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brides & child free weddings

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Re: brides & child free weddings

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    Knottie47653389Knottie47653389 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Lol. Always going to be a hater out there somewhere.
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    Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Knottie47653389 said:

    Lol. Always going to be a hater out there somewhere.

    Who are you talking to? Do you know what that word means?



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    flantasticflantastic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie47653389 said:

    Lol. Always going to be a hater out there somewhere.

    Oh good, we've moved on to unsubstantiated name-calling as a means to deflect from flawed logic.
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    redoryxredoryx member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    flantastic said:

    My fiance and I decided to not have kids at our wedding, partially for cost, partially for capacity, but mostly because we wanted to give our family a fun reason for a date night. I was a little nervous to bring it up to my cousins that their kids would not be invited to the wedding, but I bit the bullet this past weekend and brought it up and was quite shocked at the response I got. My cousins THANKED me for giving them a fun reason to hire a babysitter and stay out late and have a night free if kids. Not to say they would have an awful time with their kids around, but I know at many family functions they are chasing their kids around and not really able to chat with anyone else because their attention is diverted. Moral of the story, people are happy for you and your special day, and this is your day to be (reasonably) selfish. Many people have been in your shoes and know there are so many constraints to planning a wedding and will understand whatever decision you make.
    Ugh. No. You don't have to invite kids if you aren't close to them and you're setting the guest list. But this is terrible reasoning. If you invited the kids and the parents wanted a night out without the kids, they're still allowed to decline for the kids and accept for themselves and get a babysitter. Stop acting like you're doing them a favor and yet in the same breath talking about how you're "allowed" to be selfish. Which is it?

    Yup, logic fail. Just because you invite children doesn't mean those parents have to take them to your wedding. It's like a bride is telling a parent "I don't trust your ability to know when it's okay to have a night without the kids" 
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    mikenbergermikenberger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    flantastic said:

    Knottie47653389 said:

    Lol. Always going to be a hater out there somewhere.

    Oh good, we've moved on to unsubstantiated name-calling as a means to deflect from flawed logic.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2015
    .
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    Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited April 2015
    redoryx said:

    flantastic said:

    My fiance and I decided to not have kids at our wedding, partially for cost, partially for capacity, but mostly because we wanted to give our family a fun reason for a date night. I was a little nervous to bring it up to my cousins that their kids would not be invited to the wedding, but I bit the bullet this past weekend and brought it up and was quite shocked at the response I got. My cousins THANKED me for giving them a fun reason to hire a babysitter and stay out late and have a night free if kids. Not to say they would have an awful time with their kids around, but I know at many family functions they are chasing their kids around and not really able to chat with anyone else because their attention is diverted. Moral of the story, people are happy for you and your special day, and this is your day to be (reasonably) selfish. Many people have been in your shoes and know there are so many constraints to planning a wedding and will understand whatever decision you make.
    Ugh. No. You don't have to invite kids if you aren't close to them and you're setting the guest list. But this is terrible reasoning. If you invited the kids and the parents wanted a night out without the kids, they're still allowed to decline for the kids and accept for themselves and get a babysitter. Stop acting like you're doing them a favor and yet in the same breath talking about how you're "allowed" to be selfish. Which is it?
    Yup, logic fail. Just because you invite children doesn't mean those parents have to take them to your wedding. It's like a bride is telling a parent "I don't trust your ability to know when it's okay to have a night without the kids" 

    This. We invited 4 children. They were all going to be involved in the wedding if their parents chose to allow them to be. 3 of them came. The parents of the 4th opted to get a baby-sitter so they could enjoy the evening.
    ~*~*~*~*~

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    NotTheOnlyOneNotTheOnlyOne member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I considered having a child free wedding, but then realized that there were only 4 kids (2 sets of parents) that I don't want there.  It's nothing against those particular kids, but I barely know their parents.  These are people I HAVE to invite as a work or family courtesy and I don't want to pay for 4 seats when I barely even know the 2 I am inviting. 

    I am just not going to invite those kids. Will make it clear on the invitation who is invited and if they try to add them I'll just have to say no.  Hope it doesn't come to that.
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    Knottie1426704856Knottie1426704856 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    We aren't having kids at the wedding, except for my fiance's nieces (flower girls) and nephew (ring bearer) and my cousin's 1-year old (she's a single mom and one of my bridesmaids). We can barely keep the head count to under 200, which is the venue's absolute limit. We just tell people no because I don't want to say yes to some and not to others. And we have friends who have 5, 6, 7, kids. Yeah, no. Get a sitter or don't come. I won't be offended and no hard feelings. But we can't afford for all the kids to come.
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    randomsloverandomslove member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    We aren't having any kids in the wedding itself. FI and I have no children and both want a small wedding party. As it is, the three BMs are pretty much all I wanted. However, we both have nieces and nephews. Our siblings and any OOT guests with children will get a family invite. Extended family will not who live in the area will not for two reasons. 1) I have never met most of their kids. 2) We don't have an unlimited budget.

    Obviously, anyone (no one is pregnant now, but it's a ways away, so... ) who is nursing at the time is free to bring the baby. I don't care if the baby cries during the ceremony. I don't care if my nieces and nephews are so cute that people oooh and ahhh over them (I think they're that cute and I look forward to those moments).





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    SepiaToneSepiaTone member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Just putting out there that you can love kids, and not want them at your wedding because of things like the venue, or just because of work. I spent time working in early childhood special ed, so when I see a child at a wedding, my first thoughts are always things like: "Please, nobody let him eat those flowers, he'll get sick" or "Oh, that's a throwing face and she's by the cookies."

    Plus, some venues are only appropriate for kids if they're going to be monitored all the time. Nothing worse than a parent little a little one wander off any finding them in the fountain two minutes later.
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    flantasticflantastic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    SepiaTone said:

    Just putting out there that you can love kids, and not want them at your wedding because of things like the venue, or just because of work. I spent time working in early childhood special ed, so when I see a child at a wedding, my first thoughts are always things like: "Please, nobody let him eat those flowers, he'll get sick" or "Oh, that's a throwing face and she's by the cookies."

    Plus, some venues are only appropriate for kids if they're going to be monitored all the time. Nothing worse than a parent little a little one wander off any finding them in the fountain two minutes later.

    @SepiaTone - yes, we know. I think that's been said, possibly even in the OP. I love kids in general. Didn't invite any of them besides H's nieces and nephews, because I wasn't that close with any other kids.

    This post was made when we were getting a lot of threads about brides not wanting children at their wedding for genuinely stupid reasons. "They'll steal attention from me" being one. A vague "possibility of ruining my wedding" is another. If a kid throws cookies, or ends up in the fountain, that should not ruin your wedding, or even be a major consideration, and honestly the rest is for the parents to deal with.

    The behavior of children should not be your criteria for inviting them or not. I'd be willing to deal with possible cookie-throwing if I were close to the child. I'm also a big fan of trusting the parents in their parenting. If I'm not close to a person (child or not) they don't need to be invited to my wedding.

    Also, please stop bumping old threads. You've posted on some that originated 5 or 6 months ago, and I know you think you have something to contribute to that topic, but for most of those the OP's issue has been resolved or become moot just by the sheer passage of time. You can read old threads and learn from them, but wait for it to come up again in a timely manner if you're going to offer advice. Otherwise the board gets cluttered with old shit and the OP is not helped.
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