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MIL - Is this Normal?

FutureMrsMeratiFutureMrsMerati member
First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
in Wedding Woes
Sooo today happens to be my birthday and I received this text from my MIL. Just for background, my husband and I will be married for 2 months October 9.

"Happy birthday!!!! I'm trying to right a wrong - we forgot to take a few photos @ the wedding - there are no shots of Michelle [my husband's brother's girlfriend] with any of us, there are no shots of Mike & Diane [my husband's aunt & uncle] with any of us and no shots of Mike & Melissa [MIL/FIL close friends] with you and Michael sooooooo Did you put your gown in storage yet? Would it be possible to recreate & take photos with these people this weekend if it is not supposed to rain - please let me know so I can get ahold of everyone to come over & take photos in the yard - it will be done fast - hopefully this will smooth some ruffled feathers - I feel horrible about this - I feel like such a dope for not remembering these pictures - so let me know if this is possible to correct a really bad situation! See you this weekend!!!!"

Have you ever heard of someone making a big deal about not getting a photo with the bride & groom or parents? I have never heard of this in my life and am rubbed a little wrong about all of it. While there aren't any pics of them directly with us or possibly with MIL/FIL, I am having a hard time believing we need to get dressed up in our wedding outfits (which are disgusting from the wedding as I haven't had a chance to get mine cleaned yet), do our hair and makeup really nicely, to take photos in someones back yard. There were only 150+ of our closest friends and family, and I just find it kind of unbelievable that someone would actually complain to someone after a wedding about any of this. Please let me know if I'm messing up here and this is a common request! I might be a little sensitive because it seems like my birthday wish was an afterthought, and she's picking now as the time to talk about this almost two months after our wedding. Thanks! :) 
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Re: MIL - Is this Normal?

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    tawillerstawillers member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    What?

    Are the guys supposed to rent tuxes again while the women wear the dresses they wore to your wedding?

    This is weird.  Why can't you all just take a normal picture sans wedding stuff?
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    PMeg819PMeg819 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    That is weird. I would have your husband possibly talk to her and see what the deal is. If she's trying to smooth ruffled feathers for those individuals, then I guess I'd be okay with it. Maybe.

    But damn, this is just so weird.
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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    IDK, I kinda loved my wedding dress, so any reason to wear it again would probably be fine with me.

    But it does seem odd.  I mean, these aren't really close family relations, so BFD?
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    jacques27jacques27 member
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    I was in the "not entirely weird" camp until she mentioned the dress and recreating the photo op.  My family tends to use these sorts of occasions as an opportunity to get as many family photos/portraits done as possible (so not just your usual bride/groom/bridal party/parent photos) because it's not that often that the whole family is together and dressed nicely.  So, I could maybe see "Hey, we didn't get family photos with X, Y, and Z folks and want photos of them, too," but not expecting to actually playact the original moment with the same wardrobe.  But even then, it's kinda weird.
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    HeffalumpHeffalump member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I'm going to go with weird, as well.  And I see your point about the dress not being cleaned or anything yet.  Assuming you sweated in it, maybe got some makeup or something on it (or food, if you're me, but I digress), hem is probably dirty, etc., I'd be a little skeeved about putting it back on.  Especially for what seems like a dumb reason (to me). 

    MIL sounds like one of those people who can't tell others "tough shit." ("Hopefully this will smooth some ruffled feathers" doesn't even sound like she cares, as much as she's trying to placate others.)  People like this love to try to pass the buck, so she can ask you to do something crazy, and then if you don't go along with it, then she can be all "I really wanted to take those photos but FutureMrsMerati refused, woe is me, I did everything I could" instead of just accepting the situation for what it is.

    If you have a great relationship with your MIL, and this is unusual for her, and your H doesn't think it's too awful, and you're okay with it, it can't hurt.  Otherwise, sorry MIL, that ship has sailed.

    You can tell her there's always Photoshop.  ;)
    http://clientsfromhell.net/post/95548445446/client-my-fiance-and-i-are-unhappy-with-the

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    *Barbie**Barbie* member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I think it's weird. 

    If it was sooooooooo important to these people, why didn't they ask for a picture with you guys at the wedding? 

    I think you should have your husband give her a call to find out what's going on, and try to understand the reason for the request. I'll second Photoshop - if your photographer is good, and MIL is going to pay, they could probably composite some pictures for her. 

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    weddingcactusweddingcactus member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Answer
    FutureMrsMerati said:
    Sooo today happens to be my birthday and I received this text from my MIL. Just for background, my husband and I will be married for 2 months October 9.

    "Happy birthday!!!! I'm trying to right a wrong - we forgot to take a few photos @ the wedding - there are no shots of Michelle [my husband's brother's girlfriend] with any of us, there are no shots of Mike & Diane [my husband's aunt & uncle] with any of us and no shots of Mike & Melissa [MIL/FIL close friends] with you and Michael sooooooo Did you put your gown in storage yet? Would it be possible to recreate & take photos with these people this weekend if it is not supposed to rain - please let me know so I can get ahold of everyone to come over & take photos in the yard - it will be done fast - hopefully this will smooth some ruffled feathers - I feel horrible about this - I feel like such a dope for not remembering these pictures - so let me know if this is possible to correct a really bad situation! See you this weekend!!!!"

    Have you ever heard of someone making a big deal about not getting a photo with the bride & groom or parents? I have never heard of this in my life and am rubbed a little wrong about all of it. While there aren't any pics of them directly with us or possibly with MIL/FIL, I am having a hard time believing we need to get dressed up in our wedding outfits (which are disgusting from the wedding as I haven't had a chance to get mine cleaned yet), do our hair and makeup really nicely, to take photos in someones back yard. There were only 150+ of our closest friends and family, and I just find it kind of unbelievable that someone would actually complain to someone after a wedding about any of this. Please let me know if I'm messing up here and this is a common request! I might be a little sensitive because it seems like my birthday wish was an afterthought, and she's picking now as the time to talk about this almost two months after our wedding. Thanks! :) 

    Let me get this straight. She feels like she made a mistake and/or slighted these people by not having pictures taken with them at your wedding? So she thinks it will "right the wrong" and/or "correct the situation" by forcing these people (and you of course) to get dolled up and take fake "wedding" photos because she forgot them in the first place? Yowza. It sure seems like making people come for "do over"/forgotten pictures would be incredibly hurtful and would only make the situation worse. I have never ever heard of this before. I would absolutely ask the husband to talk to your MIL about this and hopefully both of you can be on the same page about what an uncomfortable situation this would be.
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    hmonkeyhmonkey member
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    WHO IS PAYING FOR THE PHOTOGRAPHER
    image
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    bahamabride2015bahamabride2015 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    hmonkey said:
    WHO IS PAYING FOR THE PHOTOGRAPHER
    And your hair, makeup, flowers, tux rentals etc etc etc... This woman seems nuts and honestly as and of those people that she mentioned who didn't get pics with you, I would turn down this weird re-do... actually I wouldn't complain about not being in pics anyway.  But certainly no re-do.
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    *Barbie**Barbie* member
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    @FutureMrsMerati - can we have an update?
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    MegEn1MegEn1 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Why can't someone just recommend getting dressed nicely and having some nice photos taken of a family day? You can't 'recreate' wedding memories and photos. The day is done. Have another day, a family picnic or whatever, and if MIL feels so bad she can fork out for a photog to make it up to everyone.

    Achievement Unlocked: Survived Your Wedding! 
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    *Barbie* said:
    I think it's weird. 

    If it was sooooooooo important to these people, why didn't they ask for a picture with you guys at the wedding? 

    I think you should have your husband give her a call to find out what's going on, and try to understand the reason for the request. I'll second Photoshop - if your photographer is good, and MIL is going to pay, they could probably composite some pictures for her. 

    Yes!  This!  I have no problem going up to my friends and saying, "hey, I'd like to get a picture with you."  Or, "hey, let's get the whole college group back together.  No, the husbands can take the pictures with our cameras, they don't get to be in this picture."  I would absolutely tell the MIL no on this request.  But if she wants to arrange for a photographer to come to the house the next time you're all in town for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or a backyard BBQ, you'd be happy to pose and smile.
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    FutureMrsMeratiFutureMrsMerati member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    Hi everyone - Thanks so much for your feedback! 

    After I posted this, I also realized we specifically asked them for a shot list to provide to our photographer to make sure a situation exactly like this did not happen! Go figure, at the time they said they didn't have any photos that they wanted. My family gave me a few shots, and no one has complained about not being in the photos! 

    When I explained the situation to my husband, he called his mom and basically told her it was absolutely ridiculous, that he's sorry she did not take our request for a shot list seriously at the time of the wedding but we don't have any extra time or money to recreate our special day, when our photographer for that day already cost over $6k! He also asked her to be more considerate to me and not send me a barrage of texts about nonsense on my birthday, of all days.

    She said she understood and that it was just one of her "crazy ideas", but she always reaches out to ME (not my husband) and puts me a weird spot since I'm her daughter-in-law. She said she still wants us to come up this weekend, and I think we are going to be busy :) I've had enough for one week!! 
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    whitniedaviswhitniedavis member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Sounds like your MIL has a case of the importance. Tell her that you're busy, you don't want to, or even that it's going to be too much of a hassle. Who cares.
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