Students

student brides :)

Hey student brides wanted to know a little more about your love stories and why you wanted to get married at this age!
im 20 and in university and have been with my fiancee for almost 5 years we really want to get married because we cant see ourselves with anyone else. But its hard work planning a wedding and being in school! The scariest part is finance for me. How do you guys manage school, work and planning a wedding!
FutureMrsGlaze11313
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Re: student brides :)

  • You just do it.  Sometimes you have to have a slightly longer engagement in order to pay for what you want.  We're graduating before our wedding so we can be financially independent and not have to rely on our parents for anything.  

    It's a lot of work, but it's doable.  We're getting married because we love each other and because we have similar goals in life.  It's not that we were like "Hey, let's get married at this certain age".  It was more of we got engaged, this was a date/time that worked for us, done.  
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  • It's certainly tough and stressful.  I made sure I did as much as possible as far out as possible.  Once it's over, it's so nice and relaxing.  

    Do you and your FI have a plan for money? That is something you should have nailed down before you guy get married.  This is vitally important.  If money is an issue, I would wait until you can afford your wedding and be able to support yourselves.  

    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • In Response to Re: student brides :):
    It's certainly tough and stressful.  I made sure I did as much as possible as far out as possible.  Once it's over, it's so nice and relaxing.   Do you and your FI have a plan for money? That is something you should have nailed down before you guy get married.  This is vitally important.  If money is an issue, I would wait until you can afford your wedding and be able to support yourselves.  
    Posted by ravenray

    I second the money part.  
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  • I'm 24 and in graduate school. I've been with my husband since we were 16. We got married almost 8 months ago. Right now we're in a long distance relationship because of school, and we've done that a few times, but we've also lived together for a few years too (it's been a bit of a rollercoaster 8 years). 

    As for school, work, and wedding planning. I would say this: take your time. There is no reason to rush into marriage just because you're excited about it. And yes, it's exciting, but think about it logically. You're going to spend THE REST OF YOUR LIFE with this person, you can take a few years if necessary to get things figured out. My DH proposed when we were 19, freshman year of undergrad, and we were engaged for almost 5 years before we tied the knot. This was to allow us to finish college and grow into ourselves as people and as a couple before marriage. Best decision ever. There's no hurry, and for all the people who say you're too young, smile and nod and then go home at night and snuggle with your FI. Only you can judge your relationship (especially based solely on age). But if YOU have any doubts, then take them seriously, because this is the rest of your life you're talking about. 

    That's my schpeel. Spiel? Whatever, you know what I mean. I'm avoiding homework. Good luck! 
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  • I'm a student bride but not we are not that young. I'm 24 and finishing up my bachelor degree. I took my time with school because I wanted to graduate debt free and I did it as we'll as going abroad for a semester. My fiancé is 30 and he is working. We have been living together for two years and are very excited to get married! We had to wait until I finished school because of some scholarships that I had that would be revoked if I were married. I'm graduating in May and getting married in June. You can do it! Apart from love, being financially ready is the most important thing. My FI moved across the country for me and it took him over a year to find the job he has now and we are happily in a place where we can afford our wedding. I would say take your time and save up and don't go into debt for your wedding. It is stressful enough going to school, working, etc without adding wedding debt. Good luck! Oh and my FI and I met 4 years ago when I was 20 on twitter through a mutual friend! Neither our mutual friend nor my FI and I thought it would turn romantic but it did and he moved from CT to Southern California to be with me two years ago :) As for planning a wedding it is stressful while you are still in school! Especially for me since it is my last semester and I want to get outa there! Even now I should be preparing a presentation but here I am on TK. Hahaha.
  • Yes I'm in a similar boat. I'm 25 and in my second year of law school.  Been with my fiance since sophomore year of high school.  He's two years older than me and has been working for about 5 years at a solidly middle-income job.  I have two main concerns: 1) ditto finances and 2) family support.  Since we've been together so long, nobody seems to be treating this as a special time.  We've been engaged for 5 months now and my father has only brought up the wedding one single time.  My mom has maybe brought it up two or three times.  No joke.  I get that they can't really contribute financially, but they aren't even acting like they care.  We also haven't had an engagement party, and again, I haven't had one single offer from anyone in my family to try to help or even act like they want us to have one.  I'm not talking about finances although that would be nice, just in general, "Maybe we can try to have it in the backyard this spring" or "Have you thought about having an engagement party?"  And I know they like my fiance, so that's not the problem.  And I'm 25, so they can't think I'm too young to be getting married.  But how do you tell somebody you want them to want to be excited?

    As for finances, I will be in a very high-paying law firm job this summer and hopefully back to the same job after graduation.  This summer I should be able to save about half the cost of the wedding, but since we want to get married next fall shortly after I take the bar exam, I won't have been working for very long to save anything additional.  My fiance and I can maybe cut a couple hundred out of our monthly budget and save that, but it won't make up the difference.  Asking family is out of the question because they simply don't have the money.  I know the next obvious choice is to wait, and that's an option.  But not my favorite option, especially because I really want a fall wedding, so that would mean waiting a full extra year.  Gah.
  • edited February 2013

    I am the same way... sort of. My fiance and I have been together 4 years. I am 22 and I am currently working part time while attending college to get my early childhood education degree. My fiance is 27 and he has his bachelors degree in business and has a very good paying job. We have been very blessed! We were given a house, our cars are paid for and so on... I just worry all the time! I know we will be ok, but you know! Typical stress!

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  • I have been with my fiance for six years. We started dating our junior year of high school. I just graduated from college in January; he proposed on my last day of school in December. I am still searching for a job (not very many teaching jobs in the middle of the year...). Granted, I am not technically "in school" anymore so I can't really give any advice on how to juggle it all, but I will say this: we are definitely waiting until we are financially ready. My fiance works full time hours, but as a part-timer... meaning he has no benefits at the moment. Like I said, I am still searching for a teaching job so I am only working part time in retail right now. We are both 22. We are focused on getting full time jobs with benefits and finding a home together before we get married. The most important thing to us is that we are together.. we can wait a few years to officially get married so that we can live a comfortable life together. No need to go into debt for a one night celebration! Anyway, that's my input.. we have been told we're young too but all we say is "we're waiting until we're financially ready".. age shouldn't matter if you're meant for each other :)
    Lizzieb91
  • I have been with my Fiance for 6 1/2 years! We started dating the summer before my Junior year in highschool and have been together ever since :) We are both 23 and he is graduating this year, so he proposed in October and we have been planning our wedding for August 16,2014 ever since. I am in occupational therapy school until May 2014, so thats why we are waiting a little while to get married.
  • Wow, I'm surprised by all the people who have been with their FI since high school!  I didn't date until I was 24!  And now I'm 26 and engaged . . . but everyone is different.  I was nowhere near ready for a relationship in high school, so you guys must have been so much more mature than me at that age.  If you want to get married young and you're ready, get married young!  And Ashanty 123 - out of curiousity, where did you study abroad?  Right now I'm studying abroad in the Netherlands for my Masters, and I'm really glad I did the abroad experience. 
    imageimage
    kla728
  • I'm a student, but I'm not young lol
    I'm in graduate school and I'm 25 
    My Fiance is in school as well and he's 25 also - he has one semester left and I have a year left.  
    We are getting married in between summer school and fall semester so we're getting married in August (in Louisiana) everyone thinks we're crazy!
    We didn't want to put it off until we finished school because that would put us getting married way too late!
    It's stressful to try and plan.  I live with my parents in one city and I go to school 40 minutes away where my fiance lives.  I stay with him Mon-Wed when I'm in school and come home on the weekends.  Most vendors only have meetings Mon-Thurs and I work on the weekend days.  It's been hard trying to plan and meet with people because I only have a few days during the week that we can plan, but my mom has been helpful!
    Good luck to you! and all the other student brides! 
    Don't let the wedding planning get in the way of good grades!!!
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  • I think I might be the youngest bride on here. lol. I'm 19 and my FI is 21 (he'll turn 22 the week before our wedding). We've been together for almost 7 years now. We did the on and off thing in high school, but have been together for the last 3 years solid. We moved in together in August of 2012, and he proposed the same month. We put of planning or telling our families for a few months because my grandfather, who I am very close to,  was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. In January we made everything "official" and started planning.

    We've had rocky times while growing up, but we're both very mature for our age, traditional people with common values, morals and plans. I am in love with my FI, but I also love him for everything he is - the good, the bad, everything.
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    carolinagirl5194FutureMrsGlaze11313
  • edited March 2013
    Hi there! I'm in a similar situation...21, been with my man for over 5 years and we're (finally!) getting married this summer with a year left of school. Finances are definitely a little daunting, but since we've had marriage in mind for several years now, he put away quite a nest egg by living at home and working while going to school on a full ride. I think the most important thing for us is just keeping our heads on straight and talking through all the obstacles. He was determined he wasn't going to ask my dad to marry me until he knew he could take financial responsibilty, and I (a rather loose spender) have had to make the commitment to being more responsible with my spending and trying to learn to cut out most of the unnecessaries. I'm not good at it, but it helps us a lot to encourage each other in it and making sure we're on the same page as far as money goes. Since we made the decision to marry before graduation, we're making the decision to sacrifice a little to keep our money in order until we can get 'real' jobs. But don't be afraid or too proud to ask for help. I know we want to prove ourselves and defend our rationale for marrying so young, but it's wise to be willing to ask for help from the people around us when we need it! Otherwise, pray. :) I'm glad I'm not the only one in this boat!
  • I am 28 and working on my nursing bachelor degree, but I agree it's tough to try and balance and pay for a wedding on top of school!!!!!! my FH has a great job so that will help us a lot and I have a part time job and will be saving :) good luck!
  • For me, the stress of being a full-time student, full-time employee, and trying to plan a wedding was too much to handle alone. I was to the point where we were just going to elope and that was going to be the end of it. However, my older cousin/best friend talked me off the ledge (figuratively) and has since taken over the wedding planning. It has been fantastic, and things have gone a lot more smoothely with her help. So my big advice is, find somebody you trust and who really knows you to help you out. Make sure it's somebody that you can also say NO to if you don't like a suggestion, and she won't get offended (big problem in my family). This has made all the difference in the world for me.

    As to finances- that's totally up to you guys. We are both pretty low-key, so a very laid-back, small wedding is just what feels comfortable to us. His parent's are paying for some of the pricier items, like catering. But finances as a whole are something you guys definately need to figure out together, well before the wedding day. Our plan overall is, since I'm in school and he is planning on returning to school eventually (dropped out a few years ago), is I'm going to finish school and he is going to be the bread winner. Once I graduate, I will take over the money earning and he will go to a tech school. There is a lot more to finances than that, some of which we have figured out, some of which is still up for discussion, but that is the big, long-term plan on where the money is coming from.

    Our story- we became friends in high school after his sister started dating my cousin (they are getting married a couple of months after us!). I liked him, but I knew he wasn't ready for the type of relationship I wanted. Eventually, he was ready for what I wanted, but at that point, it had been so long, I had let go of most of those feelings. But seeing how much he really cared for me and how hard he was willing to work to make me happy, just by being a friend, won me over pretty quickly. He is my best friend in the world. 2 year later, and we are getting married in just a few more months. We just got tired of having to say "Some day..." and "good bye". We're ready to have a  life together.
  • I just turned 21 last month and my fiance is turning 21 next month. We have been best friends & kept in constant contact for the last 8-9 years. We dated on & off during that time & at age 17 we got back together in the middle of our senior year and have stayed together since. He went to work after high school & I went to college. It was a hard transition and it really tested our relationship not seeing each other 5-6 days a week. But we stuck it out & we both did a lot of growing up together. He propsed to me when we were 18 & we kept it a secret. We came public with our engagement when we turned 20. We moved in together & have been making payments on our own house. Our financial situation is not ideal because I still have to go to my parents for money at times but within a year I will have my bachelors degree & I'll be able to support us a lot more & my fiance will have the opportunity to work part time & get his associates degree. We aren't getting married till October 2014 and sometimes it seems so far away it makes me impatient & I'm so excited I could just do it now. But I know when the time comes the wait will be worth it because he & I can look back & say "We did it. We stayed together, bought a house, and payed for our wedding on our own" :)
    "It's not going to be easy. It's going to be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, everyday."
    carolinagirl5194
  • Speedchick23Speedchick23
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    member
    edited April 2013
    I'm so glad I found this board. I've been so stressed out lately over trying to plan a wedding, while continuing to earn my BA in Animal Science. 

    A little background...
    I'm 21 and my FH is 22. He's graduating next month and I still have a year left. We've been together since I was a freshman and he was a sophomore in high school. We grew up just a mile away from one another!

    Anyway, this semester has been the most stressful for me because of the classes I'm taking and I feel like we've been at each others' throats this whole time because he's also stressed about graduating and not finding a job soon. We live in the middle of nowhere and there aren't many jobs for a Poli Sci (him) and an Ani Sci (me). He's probably going to head to grad school, but he LOVES (read: is obsessed with) sports, specifically baseball, and I know he would be amazing if he could just get a break and get into the industry!

    This semester/year has been hard for me because I feel like I'm carrying his emotional weight, but also dumping my own on him. My cousin also recently got engaged and is getting married in November. Her FH is Catholic and has a huge family (over 400 guests!!) and my wedding is 7 months after so I'm worried that my aunt (long story of why I live with her) won't be able to pay for all of it. Our guest list is only at about 200 (we're not expecting all of them to come either), and we're trying to keep costs down by having friends/family members do things for us like make our cake and take our photos. We both have jobs right now, but they're only $10/hr or less and his is dependent on whether or not people give up their shifts for someone else to take. 

    Also, I feel like I'm planning this whole thing by myself. He's made a few calls here and there to get information, but I've called the reception/ceremony site (which is also a big toss up b/c we want our ceremony at the same site, but they don't currently have a gazebo and are reluctant to do a ceremony without one (even though I would be fine if guests (other than elderly) just stood for the 10-15 mins our ceremony will take. I've called multiple DJs and they're all expensive, I've got my dress already (only $800 compared to $1500 for my cousin's), I've called the officiant (I have no idea how much he'll ask, but he's an old school friend), and I had to put our wedding date on the date of my 4-H club's horseshow because it worked out for the most people and now we'll have to organize a different day for it (it's not that easy to change a horseshow date, especially b/c we usually have it on the same weekend every year. 

    Lastly, (sorry this is such a long rant!!) I'm failing my biochemistry course (I've never come close to failing a course before) and I have to graduate in four years otherwise I lose my scholarship. My aunt hasn't had to pay for much for my schooling b/c of it. My cousin went to school for 7 years to get her undergraduate degree and my sister (one year older) is going to a private school so her tuition is awfully expensive too.

    Please tell me someone else is going through this too...
    "Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale."
    FutureMrsGlaze11313
  • My fiance and I have been together for almost 3 years and have been high school sweethearts, We talked about engagement all the time and finally got into looking at rings. Now that we are engaged we're just going to have a long engagement (we're still together and committed) until 2015 so we have time OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL to plan because I have a lot of student teaching in my second year and we both turn 21 so we can legally drink at our own wedding
    bride2b71614
  • My fiance and I have been together for almost 5 years. I'm graduating on may 10! and then heading out into the workforce. (yikes!) but my fiance has always worked and hopefuly i will find a job soon that i can also contribute. it's exciting to have so much going on between graduation and wedding plans, but i love having the two different events going on. even though it can be stressful at times, balancing the two is something that i find exciting. We thankfully will be having some help from my parents so we will not have to pay for everything but there will still be many expenses that we're working on. hopefully we'll get everything squared away before wedding day!


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  • It definitely is not eay! I am 21, and my fiance and I have been together for almost seven years. When I got engaged, the most popular response was "FINALLY!" or "About time!!!". Haha! Finances were our main worry, which is why we have waited a little longer than we wanted too to get married.  But we decided that it comes down to one thing, just taking it one step at a time.  We know that we really want to be together, so we decided to just make it work.  Thankfully, my fiance graduated in December and got a job, so one of us has a full time job.  We made the decision that we would just make it work. If we have financial problems in the first couple years (as almost EVERY couple does), we will work through them together. When you want something hard enough, you make it work.
  • It's crazy and stressful at times, but you just gotta power through, take it one thing at a time and you'll make it work.  Also, don't overlook a longer engagement (noone says you HAVE to get married right now!) - it's been working for us very nicely!  I'm 25 (turning 26 this year) and my FI is 31 (turning 32); I'm in grad school and working part time and he works full time, we've been together since 2007 and engaged since 2011.  We are very, very lucky that our parents are able to pay for a majority of the wedding, but if money is tight for you I agree with the others who say to wait & save to get married. We have a year to go until our wedding, have booked over half of our vendors and I have not felt overly stressed yet - I've spaced out meeting vendors and working and school so that I don't get stressed. Just take your time, remember to breathe and everything will work out and be fine!
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  • I am 21 (and so is my FI). We will both be 22 by the wedding and we are both graduating in December (a month before the wedding).

    We met freshman year in college. I went into college never having dated. I met him early in the semester and we became best friends. Talking about everything. At first I was dating other guys (nothing serious, just some first dates) and then I started to realize he was what I wanted. There were several moments that it got a little flirty with us, but it was several months later when he asked me on a date. On our first date, we became a official. We dated for a little over 2 years, and he asked me to marry him. I am so excited to marry my best friend and grow old with him. 

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  • KaySea6213KaySea6213
    100 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    edited May 2013
  • My FI and I are both 21. We are getting married in October and will both be seniors in college at that time. We originally planned to set that date for next summer, but neither of us wanted to wait and we had full support from his parents, at the very least. We have been together for 2 years, and have known each other since we were in 7th grade. We met because we were assigned seats next to each other on the bus :) Also, he just joined the Army, on track to be a Chaplain after he goes to seminary. We both will have decent paying jobs, as well as military benefits. We know it will be tough, but we both decided we didn't want to wait, especially since he will be gone for the next four months at basic training. We made a decision that was what WE wanted. Noone else can decide that for you. If you can financially handle it and you love each other, there is no reason you shouldn't get married and be merry!
    mrsdweaver
  • I am in school currently and will graduate almost 3 months after we are married on Sept. 20, 2014. I am not worried about it. FH and I are a bit older than most of the other posters. We are both 25 and have been together for over 3 years. FH has been in his field he went to school for almost 5 years and loves it. I am working while attending school full-time and am so excited to graduate and begin my career.. 
  • First off, I can tell you that I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 17. We have been planning on getting married for quite some time now. We plan to graduate in May (2014), go to Ohio for the summer, and get married in a small family setting on Lake Erie.

    My secret obsession hobby is wedding planning. So of course, I've planned about 100 weddings. We decided on one and it was perfect. Only problem... it was going to cost about 10 thousand dollars... and we would have to make a lot of sacrifices.

    Stressed about money and time, we decided we should just get married in city hall, and have a big wedding later on - so we don't have to cut back.

    Why are we getting married so soon? We are in love. Why wait?? Also, I plan to go to medical school right after college. As you may know, med school is 4 years- after that, I will be an intern for about 5 years. I am going to be a surgeon, so again, you know- long hours, never home.  There really won't be a good or decent time him and I could get married. I wouldn't have time to plan it either.

    I know it's cliché that everyone who dates in high school plans on getting married, and then breaks up a week later, AFTER a week of getting married.

    But I talked to one of my close teachers about it, and she told me everything about marriage and things you have to sacrifice and change to make things work... Everything she told me, was already happening in our relationship. There is something about us, that you can see, that tells you we are perfect for each other... so again, Why Wait?

    Me, of course being a student bride, does believe that student marriages can work. But you have to know what you are getting yourself into. You need to know that you can spend everyday of the rest of your life with that person. ... Waking up and falling asleep to their face..

    How I balance school and wedding planning? PINTREST. it's amazing.. but be careful! you will get addicted!! (:

    Finacial? Either do what we are gonna do, and get married now and have a big ceremony later.. or just cut corners and make it small.

    If you REALLY want it, save every pay check. I calculated that if I saved every pay check, ON MINIMUM WAGE ($7.80), I would be able to save $5000 in about 6 months (I think it was 6 months... it was something short like that)

    So don't worry.

    Get Married.

    Be in love<3

     

    And congrats<3

    ElizabethandQuintenFutureMrsGlaze11313

  • If you REALLY want it, save every pay check. I calculated that if I saved every pay check, ON MINIMUM WAGE ($7.80), I would be able to save $5000 in about 6 months (I think it was 6 months... it was something short like that)

    First of all, welcome to the board!

    So I understand what you mean about saving, but saving 100% of every paycheck is impossible for most people. Most student brides are in school (paying for college) and paying to support ourselves. It is hard to save a percentage of a paycheck , but do able. But not all of it.

    Katie
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  • But I talked to one of my close teachers about it, and she told me everything about marriage and things you have to sacrifice and change to make things work... Everything she told me, was already happening in our relationship. There is something about us, that you can see, that tells you we are perfect for each other... so again, Why Wait?

    Welcome to the board.  

    I know you are excited to get married but I would wait until you are actually engaged to plan your wedding.  Things can change drastically in that time period (including prices!).  

    Something in your post bothered me. First off, no one can ever tell you everything that you need to know about marriage.  A lot of things in marriage you have to experience for yourself, and I say this as an old married hag that thought she knew everything there was to know about marriage before she got married.  I learned very quickly that I did not. Second off, just because you have had the relationship hurdles she has predicted, doesn't mean that your relationship is perfect now and doesn't need any fixing.  There are many things in marriage that will be experienced and dealt with but don't be so silly as to think you have experienced them all already. 

    So hang out here, go lurk on some other boards.  Learn some things about Etiquette by hanging out on that board.  Don't tell others to have a pretty princess day (PPD) (which was what you were suggesting to the original poster (OP).  Have fun and enjoy your relationship where it is at.  I come from NEY which is a great place that you might want to check out, but hold on to your hat they are going to be rough but they mean well and if you can listen to some of their advice it might help you with some things.  

    As it is, welcome aboard.  
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

    bethsmilesstaar987ArtTeacher23CulyeenRN
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    edited June 2013
    elBecko said:

    I don't know anyone who can afford their dream wedding, but that doesn't mean that the wedding they could afford wasn't wonderful anyway. If you don't think you would be happy with a wedding that you can afford now, wait to get married until you can afford it. 

    This is wonderfully stated. Rarely can a couple afford their dream wedding but it doesn't make the wedding they can afford any less special. You know what makes a wedding not special? Faking it. A wedding isn't about the dress or the decorations or the centerpieces. A wedding is about committing yourself to a life with the person you love.

    And if you are focused so much on the wedding that you are considering having a fake one, I'm inclined to think that you aren't mature enough to handle a marriage. Get some perspective and realize that the wedding is one day (and no matter what it will be special) your marriage is a lifetime. So plan the wedding you can afford, don't try to have a do-over later, and focus on your life and relationship which is SO much more important than a party.

    ETA: Also ditto everything @ravenray said!


    ArtTeacher23ravenraySP29
  • "Why are we getting married so soon? We are in love. Why wait?? Also, I plan to go to medical school right after college. As you may know, med school is 4 years- after that, I will be an intern for about 5 years. I am going to be a surgeon, so again, you know- long hours, never home.  There really won't be a good or decent time him and I could get married. I wouldn't have time to plan it either."
    I'm currently in medical school (and planning my wedding), so I assure you that it IS very possible to do both. Also 95% of my friends who went into college planing on being pre-med changed their minds before senior year, so make sure to keep an open mind about everything. I'm not saying that you don't know what you're getting yourself into, or will change your mind (I havent changed my mind about the guy or the career since I was 18 so you may not either!) but I am glad I didn't rush into anything. 
    ravenrayjellybeann
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