4pm wedding, would you expect dinner?

SmallenForever

My aunt keeps telling me I committed some sort of invitation sin by not saying on the reception cards that we are having a cocktail hour followed by dinner. She says because our wedding starts at 4, no one will expect a seated dinner and will eat beforehand and not plan to spend the whole evening at our wedding. Our reception cards just said reception to follow. Should I warn people that there is a dinner?

freebread03

Your aunt is a nut (or possible the only one who would get confused).  I would 100% expect dinner if your wedding was at 4pm.

Liatris2010

I would expect dinner.
Our ceremony was at 3, our invitations said reception to follow, and we had cocktail hour and dinner. No one was surprised. Unless you are from a circle where cake and punch receptions are the norm, I don't think anyone will be surprised.

sydaries

Was there a food selection on the RSVP?

Edie Bee

I would expect dinner and would understand that from the words "Reception to follow".  Your aunt is being silly.

SmallenForever

In Response to Re: 4pm wedding, would you expect dinner?:

Was there a food selection on the RSVP?
Posted by sydaries

No, we did a dual entree, so no choices.

Avion22

Honestly, I think people will expect dinner.  But even if they don't, at least you will be providing them food when they may not expect it, instead of NOT providing food when they DO expect it.  At least you would be erring on the side of caution.  

But honestly, I think you're fine.   We attended a 3:30pm wedding a few weeks ago and still got (and expected) dinner.

Maggie0829

In Response to Re: 4pm wedding, would you expect dinner?:

I would expect dinner. Our ceremony was at 3, our invitations said reception to follow, and we had cocktail hour and dinner. No one was surprised. Unless you are from a circle where cake and punch receptions are the norm, I don't think anyone will be surprised.
Posted by Liatris2010

This except our ceremony was at 4:30.  There was absolutely no question whether or not a cocktail hour was occuring or dinner was being served.

Ignore your Aunt.

sydaries

I would expect dinner at a 4pm wedding. I mean, it would be a HUGE etiquette faux pas to have a reception in a meal time without serving a meal. Worst comes to worst, people will either not finish their food or save the money they were planning on using to go out to eat after.

NYUgirl100

I would expect dinner if it said reception to follow, I think most people I know would say cocktails to follow if that was all there was. But that is in my circle.  In any event, you can use your mom, fmil and friends to get word out.

AddieL73

I would definitely expect dinner at that time. 

SmallenForever

In Response to Re: 4pm wedding, would you expect dinner?:

I would expect dinner. Our ceremony was at 3, our invitations said reception to follow, and we had cocktail hour and dinner. No one was surprised. Unless you are from a circle where cake and punch receptions are the norm, I don't think anyone will be surprised.
Posted by Liatris2010

She's convinced that people will expect cake and punch and leave early to make their dinner reservations. No one does that, right?

lwoehlk

Ours was at 4:30 pm.  I would absolutely expect some form of food at a 4 pm wedding.  Don't worry about your Aunt.

thurmanpowell

I would expect dinner.

Carson386

I would expect dinner. I'd actually be really disappointed if I went to a wedding at 4pm and didn't get fed dinner.

cmgilpin

In Response to Re: 4pm wedding, would you expect dinner?:

In Response to Re: 4pm wedding, would you expect dinner? : She's convinced that people will expect cake and punch and leave early to make their dinner reservations. No one does that, right?
Posted by SmallenForever

No.  People expect wedding receptions to last 3-5 hours. If your ceremony is at 4, people will probably plan on staying at your reception until 8pm-10pmish. 

We had our ceremony at 3. Cocktail hour from 3:30-4:30 and dinner at 4:30. Dinner was a little on the early side, but everyone expected food and no one left early for dinner reservations.  Your aunt is trippin.

Erikan73

I would expect a full dinner unless the invitation said otherwise.

SmallenForever

In Response to Re: 4pm wedding, would you expect dinner?:

In Response to Re: 4pm wedding, would you expect dinner? : No.  People expect wedding receptions to last 3-5 hours. If your ceremony is at 4, people will probably plan on staying at your reception until 8pm-10pmish.  We had our ceremony at 3. Cocktail hour from 3:30-4:30 and dinner at 4:30. Dinner was a little on the early side, but everyone expected food and no one left early for dinner reservations.  Your aunt is trippin.
Posted by cmgilpin

Yeah, I figured she was crazy. She also told me dinner before 7 was for old people. Glad to know your timeline was similar and worked out.

Maggie0829

In Response to Re: 4pm wedding, would you expect dinner?:

In Response to Re: 4pm wedding, would you expect dinner? : Yeah, I figured she was crazy. She also told me dinner before 7 was for old people. Glad to know your timeline was similar and worked out.
Posted by SmallenForever

Then 28 must be old because I always eat dinner between 5:30 and 6:30pm.

Liatris2010

Even if I wasn't expecting dinner and was planning on eating out on the way home, when I was ushered into the cocktail space with free food and booze, I'd cancel the dinner reservations and stay for the party.

Coghoot12

I agree, its strange.

However, there were three guests from H's side to our wedding that RSVP'd then left after the ceremony saying they didn't realize there was dinner.  I didn't know they left until the next day when H's mom told me.

Our ceremony was at 5:30pm and the invitations said "Reception Immediately Following".
I don't know what they thought they were RSVP'ing for. 
Perhaps they are related to your aunt?

achiduck

Our ceremony was at 4 pm and you bet your as$ we fed everyone dinner.

myrinae

Our wedding is at 4pm, and we have the same thing on the invites: 'Reception to follow'. I wouldn't worry about your aunt--most reasonable people would realize that means dinner. 

msmerymac

Even if your ceremony is short, your reception would have to be like 30-60 minutes for it to end before (or at) the "regular" dinner time (5-6pm). Unless you specify something else, "reception to follow" during a meal time means you're serving a meal. "Cocktail reception to follow" or "dessert reception to follow" means something else - but it would be awkward and fairly rude to only have hors d'oeuvres or dessert at a dinnertime reception.

You could say "dinner reception to follow" but that would be redundant, since it's at dinner time.

Meegles4

Has your aunt ever been married? If so, when?

When my mom got married a generation ago, cake and punch receptions were the norm, and I don't think time of day really played into it. People in her area just didn't do elaborate wedding receptions that lasted hours and included full meals. So, if your aunt comes from a similar generation and hasn't had a lot of experience with weddings recently, then I could see where she might be confused.

Re: the "old people" comment, even with a 4 p.m. reception, you're likely not going to eat dinner until at least 5:45-6ish by the time you have the cocktail hour and then get everyone's butts in seats for the dinner service...and then serve the dinner.

You're fine. Tell your aunt not to worry her pretty head.

ETA: I just re-read your post and the mention of invitations. On ours, we did put "Join us for cocktails, dinner and dancing at 5:30 p.m. at VENUE". So, I can see why she might have questioned not including that text. BUT, I still think it's a pretty safe assumption these days given the timing of your wedding, so it's not like I'd reprint the invitations or something just because of that.

renegade gaucho

I would absolutely expect dinner.

Joy2611

I saw this thread going an entirely different direction.

I'd expect dinner!

Calypso1977

i expect a full lunch or dinner or some sort of meal when i attend any sort of wedding unless its specified otherwise.

TXKristan

nomnomnomnom.

Yes, I would expect dinner.

And the rebel in me would write in crayon on that aunt's invitation to indicate such.
too far?  #mischief

kmcclelland7

In Response to 4pm wedding, would you expect dinner?:

My aunt keeps telling me I committed some sort of invitation sin by not saying on the reception cards that we are having a cocktail hour followed by dinner. She says because our wedding starts at 4, no one will expect a seated dinner and will eat beforehand and not plan to spend the whole evening at our wedding. Our reception cards just said reception to follow. Should I warn people that there is a dinner?
Posted by SmallenForever

Our ceremony is going to be at 4pm, followed by cocktails from 4:30-6 (having a short ceremony at the same site as the reception), then dinner at 6pm.  So, no you're not the only one with that time frame.  Hopefully that helps!

libby2483

We had a ceremony at 3:30 and we served dinner.  Our invitation simply said 'Reception to follow" as well.