Eff it stage of wedding planning

maeday2 · January 2015

I don't know if it's a post-holiday hangover or if I really don't care, but I have zero motivation to finish wedding planning. I know others have posted along the same lines lately so I know I'm not alone. I told myself I'd hit the ground running in January and get this all wrapped up, but now I just want to nap.

The big stuff is done. It's the nitty gritty that makes me want to say eff it.

When did your "eff it stage" of wedding planning kick in?

Kick me in the ass and make me do all the stuffs please.

novella1186 · January 2015

I got engaged November 30 in 2013. Right around Christmas we picked our venue and set our date for this May (so we had a year and a half to plan). But I was so excited I booked EVERYTHING major (band, DJ, caterer, etc etc etc) and bought my dress by last March.

Then I had to force myself to chill out a little because it was too soon to do the other stuff. My sister was supposed to be my MOH but she went psycho at our engagement party in July, which was right in the midst of me making myself chill out. So that combined with her psycho-ness and my family being generally awful to deal with in regards to the wedding made all my fucks fly right out the window.

I had to really really force myself to get moving again when it was time to send out STDs, order invitations, etc. I just did not care, had no interest, did not want to do a thing. I now have a few fucks but nowhere near as close to what I did a year ago.

luckya23 · January 2015

I'm pretty sure I was always in it! I wanted a certain date though, so I was interested in getting a venue ASAP, and that's about it!

labro · January 2015

Probably the final few weeks before the wedding was when I hit that stage. Between months 4 through 6 I had nothing to do because all of our major vendors were booked and I wasn't doing much DIY. I took a vacation from all wedding planning and didn't really pick things back up until the end of July. The last weeks before the wedding were just the worst. I was extremely busy with work because of the end of the quarter and I was completely over planning. I like planning parties, but planning a party for 10 months was overkill. I started dumping things I just didn't give a shit anymore like finding "something blue", or adding anything really elaborate to the welcome bags, I didn't do any sort of "hospitality" basket for the venue's bathroom, mostly I just stopped caring about anything except the moment we got to say our vows.

lnixon8 · January 2015

When is your wedding?

If you have a checklist and there's nothing dire give yourself a break. My wedding is June 2015 and I got engaged in February 2014. After a horrific experience dress shopping in July I literally wrote "wedding vacation" in my planner and didn't do anything wedding for that time- no pinning, no TK, no magazines, no work, no emailing vendors, changing guest lists etc. Yes I would still talk about it to my Mom and MOH but by the end of the break I was kind of excited to get back to it.

For some reason it didn't feel like procrastinating as much when I wrote it down.

theartistformerlyknownas · January 2015

Congratulations! You have arrived at the most glorious stage of wedding planning. Enjoy it! Embrace the freedom to give zero fucks about things. You are at your most rational state right now - if you think something doesn't matter, it's because it doesn't! Cross it off the list!

maeday2 · January 2015

lnixon8 said:

When is your wedding?
If you have a checklist and there's nothing dire give yourself a break. My wedding is June 2015 and I got engaged in February 2014. After a horrific experience dress shopping in July I literally wrote "wedding vacation" in my planner and didn't do anything wedding for that time- no pinning, no TK, no magazines, no work, no emailing vendors, changing guest lists etc. Yes I would still talk about it to my Mom and MOH but by the end of the break I was kind of excited to get back to it.
For some reason it didn't feel like procrastinating as much when I wrote it down.

May 2. I need to email the baker and finalize the dj. The table/chair rental guy totally changed up my layout of tables so I need to rethink centerpieces. That's the kind of stuff I want to just say, "whatever."

Writing it all down is a good tip. I am very visual and do get gratification when I can physically cross something out rather than check a little box on TK.

maeday2 · January 2015

lolo883 said:

Congratulations! You have arrived at the most glorious stage of wedding planning. Enjoy it! Embrace the freedom to give zero fucks about things. You are at your most rational state right now - if you think something doesn't matter, it's because it doesn't! Cross it off the list!

If I had known there would be congrats in order I would have taken this stance a loooooooong time ago.

novella1186 · January 2015

lolo883 said:

Congratulations! You have arrived at the most glorious stage of wedding planning. Enjoy it! Embrace the freedom to give zero fucks about things. You are at your most rational state right now - if you think something doesn't matter, it's because it doesn't! Cross it off the list!

This is true. This is when all of my DIY projects met an untimely end, the supplies were all shoved in a closet and will never see the light of day again.

flyingfoxes · January 2015

We're having a 16-month engagement, and I took long periods of time off without doing anything. Now we're down to 3.5 months and I'm getting a fire under my ass for the details. We've been picking out vows, music, the card box, getting invites printed, etc. I was blase about it for months, but now I'm getting slightly panicky, lol.

maeday2 · January 2015

novella1186 said:

lolo883 said:

Congratulations! You have arrived at the most glorious stage of wedding planning. Enjoy it! Embrace the freedom to give zero fucks about things. You are at your most rational state right now - if you think something doesn't matter, it's because it doesn't! Cross it off the list!

This is true. This is when all of my DIY projects met an untimely end, the supplies were all shoved in a closet and will never see the light of day again.

I don't think we have many DIY projects. Florist is handling the bouquets/boutonnieres. The rest of flowers will be from the flower market and we can't pick those up until week of. My mom is doing all of those arrangements, bless her.

The only DIY and the biggest one is the invitations. I wanted to save some moolah on this one since most are going to trash them anyway. I have design experience so I'm doing our own and having them printed locally. I need to stop second guessing myself and just pull the trigger on them.

maeday2 · January 2015

mobride2015 said:

We're having a 16-month engagement, and I took long periods of time off without doing anything. Now we're down to 3.5 months and I'm getting a fire under my ass for the details. We've been picking out vows, music, the card box, getting invites printed, etc. I was blase about it for months, but now I'm getting slightly panicky, lol.

Oh gosh, you just sent my heart into my stomach with vows! We had planned to do our own but that has since bit the dust.

You have a similar time frame as me and you sound on your game if you're picking out those things.

We have so much premarital counseling to get through, and that's a huge stressor with a long distance relationship and work schedules. BLAH

novella1186 · January 2015

maeday2 said:

novella1186 said:

lolo883 said:

Congratulations! You have arrived at the most glorious stage of wedding planning. Enjoy it! Embrace the freedom to give zero fucks about things. You are at your most rational state right now - if you think something doesn't matter, it's because it doesn't! Cross it off the list!

This is true. This is when all of my DIY projects met an untimely end, the supplies were all shoved in a closet and will never see the light of day again.

I don't think we have many DIY projects. Florist is handling the bouquets/boutonnieres. The rest of flowers will be from the flower market and we can't pick those up until week of. My mom is doing all of those arrangements, bless her.

The only DIY and the biggest one is the invitations. I wanted to save some moolah on this one since most are going to trash them anyway. I have design experience so I'm doing our own and having them printed locally. I need to stop second guessing myself and just pull the trigger on them.

My DIY projects were all unnecessary crap that I thought would be fun. The ones I did were: used water color paper "torn" into little rectangles and painted with watercolors in our wedding colors to use as seating cards (my mom is gonna calligraphy them for me). Made arrows (cut doll rods, sanded, stained, painted stripes, glued on feathers) to use for escort cards. The end.

The projects that got abandoned: paper flowers for each escort card (got kind of replaced by the arrows which were originally gonna be part of the place setting but with the change in plans I got to make way less arrows), a photo backdrop, luminaria, baby's breath wreathes (changed my mind about that whole style, actually), favors, table runners, and invitations. Ordered invitations from etsy instead.

flyingfoxes · January 2015

I'm kind of freaking because I'm sure there are details I'm missing. We are hiring out decorating for the reception, but that doesn't include junk like the cake cutter. ugh

maeday2 · January 2015

novella1186 said:
My DIY projects were all unnecessary crap that I thought would be fun. The ones I did were: used water color paper "torn" into little rectangles and painted with watercolors in our wedding colors to use as seating cards (my mom is gonna calligraphy them for me). Made arrows (cut doll rods, sanded, stained, painted stripes, glued on feathers) to use for escort cards. The end.

The projects that got abandoned: paper flowers for each escort card (got kind of replaced by the arrows which were originally gonna be part of the place setting but with the change in plans I got to make way less arrows), a photo backdrop, luminaria, baby's breath wreathes (changed my mind about that whole style, actually), favors, table runners, and invitations. Ordered invitations from etsy instead.

Holy cow, woman. Even your abandoned projects are stressing me out.

I will do invitations today. I will, damnit.

mrsk616 · January 2015

take a break from planning. especially if wedding is not for a while. i am in a break because we are over a year out from our date. i will start planning more when weather warms up and i cant do my crafts because its too hot out to crocheting,

pinkcow13 · January 2015

Ha, I'm at that stage right now. I hit it right before the holidays, when the quote from the florist gave me a mini heart attack. I was like screw this, Ill continue in January. And now I'm all Eff it. For the major vendors we just have the officiant and florist left. I have been trying to focus on the honeymoon, though.

I do have to get back into it, though. The wedding is also in May. I guess I can shoot an email to the other 2 florists later on today.

maeday2 · January 2015

mrsk616 said:

take a break from planning. especially if wedding is not for a while. i am in a break because we are over a year out from our date. i will start planning more when weather warms up and i cant do my crafts because its too hot out to crocheting,

I thought planning a wedding in the winter months would help me cope with winter. Nope. I'm with you, warm weather is a good motivator.

I'm at less than 4 months. Plus, I would be such a slack-ass bride to take a break from planning after just having a loooooooong break. I need go go juice to get this thing finished!

HeatherKat · January 2015

Girl, I am right there with you with the "can't bring myself to care but it's getting close enough that I'm starting to panic" thing.

We are five months (from today!) out. We still need to order chairs for the ceremony, figure out ceremony decorations, write our ceremony, write our vows, hire a baker, figure out hair and makeup, order invitations, pick out bands, figure out bridal party attire (tuxes and dresses), figure out how we are doing escort cards (cards? or just a big poster?), decide on ceremony and spotlight dance etc music, I haven't found jewelry that I like yet, still need to get bridal party gifts, get all the "little" stuff for the reception (cake knife, garter, favors). I'm sure there is more I'm forgetting.

I just gave myself a panic attack. Five months is a long time, right?

maeday2 · January 2015

pinkcow13 said:

Ha, I'm at that stage right now. I hit it right before the holidays, when the quote from the florist gave me a mini heart attack. I was like screw this, Ill continue in January. And now I'm all Eff it. For the major vendors we just have the officiant and florist left. I have been trying to focus on the honeymoon, though.

I do have to get back into it, though. The wedding is also in May. I guess I can shoot an email to the other 2 florists later on today.

Be productive so I feel like I need to be, please.

Honeymoon. I can work on that too! That's fun stuff.

Seriously, hearing all of you ladies who are planning weddings in the same month have things left to do is helping big time.

theartistformerlyknownas · January 2015

mobride2015 said:

I'm kind of freaking because I'm sure there are details I'm missing. We are hiring out decorating for the reception, but that doesn't include junk like the cake cutter. ugh

"Junk" is exactly the right word. There couldn't be a less important detail. We used a regular knife from the venue, and forks. Whateva whateva.

ETA look, you wouldn't have even seen it if we had a nice cake cutter.

emmaaa · January 2015

We had a 13 month engagement and my eff moment was about months 9 through 12. I got the big stuff done early on and was really excited at first. Then I was just ready for the wedding to finally be here. I got back into full planning mode right beforehand.

amelisha · January 2015

I shouldn't have clicked. Even reading about this stuff is making me want to run away tomorrow, lol.

I honestly don't know how anyone has the patience for centrepieces and stuff...like, I'm glad someone does because I like attending fancy parties and business events, but the idea of all these details just makes my eyes roll back in my head. I think if I were having a traditional wedding I would have had to hire someone because I actually would never have gotten around to any of this stuff. You guys are amazing for managing to do this, I never could.

maeday2 · January 2015

HeatherKat said:

Girl, I am right there with you with the "can't bring myself to care but it's getting close enough that I'm starting to panic" thing.

We are five months (from today!) out. We still need to order chairs for the ceremony, figure out ceremony decorations, write our ceremony, write our vows, hire a baker, figure out hair and makeup, order invitations, pick out bands, figure out bridal party attire (tuxes and dresses), figure out how we are doing escort cards (cards? or just a big poster?), decide on ceremony and spotlight dance etc music, I haven't found jewelry that I like yet, still need to get bridal party gifts, get all the "little" stuff for the reception (cake knife, garter, favors). I'm sure there is more I'm forgetting.

I just gave myself a panic attack. Five months is a long time, right?

To the bolded, you summed me up perfectly.

Everything else, I legit got anxiety reading. Writing it all out is so sobering. Fuuuuuuuuuuck.

maeday2 · January 2015

I have yet to see an AW wedding post that didn't look beautiful.

I recommend TK CC ladies to form a group to swoop in and save all of these panicked yet don't care brides. The payment is an open bar and a puppy.

pinkcow13 · January 2015

lolo883 said:

mobride2015 said:

I'm kind of freaking because I'm sure there are details I'm missing. We are hiring out decorating for the reception, but that doesn't include junk like the cake cutter. ugh

"Junk" is exactly the right word. There couldn't be a less important detail. We used a regular knife from the venue, and forks. Whateva whateva.

ETA look, you wouldn't have even seen it if we had a nice cake cutter.

We actually received a really nice cake cutter and cake spatula thingy with a gift card to get them personalized as an engagement gift. So we will be using that. Had we not received one, though, I would have totally brought one of the butcher knives we have at home.

hellosweetie1015 · January 2015

That was me pretty much from Second One. All I want is to be married to my FI, so all the Wedding Details that don't involve actually marrying us (i.e., marriage license, officiant, FI, me, witnesses) are completely extraneous and unnecessary to me. (Which is good, because our budget is such that extraneous details aren't gonna happen anyway.)

princessofgenovia · January 2015

Think I'm already there. And I just started. And my wedding is a year away.

We booked our venue and they include so much stuff, I'm kind of like "ok so...yeah...I'm done". Catering and cake are included in our price. They gave us a listed of preferred DJs and florists to work with. And we're hiring one of their wedding planners cause we get a discount if we do and after some number crunching it does work out cheaper if we hire one. So...basically we have to pick out our clothes and what invitations we want.

I put on events for work all the time. It is actually part of my job. But my own wedding? Yeah, lets hire someone else to do this. But my work events are easy, non-fancy things.

sarawifenow · January 2015

I was pretty over wedding planning halfway through our engagement. We were engaged for 7 months, so 3 1/2 months in? I just really didn't care about all the little details.

maeday2 · January 2015

You wanna let me borrow your cool as a cucumber attitude @princessofgenovia ?

I am in a weird don't give a shit/holy shit I have SO much to do tornado.

FI's nieces are our flower girls and they're in the Disney princess stage. He mentioned them wearing their princess dresses in the wedding. I OK'ed it. That's where I'm at.

princessofgenovia · January 2015

mobride2015 said:

I'm kind of freaking because I'm sure there are details I'm missing. We are hiring out decorating for the reception, but that doesn't include junk like the cake cutter. ugh

Never in a million years would I have thought of a cake cutter as a thing I need.

I'm gonna email my venue and see if they provide one. I don't even think we own one at home.

Eff it stage of wedding planning

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