Sorry this is going to be long but I feel like all the info is necessary.
I've mentioned this on here 2 months ago. We had a very small, low budget wedding. We thought it would have been crazy to spend $2,000 on the entire wedding and then $2,000 on a local photographer. So we hired my friend, who is a professional wedding photographer but she does it as a weekend job (not her main job). She had lots of great reviews and we love her style. I do consider her a best friend, we are incredibly close and trust each other like sisters. For that reason, we didn't do a contract (I KNOW MISTAKE). I paid for her $300 flight here, boarded her at my house, took her around on non-wedding days showing her the ocean and all things she had never seen, really went out of my way to make it a good trip for her. I also gave her $500 cash even though she didn't ask for it- I want her to know that I appreciated her and her work and her time that she would put into editing and whatnot.
A few days after the wedding, she sent me about 4 pictures as a teaser so I'd have something for instant gratification (pretty standard for photographers to do). I knew she did a lot of wedding this fall and I didn't want to bug her, so I waited about 3 months before I said anything. At that time, December, I said "Hey, are the pictures done yet? I was really hoping to put them in albums for Christmas gifts for parents". She said I'll email you 1 of each parents and grandparents. I was like "why can't I just get them all on a disc so I can chose the ones I want?" She said something about them being in raw format and they weren't all ready to be put on a disc. I said ok fine and she sent about 5 pictures over email. I kept saying I was still missing the one of H's grammy but she never sent that.
While I was in the salon getting my hair done for the wedding, she took a few pictures of the stylist's preemie newborn (good friend of mine). The stylist emailed her around Christmas also asking if she could get a print to make as a gift and my photographer replied to her that there was a hard drive crash and she lost the pictures. When stylist told me this- I absolutely lost my mind and started bawling. Her pics were taken the same day as mine, so that meant mine were gone too, right? I called her trying to be calm but told her I was sick to my stomach and needed an answer as to the fate of my pictures. She assured me that they were not lost and they were backed up twice, but her laptop was at the shop so even though they are not lost, she can't work on them. I told her if they are lost, do not lie to me and fuck with my emotions while you try to recover them- just tell me straight up right now. She said no, I swear to God yours are not lost. This conversation was two months ago.
Still no pictures. It's now been 5 months since the wedding. I tried to ask her again about 2 weeks ago. I said "Are the pictures going to be ready soon? I don't mean to pester you but I'm really anxious and looking forward to finally seeing them". She said once again- my computer is still in the shop but I'll do them as soon as I get it back. I'm at a breaking point here and I really don't know how to proceed. I've never heard of someone's computer being in the shop for months, usually those things take about a week. I'm still holding the faith right now that she's my friend and she's not lying to me about losing the pictures. But it's really giving me bad anxiety over it and I just want them. I don't know if I try to say anything more stern to her or if I just keep riding it out. I mean how fucking long do I keep waiting and being nice and acting like it's fine? It's not fine with me, I feel really hurt and taken advantage of because I don't think she'd treat a normal "client" this way. But I'm in a hard place because I don't want to say anything that will piss her off and risk never getting my photos. Do you have any shred of advice?