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Moms and Maids

What would you do?

Hi ladies,
I have a situation and need some help!
When I was younger I was best friends with my cousin and we promised that we would be each other's MOH in our weddings. However, I haven't been close to her in two years. We talk on occasion, but not like we use to. I haven't even talked to her in about five months (and not without me trying to). I'm not sure whether to ask her or have someone else be my MOH. If I don't ask her, however, I'm not sure who else I would ask because I don't really have a "best friend" other than my mom and FI.
I don't know if I want her as my MOH, but I'm also afraid I'm going to hurt her feelings by not asking when we promised each other. 
I know you ladies are very insightful, so maybe you can give me options I never even thought of! 
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Re: What would you do?

  • If she's not your MOH would she be a BM?  You don't have to have a MOH.  You can have BM or no BM.  If your mom really is your best friend, why not ask her?  There are no rules for wedding parties.  
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  • edited February 2012

    My best friend and I promised we'd name our kids after each other when I was 8 or 9. I'd feel bad naming my girls Douglas and he's gay, with no desire for children now. Childhood promises can be broken as long as there's no harmful intent.

  • You aren't getting married until July 2013.  You have almost a year before you should even start thinking about your WP.  For the love of all that is holy, don't discuss WP plans with anyone.
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  • In Response to Re: What would you do?:
    If she's not your MOH would she be a BM?  You don't have to have a MOH.  You can have BM or no BM.  If your mom really is your best friend, why not ask her?  There are no rules for wedding parties.  
    Posted by jagore08
     
    I never really thought of it that way. I just assumed I HAD TO HAVE  a MOH since most people do. We are planning to have two BM and two GM and I have already asked one of our girlfriends to be a BM, and FI pretty much told me that both of his GM will be "bestmen", since both are very close. I could also make it even with my BM. Thanks for your advice. 
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  • In Response to Re: What would you do?:
    You aren't getting married until July 2013.  You have almost a year before you should even start thinking about your WP.  For the love of all that is holy, don't discuss WP plans with anyone.
    Posted by tldh
    My mom said it's WAY early too! lols! I'm just excited, that's all. I know I should just wait a while, I'm just afraid if I wait too too long I won't be sure if I want her as MOH or not. And if not, who am I going to pick. I guess it's because FI has his guys all figured out and I'm not even sure if the person I thought was going to be my MOH all these years is the best choice for me! 

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  • In Response to Re: What would you do?:
    In Response to Re: What would you do? : My mom said it's WAY early too! lols! I'm just excited, that's all. I know I should just wait a while, I'm just afraid if I wait too too long I won't be sure if I want her as MOH or not. And if not, who am I going to pick. I guess it's because FI has his guys all figured out and I'm not even sure if the person I thought was going to be my MOH all these years is the best choice for me! 
    Posted by Amber13000
    This is WHY you wait.
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  • Definitely wait until about at least 8 months before your wedding to pick any bridal party.  Friendships change, for better and worse, and there's nothing she'd need to do in the interrim anyway.

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  • In Response to Re: What would you do?:
    In Response to Re: What would you do? : My mom said it's WAY early too! lols! I'm just excited, that's all. I know I should just wait a while, I'm just afraid if I wait too too long I won't be sure if I want her as MOH or not. And if not, who am I going to pick. I guess it's because FI has his guys all figured out and I'm not even sure if the person I thought was going to be my MOH all these years is the best choice for me! 
    Posted by Amber13000
    This makes as much sense as getting married TODAY because you don't know if you love him.
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    AKA GoodLuckBear14
  • Well you don't need a MOH. 
    Can your cousin be your bridesmaid,  and since you mentioned that your FI and mother are your 2 best friends have your mother as your MOH?
    imageimage
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    How about this option...don't have a MOH!

  • edited February 2012
    If you're only planning on two attendants anyway, it seems especially weird to me make one the MOH and the other a BM - it just seems like a completely unnecessary distinction.  It wouldn't necessarily be wrong to do if you had a particularly close relationship with one person versus the other, but if you're equally close to both people anyway, there's no need for arbitrary distinctions.

    Oh, and ditto what everyone else said about waiting.  DON'T PICK YOUR BRIDAL PARTY NOW.
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to Re: What would you do?:
    In Response to Re: What would you do? : My mom said it's WAY early too! lols! I'm just excited, that's all. I know I should just wait a while, I'm just afraid if I wait too too long I won't be sure if I want her as MOH or not. And if not, who am I going to pick. I guess it's because FI has his guys all figured out and I'm not even sure if the person I thought was going to be my MOH all these years is the best choice for me! 
    Posted by Amber13000
    This statement just tells you that your cousin should not be your MOH.  Go through and read some of the Wedding Party board posts where the bride's MOH & her used to be so close, so she just HAD to ask her.  And now the MOH, isn't "living up to her role" and they barely talk, etc. 

    It is too early to pick your WP.  Just wait it out for and see how your relationship with your cousin continues.  If you continue to drift apart, it's clear she is not to be your MOH.  Your WP should be your nearest and dearest and as of right now, it doesn't seem that you cousin falls into that category.
  • In Response to Re: What would you do?:
    Well you don't need a MOH.  Can your cousin be your bridesmaid,  and since you mentioned that your FI and mother are your 2 best friends have your mother as your MOH?
    Posted by blues28
    This is what I am doing.  I definitely don't have any friends that would do nearly as good a job as MOH as my mom!

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