Pictures at Funerals? Regional?

kd.joseph

That's weird we were just having this conversation last night.

DH's cousin died, and he and his sister drove down for the funeral (southern Ohio), and I asked them last night if anyone took pictures because I think it's weird too but it's common in his family. They have pictures of his fathers and g-ma's funeral.

I know when my sister died, my nieces kept wanting Mom and I to stand by the casket, Uh NO! It's not our thing and we find it creepy. I still dont know where my nieces learned this weird tradition.

TheBeckmeister

I remember my mom took pictures at her mother's funeral.  I think she sent the pictures to my great-uncle who lives in England and wasn't able to attend the funeral.  It's a little strange - what kind of reaction would you have if you opened an envelope and unexpectantly saw your sister in her casket?  Weird.

My mother has also taken group pictures of us (cousins, etc) at funerals because we're all in the same place (which doesn't happen often anymore) and we all look decent.

Maybe my mom's just the weird one...

vegasgroom

Funny this thread should come up because I've been spending the past few weeks scanning thousands of 35mm slides that my dad took from my birth year on and a few days ago I scanned in a bunch that he took at his father's funeral.  He didn't take any of the wake or funeral home, but the burial where the casket was already closed he took, his mom, siblings, Army firing squad, cemetary, etc.  I was pretty young at the time and have only vague memories of that day so I'm kind of glad he took the pics; I feel closer to him (granddad) and my grandmother (also deceased now) after having seen those pics as I've been to very few family funerals, fortunately, and only two on my father's side (those two grand parents).

akenny

When Chris's grandma died, his grandfather asked one of his cousins to take a picture of her.

The next time we were at the house, he had it printed out on the dining room table mixed in with his mail so he could look at it every day.  It was really sad, and very weird at the same time.  We've had a lot of deaths in our family, and I have never ever seen this done before.

I felt so bad for his cousin who had to actually take the picture and print it out.  She was so creeped out.

mattsdorothy

I've only been to one funeral where it was done, and I was offput. It was my grandfather's funeral and my aunt had a friend of hers come and take family photos. I mean, I get why she wanted to do it - because that is the first time our entire family has been in one room since the funeral before my grandpa's... It just felt strange because since no one knew the guy taking pictures, it felt like he'd been hired to do it. So strange.
I would say, though, that that side of my family is generally inappropriate when it comes to death. My aunt (same aunt) was holding my grandfather's hand while he was in the casket and refusing to let go and we all got drunk together that evening and my sister puked red wine up for about an hour or so the next morning before the service. Oy.

Steph0871

I've only been to one funeral in my life (and it was my best friend, who was killed at 19 by a drunk driver.)  I'm probably not the best expert on this.

That being said, it would creep me the fvck out to see this.  I mean, the deceased don't really even look like THEM at that point anyway.  I'd much rather remember the person as they looked while they were living.

I did wear jeans to the visitation, but I had to run over between school and work.  The next day for the service, though, I definitely dressed up.  Most of the people at the visitation were in more casual clothes, but everyone dressed up for the actual service.

ExpatPumpkin

Our wedding photographer keeps a blog, and I found this entry about a year ago:

http://jaredwilsonphotography.com/index.cfm?postID=82

He'd photographed their wedding only months before, and when the groom died in duty, the bride asked our photographer to come shoot the funeral.  I think the results were quite beautiful.

AnnaKay12

I've never seen this done at a funeral of which I've been in attendance. However, an old friend of mine from HS passed away a couple of years ago and his mother took a picture of his open casket at the wake and posted it as his facebook profile picture. I found it wildly inappropriate for such an image to be posted on FB, and the whole thing really creeped me out.

achiduck

I'm from Ontario and we definitely don't do this. At my mom's funeral, we have a recording of the service (it's common practice in my church to record services/funerals, etc for shut-ins/family that couldn't make it, etc) and the cards that came on the flowers, or in the mail but no pictures. 

It's weird and I don't think I'd want to do this. 

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_pictures-funerals-regional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:4a353201-2c53-4f56-9537-44e7d4ed0129Post:28ece6a3-bd31-44c8-bef6-efe9641e2ebe">Re: Pictures at Funerals? Regional?</a>:
[QUOTE]Our wedding photographer keeps a blog, and I found this entry about a year ago: <a href="http://jaredwilsonphotography.com/index.cfm?postID=82" rel='nofollow'>http://jaredwilsonphotography.com/index.cfm?postID=82</a> He'd photographed their wedding only months before, and when the groom died in duty, the bride asked our photographer to come shoot the funeral.  I think the results were quite beautiful.
Posted by ExpatPumpkin[/QUOTE]

Those were awesome pictures. It definitely made me tear up a little.

NuggetBrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_pictures-funerals-regional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:4a353201-2c53-4f56-9537-44e7d4ed0129Post:2251c4f6-b050-48e4-9fa0-b92270712e82">Re: Pictures at Funerals? Regional?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have only seen people take pictures once. I wouldn't do it but if it helps the loved one wither their grieving, who am I to judge? I went to my cousin's funeral yesterday and FI was mentioning how so many people were under dressed. He wore a suit and I had a dress on but there were some in jeans and baggy logo t-shirts.<strong> My cousin's hockey friends were also tailgating in the parking lot.</strong> Now THAT is nothing I've ever seen at a funeral. They did it at the visitation the day before too. Some people in the family were offended by it but I don't think my cousin would have minded.
Posted by MLekathLEEN[/QUOTE]

I would lose my goddamn mind if someone did that at a funeral of my loved one.  How incredibly disrespectful.

sarah0725

I don't really have a problem with how anyone chooses to mourn a deceased person, including taking pictures or dressing less formally than would be accepted in some circles. Anything to do with funerals is more for the living people than the dead person anyway.

I've also seen a lot of those Victorian death photos, and I find them more creepy-cool than creepy-scary. So maybe I'm weird. But that was also a culture that picnicked in cemeteries because they were some of the only green spaces near cities, and became fascinated with photographing anything and everything when photography became popular. One advantage of photographing a dead person - when exposure times are a few minutes long and your subject needs to sit still, dead people aren't going anywhere.

Wrkn925

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_pictures-funerals-regional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:4a353201-2c53-4f56-9537-44e7d4ed0129Post:28ece6a3-bd31-44c8-bef6-efe9641e2ebe">Re: Pictures at Funerals? Regional?</a>:
[QUOTE]Our wedding photographer keeps a blog, and I found this entry about a year ago: <a href="http://jaredwilsonphotography.com/index.cfm?postID=82" rel='nofollow'>http://jaredwilsonphotography.com/index.cfm?postID=82</a> He'd photographed their wedding only months before, and when the groom died in duty, the bride asked our photographer to come shoot the funeral.  I think the results were quite beautiful.
Posted by ExpatPumpkin[/QUOTE]

Those pictures were amazing.  I teared up a little.  Thanks for sharing.

Blueyed228

I dont think it would bother me if someone was taking pictures of things other than the deceased person in the casket if it was what they wanted to do.

I personally would not want pictures taken of me and my family mourning.  I feel it is a private thing. 

SKBrooke

Well I'm from a small town in TN... like VERY SMALL town in TN in the Smoky Mountains.  So we very often get the "mountain folk" aka hillbilly classification whether justified or not but 1) We ALWAYS dress up for a funeral and 2) Taking pictures is WAY creepy!  We don't do that... Now all that being said, I drove by the funeral home the other night and people were standing outside in jeans and ratty tshirts.  I have never seen that before in my life and I was appalled!!!!  So I guess it happens everywhere but even here in my small little mountain town, it's not the norm.

NatesGirl16

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_pictures-funerals-regional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:4a353201-2c53-4f56-9537-44e7d4ed0129Post:f7ad6ffb-a7b6-4734-b165-9661c1770fb3">Re: Pictures at Funerals? Regional?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've never seen this done at a funeral of which I've been in attendance. However, an old friend of mine from HS passed away a couple of years ago and his mother took a picture of his open casket at the wake and posted it as his facebook profile picture. I found it wildly inappropriate for such an image to be posted on FB, and the whole thing really creeped me out.
Posted by AnnaKay12[/QUOTE]

Whhhhaaaaaaaa?!?!?! My eyebrows fell off of my face.