Left Behind :(

Re: Left Behind :(

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  cde1313

  

  July 2012

  In Response to Left Behind :
  
  Everything will be ok, I promise!! it is always going to be hard being away from them but at least you can hear/see him everyday. Just keep thinking about the positive!  You guys are starting something new, together! New life, new career, new location! My husband and I just moved to Ft. Leonard Wood and it is an adjustment. This is the first time we are both away from family and we are still newly weds so it's adjustment on top of adjustment.
  
   I am going to dred it when he gets deployed again, but I know it's inevitable. I just try to take tons of pictures and video recordings to have on supply when he does have to leave.
  
  You will be fine, just take advantage of all the good times!! I hope your wedding goes well. I was scared out of my mind because my husband's leave was approved one week before our flight to Jamaica for marriage. Nerve racking!!!
  

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  ggirl2001 member

  

  July 2012

  Try not to think of it as being left behind. That's going to get you more upset.
  
  also, I'm not quite sure why you were putting up a fight about moving. You knew he was trying to get a job with the border patrol, i would guess that you knew you would be moving since it can be difficult to get jobs up in the north?
  
  Also, Arizona is way better than El Centro (which is where most of my border patrol buddies are). Think of it that way.
  
  don't stress about the honeymoon. You can always plan one for your one year anniversary, or do short weekend trips once you are down in Arizona with him.

  

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  Beachy730 member

  

  July 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_left-behind?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:19576801-2ecb-4d98-a9ff-436c209ab667Post:119300ab-d29a-4a0d-a391-075b929da97f">Re: Left Behind :(</a>:
  [QUOTE]Try not to think of it as being left behind. That's going to get you more upset. also, I'm not quite sure why you were putting up a fight about moving. You knew he was trying to get a job with the border patrol, i would guess that you knew you would be moving since it can be difficult to get jobs up in the north? Also, Arizona is way better than El Centro (which is where most of my border patrol buddies are). Think of it that way. don't stress about the honeymoon. You can always plan one for your one year anniversary, or do short weekend trips once you are down in Arizona with him.
  Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]<div>
  </div><div>Ditto all of this.  Also, your FI is right, he is not in the military.  You are more than welcome to post here, but many people IRL and on here will get annoyed if you try and compare your FI being in another state for training or working midnights to someone having a deployed spouse.  You will definitely go through periods of him being gone and lonely nights, and everyone here can provide ideas for that and give you ways to get through it.</div><div>
  </div><div>While certain locations aren't ideal, you are choosing to marry this man.  That could come with moves throughout the years and bad schedules.  If you are going to put up a fight about it everytime then you might want to have a serious discussion about it and decide if that's the life you want to live.  You might be in Arizona or a different area for many years before getting to move back to NY, if ever.  People wait for years and years to get off the Mexico border, and it's not easy.  You need to decide if this is something you're okay with and willing to live with.  
  
  </div>

  

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  ggirl2001 member

  

  July 2012

  Yeah ditto beachy. The guys i know in BP have been in Arizona or El centro for 5+ years and can't even get transfers back right now.

  

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  crownsuperstar member

  

  July 2012

  As always GG has wonderful advise!
  
  I am almost over this deployment and I will say that it is much easier than I thought it would be and that is because I listened to very good advise and that is to stay busy.  I started these great work out classes with a friend, planned weekend trips to see other friends, had wine nights/movie nights with girl friends and caught up on trash tv. 
  
  I can say that moves are going to happen and they may not be wher eyou want to go but  you just make the most of it. I just learned where we will be going next and to say that I was not excited was an understatment but I researched the area and found lots of really cool things to do so I am super excited to move there.  Is that going to be the place where we will live forever? NO, but the way I look at it is that I can do anything for two years. 
  
  Good luck!

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  USMCBride90

  

  July 2012

  While your situation is not quite the same, you might benefit from the advice of the girls on this board. One of the most important things I've learned over the last few years of FI's military career - embrace any changes that may come your way and roll with the punches. Instead of thinking of it as being left behind, think of it as an adventure that the two of you are going on together. Use the time apart to do things YOU have always wanted to do. Make some goals for yourself and work towards them. Pick up a new hobby. I don't know if you have a job, but if not I suggest finding one. I work full time and that honestly takes up the majority of my days and keeps me more than busy.
  
  It's all about the attitue you have. Change your mindset and you'll have a whole new outlook on the situation. Honestly, if I were to sit around and mope while FI is away, I wouldn't even want to be around myself. That is no way to live your life!

  

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  divinemsbee member

  

  July 2012

  A very good friend of mine just married a border patrol agent here in TX, he's actually just left the border patrol and is training now to become a customs agent. That's what it took to get them out of BFE Texas. Where they've been living for the past 3 years is definitely not anywhere she would have chosen to live, but, she made the best of it, that's all you can do. Her H left for training earlier this summer and won't be done with his training until almost the New Year, so that's when she's moving from Texas to the East Coast, where they're trying to buy a house. My FI has not yet deployed, but there have been times that he's gone for months at a time, so we spend time talking and I like to think I'm helping her through this a little. 

  
  

  Agree with PPs--You just have to go with the flow. Pick up a hobby, maybe learn Spanish, if you don't know it already (really useful). 

  
  

  I actually find separations easier when I'm in our house surrounded by our things. It grounds me and makes me feel like this, however temporary, is home. I realize that you'll be packing soon, but just focus on the fact that you and all your things, are going to be in your new home before you know it. 

  

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