a22-4e13-442c-8fc8-67e415ae305ePost:533cc1c9-4c48-447b-badc-578d753377d3">Re: QOTD 4/30</a>:
[QUOTE]I tihink it depends on what the expectations are for if someone says they have no expectations of my character that is like saying to me that you think I have no character <strong>which is offensive. </strong>However, going to a movie or going to hang out with my friends I don't have huge expectations for what we are doing because what I want to do may not be what the crowd wants to do.
Posted by goodine11[/QUOTE]

<div>Eye roll.</div><div>
</div><div>This word should be flagged so it can't be posted on our board anymore my GOD. </div>

SarahAlRamadhan

<p>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_qotd-430?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:76b74a22-4e13-442c-8fc8-67e415ae305ePost:32bc7347-c1f8-4a3f-931d-0818818ee00a">Re: QOTD 4/30</a>:
[QUOTE]The thing with high expectations for kids is that you put the expectations out there and <strong>push them to do their best. THEN you accept their best.</strong> You don't give them no expectations because then they have nothing to work towards. Kids generally want to appease their parents and teachers and will work very hard to do so. The problems arise when the parents/teachers never acknowledge the accomplishments and effort of the kids.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]

Agreed. </p>
<p>The original question is too broad and there really is no right or wrong answer.
</p>

chelseakopperud

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_qotd-430?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:76b74a22-4e13-442c-8fc8-67e415ae305ePost:5e277321-7868-4b63-9722-cc51594ff1f2">Re: QOTD 4/30</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: QOTD 4/30 : Agreed. The original question is too broad and there really is no right or wrong answer.
Posted by SarahAlRamadhan[/QUOTE]

It's the QOTD. Its not black and white because its supposed to be fun and people are supposed to answer differently... thats what makes it fun. Is any question actually EVER black and white?

MMRoberts11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_qotd-430?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:76b74a22-4e13-442c-8fc8-67e415ae305ePost:5e277321-7868-4b63-9722-cc51594ff1f2">Re: QOTD 4/30</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: QOTD 4/30 :  The original question is too broad and there really is no right or wrong answer.
Posted by SarahAlRamadhan[/QUOTE]

<div>That's the point of QOTDs.  It's not to show who knows the correct answer or not but rather to have us learn more about each other and read different perspectives on various things.</div>