When I first got engaged, I asked a close friend of mine to be one of my bridesmaids. I only have two of them. She was very happy and said she'd love to be in the bridal party. The best man is actually my fiance's sister, so we're going a bit non traditional and everyone is going to walk down the aisle single file. There were no required dresses to buy, I told everyone to just pick out a nice dress they liked, even though David Tutera makes fun of this tactic because I knew the wedding party all had different budgets and much different body types. They all actually wanted to pick blue dresses so I said sure that works for me!
I hung out with her a few more times after that. She came to my original wedding venue with me and kept saying how excited and happy she was for me.
Then all of a sudden, she stopped communicating with me. Out of nowhere, I would ask her to get together, but she'd reply, "No it's okay, we don't have to, I know you're busy." I'd tell her that I wasn't too busy to hang out with her, and if she'd like to get together just let me know when she was free. She'd never reply. I'd start a conversation with her over Facebook or text to see if it could break the ice since she claimed she didn't answer the phone due to being at work, and she'd get as far as saying hello and asking how I was doing before the conversation would go dead. Every time I asked if she wanted to catch up, she'd claim that I was the one who was too busy for things like that.
She didn't show up at my bridal shower. Afterwards, she sent me an apology on Facebook about not making it. I said hello and asked how everything was, but that's as far as the conversation went again.
She's RSVP'd as coming to the wedding, but won't talk to me otherwise, won't get together face to face. I feel awkward and rude just leaving her a voicemail or message that says, "Hey, was wondering if you are still interested in being in the wedding," because I almost feel like she's trying to get me to ask about it. I know situations change, I just don't know why this one did. She's been posting a lot about doing tons of other stuff with another group of friends, nearly every weekend.
I will admit though that she was always sort of the opposite of a fair weather friend. I always thought she was very kind, but she loves gossip and drama, and tends to ask me about things that happened years ago in a way that's almost embarrassing. She caused problems at work when we all worked together from spreading a lot of gossip and was nearly fired at one point. But it was years ago and I don't want to hold that against her, even though now I'm wondering if maybe she is either trying to stir something up or just got bored and is hoping I start something with her? I don't want to think of my friend like that, she has literally never done anything like this to ME before... but now that I'm typing this I realize it all sounds sort of naive. Blagh.
Anyway, do I leave her a tacky voicemail since she won't answer me otherwise? Or should I assume she's not being in the bridal party and just have someone else step in?