Pictures at Funerals? Regional?

Blueyed228 · April 2011

This practice fascinates me. I had never seen it happen until my cousin passed away in Alabama. We flew down to attend and there were a few things that stuck out to me.

First- we were grossly over dressed. I wore a black dress and heels. The main attire was jeans, t-shirts, and baseball hats.

Second- There was country music being played at the church (Baptist) while people arrived.

Third- there was a LOT of pictures being taken of the casket etc.

This is something that is not practiced where I am from, and I was really off put by it. Im not sure why. Probably because I have never seen it before. And probably because I think of death as something private, not to be documented in photos.

Is this done where you are from?

Anysunrise · April 2011

Taking pictures of the casket is totally weird imo.

lisarose7 · April 2011

When my father's mother died, one of our relatives took a picture of her in the casket and sent it to us as a keepsake. We all thought it was a little creepy.

maratea · April 2011

I don't think it's common around here to take pictures at a funeral. But I'm pretty sure some people hire professional photographers for funerals, especially funerals of stillborn children (there was a thread on TN last week).

midgetthemighty · April 2011

I don't believe that I have ever seen that and I would be weirded out by it as well (and I take pictures of just about everything). When I read the title, I thought you meant pictures of the deceased/their loved ones on posters and such which is totally common. Taking pictures there, not local to NKY/OH area.

Bkseller13 · April 2011

Sounds more like a town/regional type thing. I've been raised that you dress well at funerals to show respect for the deceased. Perhaps the style of dress was what they thought your cousin would "want" them to wear. That's the only explanation I can come up with.

As for the photo taking, EEEWW.

anna.oskar · April 2011

I don't think I have ever attended a non-press event funeral/wake/memorial that had anyone take a picture.

I find it wrong but I'm not sure why.

reddy123 · April 2011

I unfortunately have seen this done a lot.

Secondly, it's a really big deal to me to wear really nice clothes to a funeral. I have been to a few gang-related funerals and was appalled by the apparel. I'm glad they all came to show respect and to mourn, that is the point of a funeral, but the 'respect' part comes with how you are dressed, imo.

jaycee7389 · April 2011

yeah i've never heard of a funeral like that either. i know my aunt took a picture of my grandfather in his casket (which most of us thought was really creepy) but it comforted her so whatever. that was about the extent of it though..

maratea · April 2011

Most people around here dress for funerals like they would dress for church. And I've been to a few funerals where music was playing softly in the background. Like for my cousin, the family made a CD with his favorite songs and had it playing during the viewing and while people were seated for the funeral service.

JenGin74 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_pictures-funerals-regional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4a353201-2c53-4f56-9537-44e7d4ed0129Post:e656c511-19a1-4d4d-a6ef-7defe0320df9">Re: Pictures at Funerals? Regional?</a>:
[QUOTE]When my father's mother died, one of our relatives took a picture of her in the casket and sent it to us as a keepsake. We all thought it was a little creepy.
Posted by lisarose7[/QUOTE]

That would freak me thefuck out.

MLekathLEEN · April 2011

I have only seen people take pictures once. I wouldn't do it but if it helps the loved one wither their grieving, who am I to judge?

I went to my cousin's funeral yesterday and FI was mentioning how so many people were under dressed. He wore a suit and I had a dress on but there were some in jeans and baggy logo t-shirts.

My cousin's hockey friends were also tailgating in the parking lot. Now THAT is nothing I've ever seen at a funeral. They did it at the visitation the day before too. Some people in the family were offended by it but I don't think my cousin would have minded.

Y I Oughta · April 2011

Taking pictures of the casket, or of any of the grieving family members is just creepy and weird.

I can image going through the family album years later. "Oh look, here's aunt Mirnas funeral, just look at how puffy my eyes were and your uncle couldn't stop crying to smile. But isn't the casket pretty. Too bad we had to bury it"

Ok, that's enough out of me. I think I just creeped myself out a little.

allisong23 · April 2011

That is just....weird. Why do people want pictures of a dead body and a corpse? I think I would rather remember them alive, rather than dead and over-made up by a stranger to look like nothing like they did when they were alive.

JenGin74 · April 2011

It's like those death pictues in The Others.

Wrkn925 · April 2011

My mom is a photographer, and she's been asked a few times to take pictures. They requested she come in to the funeral home, before visitors arrived and do it. I don't get it.

We (my family), will take pictures of the flowers.
We gather for a reunion style G2G after the funeral and we will take pictures. But we've never been interested in taking pictures of the deceased.
We'll also take pictures of the plot with the tombstone and flowers.
I took a few quick snapshots of the 21-gun salute at my grandfather's burial.

My aunt had a baby die during childbirth. She took Polaroids of the baby in the casket. That was over 30 years ago, and those are the only pictures she has of him.

I don't want a picture of my loved one in a casket. It's hard enough to try to crowd out the mental image.

ETA: It is not uncommon for people to show up in jeans. I think it is inappropriate, but it is common. A lot of the nurses who knew my family came in scrubs. (That's ok, I was glad to see them there.)

jaycee7389 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_pictures-funerals-regional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4a353201-2c53-4f56-9537-44e7d4ed0129Post:2f04e754-2736-4807-8e00-3d17cedece8a">Re: Pictures at Funerals? Regional?</a>:
[QUOTE]My side of the family takes pictures (casket, people, the whole shebang). I think it's weird and super-creepy. I remember seeing funeral pictures when I was a kid and seeing them gave me nightmares for weeks.
Posted by Champagne Supernova[/QUOTE]

a few years ago i had a professor show us funeral practices from the 1800s or so and they dressed the deceased up and posed them to look like they were alive. they did it with families who had died from disease around the same time and little children also. it absolutely gave me nightmares..the eyes especially.

Blueyed228 · April 2011

It is creepy to me.

That funeral was years ago, but I was reminded of it when I was watching that new show (i think, or a documentry) Relapse on A&E. It was showing a sober house and there was a wall of names of people who died and there was a picture of a guy in a casket.

Although, there was a kid in my town who died last year. He lived in the projects and died on his motorcycle (he was hit from the side, it wasnt his fault). There is a youtube video up showing what happened afterwards. All his friends rode their bikes to the funeral (in jeans and hats and baggy shirts) and outside the church decided to "peel rubber" and smoke out the street. All in "His name" of course.

LessThanZero · April 2011

I have never seen this done, but I have heard of it being done. Someone actually brought this up to me recently but I can't remember who or in regards to what.

Denise91980 · April 2011

I have seen pics from a funeral, and it personally creeps me out. I get it that everyone grieves differently, and certain cultures/religons do not grieve death, but celebrate their lives. I'm guessing it is people who more or less see it as a celebratory event.

On a side and creepier note, there was a guy that graduated HS with my sister who worked as a mortician. He and his GF apparently had their way with the bodies and had pics of them engaging in sexual acts with the bodies. The owner found out and fired him. CREEPTASTIC!

NatesGirl16 · April 2011

No no no no no no no. Just no.

Also, this is probably just a personal thing, but I feel weird even looking at the body if I don't personally know them. I feel like a gawker, even though I know that's not at all what I'm doing. I didn't realize people would be offended/think it was strange that I didn't want to pass in front of the body until N's grandfather's funeral. To me, going up to the casket is to say a personal goodbye.

Blueyed228 · April 2011

Being Greek Orthodox, we are not even supposed to kneel in front of the casket, nevermind take pictures.

SarahPLiz · April 2011

When a friend's FI's dad died, there were family group pictures taken at the funeral. It was weird that everyone was smiling. I think it was an Asian thing.

Y I Oughta · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_pictures-funerals-regional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:4a353201-2c53-4f56-9537-44e7d4ed0129Post:5370b12b-f427-49b1-b888-cb5758270aea">Re: Pictures at Funerals? Regional?</a>:
[QUOTE]No no no no no no no. Just no. Also, this is probably just a personal thing, but I feel weird even looking at the body if I don't personally know them. I feel like a gawker, even though I know that's not at all what I'm doing. I didn't realize people would be offended/think it was strange that I didn't want to pass in front of the body until N's grandfather's funeral. To me, going up to the casket is to say a personal goodbye.
Posted by NatesGirl16[/QUOTE]

Ditto all of this. If I wasn't close to the person, I'm not going up close. I only go up to say goodbye to close family and close friends. Other than that, I just feel weird.

Nina0528 · April 2011

I've never seen it done in person, but when I worked in a photo lab there was an Asian family that would always print out funeral pictures (they seemed to go to a lot, the pictures were usually different). I assumed it was a cultural thing, but it always made me a bit uncomfortable to see their funeral pictures.

neelynicole · April 2011

I've never seen that. Creepy.

At my uncle's funeral last week, they were videotaping the entire service. But I think that was all just the TV news crews since he was such a big deal and they had been talking about his death on the news every night. It was kinda weird to see me and FI on the clips they showed. It was closed casket, btw. I think if it was open casket, they might not have let the TV people film.

I always dress nicely, and in black, for funerals. At that same funeral, FI and I felt overdressed compared to a lot of the other people (mind you, there were about a thousand people there). He was a rancher, and a lot of the community are ranchers/cowboys. So of course a lot of people showed up in the 'cowboy suit' of boots, jeans, and a button up. It's just the area and the kind of people they are. But it was odd to see a few women wearing white. Cowboy or not, that just doesn't fit with an American funeral IMO.

pirategal03 · April 2011

It's not unusual in my family to take pictures of the other family members there, or of the church or flowers or gravesite, but I've never seen anyone take a photo of the casket. We also typically gather after a funeral for food and whatnot and there are photos then. I don't think that part is weird.

Some of my relatives have been known to show up in denim at a funeral. I always feel over dressed, I'm usually in a skirt or dress (only black if I'm very close to the deceased).

DodgersBride · April 2011

I have never seen it done. I heard of people doing this. For my aunt's mass there was not a body but had there been no one would have taken pictures. We also dress up, not always in black though. For my aunts funeral I wore a pink dress black tights and a black cardigan.

It would upset me had someone taken pictures at my dad's funeral. I really can't get mad at someone for not dressing up but I definitely would feel uncomfortable if I was the was under dressed. With that said we did bury my dad is shorts and a nice button down shirt. It was one our wishes since he was not the type to wear suit.

cupcakesfrosting · April 2011

When my friend passed away last year, we had a picture / flower "memorial" on the front table of the church. A lot of people took pictures of that.

Then when we had his celebration of life after, there were a lot of people taking pictures of his ATV and a bottle of Jack Daniels that was on it (Jack was his favorite).

There was a casket (NOT open) and I think some people took pictures of it, but it made me want to throw up, so I refused to be in any pictures. I was crying too hard anyway.

TaffetaDarlingTaffeta · April 2011

I was asked to take post-mortem photos at my grandpa's funeral. I guess it didn't bother me at all but can see where people don't understand it. Obviously, it's out-of practice but some familes want it for one reason or another. I kind of find the victorian post-mortem pictures interesting, yes uncomfortable and creepy looking at times but an interesting study into departed practices. Yes, pun intended.

crash2729 · April 2011

We took pictures at my Grandfathers funeral but it was a military funeral, nothing we had see before and we probably won't see it again.

Pictures at Funerals? Regional?

Re: Pictures at Funerals? Regional?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards