Is this dress okay for a wedding?

simcal18 · June 2015

So a friend of mine has this dress in her closet and asked me whether it would be okay for her to wear to a relatively fancy beach wedding this summer (not mine). I had no idea what to tell her--I wouldn't bat an eye if someone wore it to my wedding, but I feel like the light gray color and floral motif may draw some side-eye from others. What say you knotties? Yay or nay?

PrettyGirlLost · June 2015

Very cute. Totally fine. Who cares if ppl side eye you? Fuck 'em! They are being catty, judgmental jerks.

KatWAG · June 2015

Its NMS but it is perfectly acceptable to wear to a wedding. There is no reason to side eye

emmaaa · June 2015

I think that would be perfectly fine!

photokitty · June 2015

It is was white or ivory I would say no, but light gray, perfectly fine.

loveislouder · June 2015

I didn't realize there were unacceptable things to wear to a wedding (except you know like... nothing at all).

ETA: I don't think I would have side-eyed my guests for anything they wore.

beachyone15 · June 2015

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that dress. Very cute!

PrettyGirlLost · June 2015

loveislouder said:

I didn't realize there were unacceptable things to wear to a wedding (except you know like... nothing at all).

ETA: I don't think I would have side-eyed my guests for anything they wore.

There really shouldn't be.

If you, as a guest, are so easily confused by white, or ivory, or off white, or lace that you can't figure out who the damn bride is, then I suggest a trip to the optometrist. An optometrist will be able to correct your vision, including knocking your ridiculous side eye back in place. I think it's an out patient procedure involving lasers.

Maggie0829 · June 2015

I don't see anything side-eye worthy about that dress.

anjemon · June 2015

I think it looks cute. I wouldn't side eye at all.

novella1186 · June 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

loveislouder said:

I didn't realize there were unacceptable things to wear to a wedding (except you know like... nothing at all).

ETA: I don't think I would have side-eyed my guests for anything they wore.

There really shouldn't be.

If you, as a guest, are so easily confused by white, or ivory, or off white, or lace that you can't figure out who the damn bride is, then I suggest a trip to the optometrist. An optometrist will be able to correct your vision, including knocking your ridiculous side eye back in place. I think it's an out patient procedure involving lasers.

2 different people wore all white dresses to my wedding. One of them was not only all white, but also all lace. They were both close family friends so I spent a lot of time talking to both of them during the reception, and I did not even realize they were wearing white.

Weeks after the wedding, one of the guests showed me some photos that she took of other guests, and when I saw both these women in photos I thought "huh, they wore white. And they looked super cute."

As far as I know, no one confused either of them with me. Cuz, ya know, I was the one in the veil standing at the alter and all.

sarawifenow · June 2015

I think it is fine and really cute! I would totally wear something like that.

doeydo · June 2015

Very pretty and not side-eye worthy at all.

STARMOON44 · June 2015

I hate guests wearing white to weddings, but this isn't white. It's grey. Totally find.

photokitty · June 2015

As a bride I couldn't tell you if anyone wore white. I could not have cared less what anyone was wearing.

But as a guest, I totally side eye that woman who thought of all the things in her closet she should wear a white lace dress or satin ivory gown. I'll admit, I own it - I am catty and judgmental and think it's tacky to wear white to a wedding, not bc it's confusing anyone who the bride is, but bc I can side eye as I choose.

novella1186 · June 2015

photokitty said:

As a bride I couldn't tell you if anyone wore white. I could not have cared less what anyone was wearing.

But as a guest, I totally side eye that woman who thought of all the things in her closet she should wear a white lace dress or satin ivory gown. I'll admit, I own it - I am catty and judgmental and think it's tacky to wear white to a wedding, not bc it's confusing anyone who the bride is, but bc I can side eye as I choose.

Oh yeah, as a guest, if I saw another guest in an all-white lace dress I would definitely side-eye her lack of judgement or whatever. But as a bride, I didn't notice or care at all. (As a guest I have more time to hang out and people watch I guess?) lol

ETA: so in answer to your question, OP, I think that gray dress looks really nice and I would not side-eye that at all.

hellohkb · June 2015

This isn't white, ivory, off white, etc...This is grey and looks really nice. No side eye from me either.

simcal18 · June 2015

Thanks all! I agree that it's likely fine for a wedding--I just didn't want to steer her in the wrong direction and then have her face dirty looks for the night.

aliwis000 · June 2015

novella1186 said:

photokitty said:

As a bride I couldn't tell you if anyone wore white. I could not have cared less what anyone was wearing.

But as a guest, I totally side eye that woman who thought of all the things in her closet she should wear a white lace dress or satin ivory gown. I'll admit, I own it - I am catty and judgmental and think it's tacky to wear white to a wedding, not bc it's confusing anyone who the bride is, but bc I can side eye as I choose.

Oh yeah, as a guest, if I saw another guest in an all-white lace dress I would definitely side-eye her lack of judgement or whatever. But as a bride, I didn't notice or care at all. (As a guest I have more time to hang out and people watch I guess?) lol

ETA: so in answer to your question, OP, I think that gray dress looks really nice and I would not side-eye that at all.

I agree. I would never tell my guests what to wear and come the day-of I am sure to be so excited/happy/crazy I probably will not be able to tell you what my FI wore! But as a guest I totally look around and side-eye people in full on white dresses.

OOOO...even better the MOG in a long white dress....total side-eye. Cut the cord!

*Note: I know I know they can wear what they want as long as they are comfortable but this is the dialog going on my head and it can be down right snarky!

badbnagdway · June 2015

aliwis000 said:

novella1186 said:

photokitty said:

As a bride I couldn't tell you if anyone wore white. I could not have cared less what anyone was wearing.

But as a guest, I totally side eye that woman who thought of all the things in her closet she should wear a white lace dress or satin ivory gown. I'll admit, I own it - I am catty and judgmental and think it's tacky to wear white to a wedding, not bc it's confusing anyone who the bride is, but bc I can side eye as I choose.

Oh yeah, as a guest, if I saw another guest in an all-white lace dress I would definitely side-eye her lack of judgement or whatever. But as a bride, I didn't notice or care at all. (As a guest I have more time to hang out and people watch I guess?) lol

ETA: so in answer to your question, OP, I think that gray dress looks really nice and I would not side-eye that at all.

I agree. I would never tell my guests what to wear and come the day-of I am sure to be so excited/happy/crazy I probably will not be able to tell you what my FI wore! But as a guest I totally look around and side-eye people in full on white dresses.

OOOO...even better the MOG in a long white dress....total side-eye. Cut the cord!

*Note: I know I know they can wear what they want as long as they are comfortable but this is the dialog going on my head and it can be down right snarky!

My MIL wore an ankle length very light gray chiffon dress with beading and such. I hardly paid any attention to it on our wedding day. It definitely photographed whiter than my ivory wedding dress in every picture. I get a do-over, right?

Seriously though, didn't make us any less married. I think the gray dress your friend has is fine.

CMGragain · June 2015

Lovely dress! Perfect for a wedding.

PrettyGirlLost · June 2015

photokitty said:

As a bride I couldn't tell you if anyone wore white. I could not have cared less what anyone was wearing.

But as a guest, I totally side eye that woman who thought of all the things in her closet she should wear a white lace dress or satin ivory gown. I'll admit, I own it - I am catty and judgmental and think it's tacky to wear white to a wedding, not bc it's confusing anyone who the bride is, but bc I can side eye as I choose.

I just don't get it. If you guys didn't care as brides if a guest wore white to your wedding, then why do you give a shit about another guest wearing white at someone else's wedding?

You can't have it both ways!

It's my personal mission on these boards to try and get you guys to rethink this nonsense. :-P Bless your hearts!

mj8215 · June 2015

I like the dress, OP.

As far as the guests wearing white, when I'm a guest and see it I do find it side-eye worthy, but only for a split second, then I move on. I'm pretty sure I won't care at my own wedding.

photokitty · June 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

photokitty said:

As a bride I couldn't tell you if anyone wore white. I could not have cared less what anyone was wearing.

But as a guest, I totally side eye that woman who thought of all the things in her closet she should wear a white lace dress or satin ivory gown. I'll admit, I own it - I am catty and judgmental and think it's tacky to wear white to a wedding, not bc it's confusing anyone who the bride is, but bc I can side eye as I choose.

I just don't get it. If you guys didn't care as brides if a guest wore white to your wedding, then why do you give a shit about another guest wearing white at someone else's wedding?

You can't have it both ways!

It's my personal mission on these boards to try and get you guys to rethink this nonsense. :-P Bless your hearts!

I don't think it's nonsense, tho. I also judge people who dress inappropriately at work. People will make determinations about you based on how you dress - everyday. If my coworker wore a mid-drift to the office I would totally judge. I'm not having it both ways, I'm an equal opportunity attire side eyer.

When I was a bride I had bigger things to focus on and what someone wears doesn't affect the validity of my marriage. When I'm a guest I can only be so busy and so entertained, judging what folks are wearing is just something I do. If you are wearing a skin tight dress that I can see your thong and butt when you bend and dance, I'm gonna judge that too - and have. That happens at too many weddings as well. Either way it doesn't have an impact on me. It's not like I harp on it or tell them what I am secretly thinking.

If you honestly don't ever side eye other peoples' outfits, than you are a far better person than I am. We can't all be perfect. I own that it is catty and judgmental, but pointing it out has little chance on changing this attribute

monkeysip · June 2015

Look, it is a lot of hard work identifying who the bride and groom are. Please don't make my life more difficult by wearing white. Then I actually have to look at their FACES. Aint nobody got time for that.

...

I think it's a cute dress

Nothing wrong with it.

banana468 · June 2015

As a bride, I don't care if you're trying to compete with me because I knew who I was that day and I had a great time. I also got pulled in so many directions it didn't matter.

But when I'm a guest and not caught up in the frenzy I like to people watch and I definitely notice when people are dressed inappropriately. In the same wedding I saw a woman wearing a floor length cream colored gown. No, I didn't confuse her FOR the bride but I wondered WTF she was thinking wearing a dress that easily could have passed for a gown to a wedding. At the same wedding I also judged the woman at my table wearing a polo shirt, capris and glorified Birks. Because it was a wedding at a rather posh restaurant in a pretty upscale town, the person was local and totally aware of this and it's a wedding - not your kid's soccer practice!

In both cases it's about respect for the bride. You give her that color as a guest. It's one of the few ways that the event isn't about you. Head to toe white/cream goes to her. And save the capris and polos for an event that doesn't have a cocktail hour. I own a cute white sundress. DH and I are of the age where we go to a lot of weddings. If my budget was for only ONE dress, it wouldn't be in all white FFS.

PrettyGirlLost · June 2015

photokitty said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

photokitty said:

As a bride I couldn't tell you if anyone wore white. I could not have cared less what anyone was wearing.

But as a guest, I totally side eye that woman who thought of all the things in her closet she should wear a white lace dress or satin ivory gown. I'll admit, I own it - I am catty and judgmental and think it's tacky to wear white to a wedding, not bc it's confusing anyone who the bride is, but bc I can side eye as I choose.

I just don't get it. If you guys didn't care as brides if a guest wore white to your wedding, then why do you give a shit about another guest wearing white at someone else's wedding?

You can't have it both ways!

It's my personal mission on these boards to try and get you guys to rethink this nonsense. :-P Bless your hearts!

I don't think it's nonsense, tho. I also judge people who dress inappropriately at work. People will make determinations about you based on how you dress - everyday. If my coworker wore a mid-drift to the office I would totally judge. I'm not having it both ways, I'm an equal opportunity attire side eyer.

When I was a bride I had bigger things to focus on and what someone wears doesn't affect the validity of my marriage. When I'm a guest I can only be so busy and so entertained, judging what folks are wearing is just something I do. If you are wearing a skin tight dress that I can see your thong and butt when you bend and dance, I'm gonna judge that too - and have. That happens at too many weddings as well. Either way it doesn't have an impact on me. It's not like I harp on it or tell them what I am secretly thinking.

If you honestly don't ever side eye other peoples' outfits, than you are a far better person than I am. We can't all be perfect. I own that it is catty and judgmental, but pointing it out has little chance on changing this attribute

Playing Fashion Police is fun. I do it too when ppl are wearing ill fitting, inappropriate, strange, etc. clothing.

But I don't judge people who wear white to weddings, because it's stupid and they actually aren't committing any sartorial offence. And it's the rationale behind the judging that makes no sense to me. . .there's really no logic.

People judge guests wearing white to weddings because they are reinforcing some misguided "rule" that only the bride has dibs on that color, and anyone else wearing white is trying to upstage her. That's ridiculous. It's just as ridiculous to judge people for wearing red or some other bright color. People read waaaay too much into what ppl are wearing.

No one is going to upstage the bride. No one is going to mistake a guest in white for the bride. And if we tell brides on E they can't dictate what their guests wear to their weddings, that includes letting go of this idea that certain colors are off limits to wear, and the guests should let it go too.

peachy13 · June 2015

I think the dress is really cute! It is perfect for any wedding.

banana468 · June 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

photokitty said:

As a bride I couldn't tell you if anyone wore white. I could not have cared less what anyone was wearing.

But as a guest, I totally side eye that woman who thought of all the things in her closet she should wear a white lace dress or satin ivory gown. I'll admit, I own it - I am catty and judgmental and think it's tacky to wear white to a wedding, not bc it's confusing anyone who the bride is, but bc I can side eye as I choose.

I just don't get it. If you guys didn't care as brides if a guest wore white to your wedding, then why do you give a shit about another guest wearing white at someone else's wedding?

You can't have it both ways!

It's my personal mission on these boards to try and get you guys to rethink this nonsense. :-P Bless your hearts!

I don't think it's nonsense, tho. I also judge people who dress inappropriately at work. People will make determinations about you based on how you dress - everyday. If my coworker wore a mid-drift to the office I would totally judge. I'm not having it both ways, I'm an equal opportunity attire side eyer.

When I was a bride I had bigger things to focus on and what someone wears doesn't affect the validity of my marriage. When I'm a guest I can only be so busy and so entertained, judging what folks are wearing is just something I do. If you are wearing a skin tight dress that I can see your thong and butt when you bend and dance, I'm gonna judge that too - and have. That happens at too many weddings as well. Either way it doesn't have an impact on me. It's not like I harp on it or tell them what I am secretly thinking.

If you honestly don't ever side eye other peoples' outfits, than you are a far better person than I am. We can't all be perfect. I own that it is catty and judgmental, but pointing it out has little chance on changing this attribute

Playing Fashion Police is fun. I do it too when ppl are wearing ill fitting, inappropriate, strange, etc. clothing. But I don't judge people who wear white to weddings, because it's stupid and they actually aren't committing any sartorial offence. And it's the rationale behind the judging that makes no sense to me. . .there's really no logic. People judge guests wearing white to weddings because they are reinforcing some misguided "rule" that only the bride has dibs on that color, and anyone else wearing white is trying to upstage her. That's ridiculous. It's just as ridiculous to judge people for wearing red or some other bright color. People read waaaay too much into what ppl are wearing. No one is going to upstage the bride. No one is going to mistake a guest in white for the bride. And if we tell brides on E they can't dictate what their guests wear to their weddings, that includes letting go of this idea that certain colors are off limits to wear, and the guests should let it go too.

Etiquette works both ways though. Brides can't dictate to their guests what they should do but that doesn't mean guests can do whatever they want. They should dress appropriately and knowing that white = bridal you give the bride that color and try not to look like you're competing. It's a way to not be passive aggressive and competing for attention. While not everyone wearing white or bright red is competing with the bride for attention, there are plenty of people out there who HAVE done such a thing. Just watch a few wedding shows to see a MOG wearing an all red gown because she wants the eyes on her. Or read a few horror stories posted here.

There are plenty of other etiquette rules out there that work both ways: Brides and Grooms shouldn't demand/expect gifts but guests should give them. And guests shouldn't demand thank you notes but the couple should send them. B&G shouldn't plan to be late so their guests all show up on time but guests should all show up on time and expect the B&G to start on time.

badbnagdway · June 2015

banana468 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

photokitty said:

As a bride I couldn't tell you if anyone wore white. I could not have cared less what anyone was wearing.

But as a guest, I totally side eye that woman who thought of all the things in her closet she should wear a white lace dress or satin ivory gown. I'll admit, I own it - I am catty and judgmental and think it's tacky to wear white to a wedding, not bc it's confusing anyone who the bride is, but bc I can side eye as I choose.

I just don't get it. If you guys didn't care as brides if a guest wore white to your wedding, then why do you give a shit about another guest wearing white at someone else's wedding?

You can't have it both ways!

It's my personal mission on these boards to try and get you guys to rethink this nonsense. :-P Bless your hearts!

I don't think it's nonsense, tho. I also judge people who dress inappropriately at work. People will make determinations about you based on how you dress - everyday. If my coworker wore a mid-drift to the office I would totally judge. I'm not having it both ways, I'm an equal opportunity attire side eyer.

When I was a bride I had bigger things to focus on and what someone wears doesn't affect the validity of my marriage. When I'm a guest I can only be so busy and so entertained, judging what folks are wearing is just something I do. If you are wearing a skin tight dress that I can see your thong and butt when you bend and dance, I'm gonna judge that too - and have. That happens at too many weddings as well. Either way it doesn't have an impact on me. It's not like I harp on it or tell them what I am secretly thinking.

If you honestly don't ever side eye other peoples' outfits, than you are a far better person than I am. We can't all be perfect. I own that it is catty and judgmental, but pointing it out has little chance on changing this attribute

Playing Fashion Police is fun. I do it too when ppl are wearing ill fitting, inappropriate, strange, etc. clothing. But I don't judge people who wear white to weddings, because it's stupid and they actually aren't committing any sartorial offence. And it's the rationale behind the judging that makes no sense to me. . .there's really no logic. People judge guests wearing white to weddings because they are reinforcing some misguided "rule" that only the bride has dibs on that color, and anyone else wearing white is trying to upstage her. That's ridiculous. It's just as ridiculous to judge people for wearing red or some other bright color. People read waaaay too much into what ppl are wearing. No one is going to upstage the bride. No one is going to mistake a guest in white for the bride. And if we tell brides on E they can't dictate what their guests wear to their weddings, that includes letting go of this idea that certain colors are off limits to wear, and the guests should let it go too.

Etiquette works both ways though. Brides can't dictate to their guests what they should do but that doesn't mean guests can do whatever they want. They should dress appropriately and knowing that white = bridal you give the bride that color and try not to look like you're competing. It's a way to not be passive aggressive and competing for attention. While not everyone wearing white or bright red is competing with the bride for attention, there are plenty of people out there who HAVE done such a thing. Just watch a few wedding shows to see a MOG wearing an all red gown because she wants the eyes on her. Or read a few horror stories posted here.

There are plenty of other etiquette rules out there that work both ways: Brides and Grooms shouldn't demand/expect gifts but guests should give them. And guests shouldn't demand thank you notes but the couple should send them. B&G shouldn't plan to be late so their guests all show up on time but guests should all show up on time and expect the B&G to start on time.

I get the white thing. I wouldn't judge super hard but when I saw a guest in head to toe white or ivory I think, seriously, wear any other color, or even white with another color in a pattern.

Red though? Now we're expanding it to red? I helped H's step mom pick out a bright red dress for our wedding because that was the dress she felt comfortable in. She brightens up every picture she's in.

southernbelle0915 · June 2015

I wouldn't think twice about that dress being "bad" to wear to a wedding. I don't even think it's on the boarder of "welllll maybe it's too white" or whatever. Very cute!

Is this dress okay for a wedding?

Re: Is this dress okay for a wedding?

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