Chit Chat

'What size is your ring?'

If someone asked you that question, what would you assume they were asking?

I got asked that today by a (notoriously bitchy) co-worker, who's insanely jealous of anyone who's younger than she is (she's 36) who gets engaged or married before she does. (She's been with her 19-year-old BF for two years, from the day he turned 18 on).

So I kind of looked at her and was like, "Uhm....6.5?" Because I assumed she was asking what my ring size is. Which is still an odd question, but whatever.

Then she says, "No, no, I mean, how big is your stone? How many carats?"

I said, "Oh, it's a whole lot of none of your damn business, thanks!"

One of my co-workers, who hates her even more than I do, said, "It's bigger than yours, because you don't have one yet, and you're jealous."

We work in news, and that statement managed to silence the whole room.
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I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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Re: 'What size is your ring?'

  • natswildnatswild The F-f-f-rozen N-n-north (Northern Alberta)
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    that's an awesome response!

  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains
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    edited December 2013
    I think my response would be "Why would you want to know that?" and then watch as they stammered.

    ETA Disclaimer: I am NEY and obviously have not implemented this. Success is nebulous at best. Hey, it's a theory.
    HisGirlFriday13hlvonbPrettyGirlLost
  • I can endorse that theory, @KeptInStitches! It seems like it would work.

    I was just taken aback -- lots of people have asked me what size my ring is in the sense of 6, 6.5, etc. Because I am tall, with long fingers, my fingers/hands *look* smaller than they are. So I'm fine with answering that. It's like my shoe size. Whatever.

    I just couldn't believe she asked the carat weight. 
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • HaileyDancingbearHaileyDancingbear Arkham Asylum
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    That's awesome.  I like that you didn't put up with her crap XD
    If someone asked me that it would depend on the person.  If I were in your situation, I'd get annoyed and probably say something equally sassy.   
    A friend of mine did ask how many carats my ring was- I have a moonstone, so since it's a cheaper gem my FI could afford a larger carat weight, I think it's about 3.3 carats and oval cut.  So when I showed her my ring she said something along the lines of "Wow it's pretty, how many carats is that?"  If anyone else said it in a different context I'd be annoyed, but I could tell she was just asking because she was genuinely curious, and she's not a catty person, so I didn't mind.  
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  • Lol...the title of your post made me think ...umm 7.5? I wish I could talk that way at work! I work in a very PC environment.
    HisGirlFriday13hlvonb
  • cruffino said:
    Lol...the title of your post made me think ...umm 7.5? I wish I could talk that way at work! I work in a very PC environment.
    I'm just glad to know I'm not crazy for defaulting to thinking she meant size of the band.

    The one nice thing about working in news is that basically NOTHING is off-limits. We are some of the most heartless, cruel, obnoxious, jaded, cynical people ever. 

    I actually just told a co-worker, "Oh, fuck you." I meant it jokingly, and it was said with a laugh, so he didn't take offence, but that's totally normal.

    We only have to clean up our language when the Cub Scouts come tour the place. :)
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    hlvonb
  • I definitely said 4.5 in my head as I was clicking on the thread. How inappropriate. I'm so glad that your co-worker got a sting in! 

    HisGirlFriday13
  • She may have had it coming but I am surprised you talk to a co-worker that way.   Doesnt it make things in the work place uncomfortable?
  • She may have had it coming but I am surprised you talk to a co-worker that way.   Doesnt it make things in the work place uncomfortable?
    Again -- we work in news. It's very much part of the culture to be screaming F-bombs at each other one minute and being totally nice the next. Because the industry -- especially TV -- is so high-pressure, it's just how we blow off steam.

    Also, this is the co-worker that NO ONE likes, and this was, for me, the final straw. She is condescending, obnoxious, rude, malevolent, mean, and vindictive. I have to tolerate her for my job. I do not have to endure ridiculous personal questions from her. 
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    PolarBearFitzTchavon1984mimiphin
  • I think my response would be "Why would you want to know that?" and then watch as they stammered.

    ETA Disclaimer: I am NEY and obviously have not implemented this. Success is nebulous at best. Hey, it's a theory.

    What does NEY mean? @hisgirlfriday good for you! What a rude question.
  • jdluvr06 said:
    I think my response would be "Why would you want to know that?" and then watch as they stammered.

    ETA Disclaimer: I am NEY and obviously have not implemented this. Success is nebulous at best. Hey, it's a theory.

    What does NEY mean? @hisgirlfriday good for you! What a rude question.
    NEY = Not Engaged Yet. It's also a board on the forums.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • Oh and to the original post, WTF who the hell asks someone that?

    And maybe I'm crazy but saying something is "none of your damn business" is about a 1 on the "offensive" scale and asking someone the carat weight of their e-ring is about a 6 or a 7.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    HisGirlFriday13SheMarie82
  • edited December 2013
    She may have had it coming but I am surprised you talk to a co-worker that way.   Doesnt it make things in the work place uncomfortable?
    Again -- we work in news. It's very much part of the culture to be screaming F-bombs at each other one minute and being totally nice the next. Because the industry -- especially TV -- is so high-pressure, it's just how we blow off steam.

    Also, this is the co-worker that NO ONE likes, and this was, for me, the final straw. She is condescending, obnoxious, rude, malevolent, mean, and vindictive. I have to tolerate her for my job. I do not have to endure ridiculous personal questions from her. 
    It is like this in the restaurant business as well. Sometimes I miss being able to tell my boss to shove it and not get fired! 

    ETA I would have said size 7 as well. Women are so weird sometimes. 



  • jdluvr06 said:
    I think my response would be "Why would you want to know that?" and then watch as they stammered.

    ETA Disclaimer: I am NEY and obviously have not implemented this. Success is nebulous at best. Hey, it's a theory.

    What does NEY mean? @hisgirlfriday good for you! What a rude question.
    NEY = Not Engaged Yet. It's also a board on the forums.
    Ok. Thank you : )
  • My ring doesn't have a single large stone, it is heart shaped made of several small stones.  I had a catty woman ask me that, knowing what she meant.  I said I don't know, those things don't matter, he didn't have anything to prove to me.  She has a HUGE diamond from a man who has cheated on her several times, each cheat there is a new diamond band, ring, earrings, etc.
  • cruffino said:
    Lol...the title of your post made me think ...umm 7.5? I wish I could talk that way at work! I work in a very PC environment.
    I'm just glad to know I'm not crazy for defaulting to thinking she meant size of the band.

    The one nice thing about working in news is that basically NOTHING is off-limits. We are some of the most heartless, cruel, obnoxious, jaded, cynical people ever. 

    I actually just told a co-worker, "Oh, fuck you." I meant it jokingly, and it was said with a laugh, so he didn't take offence, but that's totally normal.

    We only have to clean up our language when the Cub Scouts come tour the place. :)
    This was my thought exactly! I thinking "a 7 FI was happy he didn't have to  worry about resizing since all the rings he looked at were already a 7"...which was how I know I was bored today. If band sizes are interesting enough to reply to it's a sign I need to give up being a stay home fake mom. 
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  • Good for you! You sound so freaking awesome, I can't stand it. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    HisGirlFriday13
  • Way to think on your feet @HisGirlFriday13  and I love the co-worker's response too.
    HisGirlFriday13
  • BlergbotBlergbot An enchanted land
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    While it's an awkward way to phrase it, I would still assume they meant carat. I would probably be really polite about it, but the more awesome, I don't give a fuck version me would probably be like, "Here take a closer look!" SMACK ring in the eye!
  • KytchynWitcheKytchynWitche Ridin' the Zebra
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    That is insane. Some people just have no boundaries.
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  • We were at a Thanksgiving party with some of FI's relatives that I was just meeting for the first time. His step-grandmother made it a point to show off her 12-carat wedding ring, with a 6-carat center stone (of course, she offered this information without my asking). So immediately after her bragging, her granddaughter turns to me and says, "How many carats is yours?"

    Ugh. I was so flabbergasted I just told her. I extremely proud of my ring, and FI did a wonderful job picking it out, but after the 12-carat conversation, I just felt like the wind was blown out of my sails. Who does that?
  • PolarBearFitzPolarBearFitz
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    edited December 2013
    NYCBruin said:
    She may have had it coming but I am surprised you talk to a co-worker that way.   Doesnt it make things in the work place uncomfortable?
    Really?

    I've heard at least ten more offensive things at work...in the last 30 minutes.
    The bolded makes me wonder if you work? If there isn't something offensive said or something being joked about in my office it means the sarcasm is broken and someone should call the cops.

  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee
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    I've never had anyone ask me, which is good because I have no idea what the carat weight of my ring is.

    PrettyGirlLostgrumbledore
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
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    I totally would have answered that with my band size. Who asks questions like that? What a rude beyotch. 

  • Wow. Just.... wow. *high fives HisGirlFriday13*

     

    HisGirlFriday13
  • I have a sapphire as the main stone, and I have no idea the weight.  And I probably will never know, because I just don't care.  It's beautiful and I love it - the carats mean nothing to me.

    OP, your coworker has some issues if she would ask this so bluntly.  She needs to get over herself.  Also, if she has insecurities about not being married at that age, she needs to talk to someone about it.  It is perfectly acceptable for a woman to be unmarried at any age.  And I mean ANY age - I at one point thought I was never going to get married and I looked forward to that.  Not having an impending marriage in your future is not a curse, and this woman shouldn't be taking out her insecurities on you by asking you rude questions. 
    imageimage
  • kitty8403kitty8403
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    edited December 2013
    I would have assumed she was asking the band size too! Maybe because she was wondering for what would work for someone else or just nosy about your weight.
    I genuinely have no idea how many carats are in mine. (Edit) Course, I don't know my band size either, other than it's too big and needs to be redone.
  • I would have thought band size as well.  And if I was asked that, since I don't know, I would say "perfect."  Because it just is.
  • I too would have went to band size. She asked what size is your ring, not gem.

    This convo came up with a few of my friends/coworkers when we were having lunch a few months ago. I hate that women judge each other based on such petty things.even if it is not intentional its almost as if our bling validates our relationship and status.

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