Is this dress okay for a wedding?

banana468

badbnagdway said:

banana468 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

photokitty said:

As a bride I couldn't tell you if anyone wore white. I could not have cared less what anyone was wearing.

But as a guest, I totally side eye that woman who thought of all the things in her closet she should wear a white lace dress or satin ivory gown. I'll admit, I own it - I am catty and judgmental and think it's tacky to wear white to a wedding, not bc it's confusing anyone who the bride is, but bc I can side eye as I choose.

I just don't get it.  If you guys didn't care as brides if a guest wore white to your wedding, then why do you give a shit about another guest wearing white at someone else's wedding?

You can't have it both ways!

It's my personal mission on these boards to try and get you guys to rethink this nonsense.  :-P  Bless your hearts!

I don't think it's nonsense, tho. I also judge people who dress inappropriately at work. People will make determinations about you based on how you dress - everyday. If my coworker wore a mid-drift to the office I would totally judge. I'm not having it both ways, I'm an equal opportunity attire side eyer.

When I was a bride I had bigger things to focus on and what someone wears doesn't affect the validity of my marriage. When I'm a guest I can only be so busy and so entertained, judging what folks are wearing is just something I do. If you are wearing a skin tight dress that I can see your thong and butt when you bend and dance, I'm gonna judge that too - and have. That happens at too many weddings as well. Either way it doesn't have an impact on me. It's not like I harp on it or tell them what I am secretly thinking.

If you honestly don't ever side eye other peoples' outfits, than you are a far better person than I am. We can't all be perfect. I own that it is catty and judgmental, but pointing it out has little chance on changing this attribute

Playing Fashion Police is fun. I do it too when ppl are wearing ill fitting, inappropriate, strange, etc. clothing. But I don't judge people who wear white to weddings, because it's stupid and they actually aren't committing any sartorial offence. And it's the rationale behind the judging that makes no sense to me. . .there's really no logic. People judge guests wearing white to weddings because they are reinforcing some misguided "rule" that only the bride has dibs on that color, and anyone else wearing white is trying to upstage her. That's ridiculous. It's just as ridiculous to judge people for wearing red or some other bright color. People read waaaay too much into what ppl are wearing. No one is going to upstage the bride. No one is going to mistake a guest in white for the bride. And if we tell brides on E they can't dictate what their guests wear to their weddings, that includes letting go of this idea that certain colors are off limits to wear, and the guests should let it go too.

Etiquette works both ways though.   Brides can't dictate to their guests what they should do but that doesn't mean guests can do whatever they want.  They should dress appropriately and knowing that white = bridal you give the bride that color and try not to look like you're competing.   It's a way to not be passive aggressive and competing for attention.   While not everyone wearing white or bright red is competing with the bride for attention, there are plenty of people out there who HAVE done such a thing.   Just watch a few wedding shows to see a MOG wearing an all red gown because she wants the eyes on her.   Or read a few horror stories posted here. 

There are plenty of other etiquette rules out there that work both ways: Brides and Grooms shouldn't demand/expect gifts but guests should give them.   And guests shouldn't demand thank you notes but the couple should send them.    B&G shouldn't plan to be late so their guests all show up on time but guests should all show up on time and expect the B&G to start on time.   

I get the white thing. I wouldn't judge super hard but when I saw a guest in head to toe white or ivory I think, seriously, wear any other color, or even white with another color in a pattern. 

Red though? Now we're expanding it to red? I helped H's step mom pick out a bright red dress for our wedding because that was the dress she felt comfortable in. She brightens up every picture she's in. 

It's not really new.   You're not supposed to compete with the bride.   I don't care about red but remember it in an episode from Whose Wedding is it Anyway when the MOG was all about herself. 

beachyone15

@badbnagdway Apparently some people think black isn't appropriate either because It's too "funeral-y". And then there are the people that think that men shouldn't wear black suits to a wedding. IMO black is appropriate for pretty much any occasion. Haters gonna hate.

southernbelle0915

banana468 said:

badbnagdway said:

banana468 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

photokitty said:

As a bride I couldn't tell you if anyone wore white. I could not have cared less what anyone was wearing.

But as a guest, I totally side eye that woman who thought of all the things in her closet she should wear a white lace dress or satin ivory gown. I'll admit, I own it - I am catty and judgmental and think it's tacky to wear white to a wedding, not bc it's confusing anyone who the bride is, but bc I can side eye as I choose.

I just don't get it.  If you guys didn't care as brides if a guest wore white to your wedding, then why do you give a shit about another guest wearing white at someone else's wedding?

You can't have it both ways!

It's my personal mission on these boards to try and get you guys to rethink this nonsense.  :-P  Bless your hearts!

I don't think it's nonsense, tho. I also judge people who dress inappropriately at work. People will make determinations about you based on how you dress - everyday. If my coworker wore a mid-drift to the office I would totally judge. I'm not having it both ways, I'm an equal opportunity attire side eyer.

When I was a bride I had bigger things to focus on and what someone wears doesn't affect the validity of my marriage. When I'm a guest I can only be so busy and so entertained, judging what folks are wearing is just something I do. If you are wearing a skin tight dress that I can see your thong and butt when you bend and dance, I'm gonna judge that too - and have. That happens at too many weddings as well. Either way it doesn't have an impact on me. It's not like I harp on it or tell them what I am secretly thinking.

If you honestly don't ever side eye other peoples' outfits, than you are a far better person than I am. We can't all be perfect. I own that it is catty and judgmental, but pointing it out has little chance on changing this attribute

Playing Fashion Police is fun. I do it too when ppl are wearing ill fitting, inappropriate, strange, etc. clothing. But I don't judge people who wear white to weddings, because it's stupid and they actually aren't committing any sartorial offence. And it's the rationale behind the judging that makes no sense to me. . .there's really no logic. People judge guests wearing white to weddings because they are reinforcing some misguided "rule" that only the bride has dibs on that color, and anyone else wearing white is trying to upstage her. That's ridiculous. It's just as ridiculous to judge people for wearing red or some other bright color. People read waaaay too much into what ppl are wearing. No one is going to upstage the bride. No one is going to mistake a guest in white for the bride. And if we tell brides on E they can't dictate what their guests wear to their weddings, that includes letting go of this idea that certain colors are off limits to wear, and the guests should let it go too.

Etiquette works both ways though.   Brides can't dictate to their guests what they should do but that doesn't mean guests can do whatever they want.  They should dress appropriately and knowing that white = bridal you give the bride that color and try not to look like you're competing.   It's a way to not be passive aggressive and competing for attention.   While not everyone wearing white or bright red is competing with the bride for attention, there are plenty of people out there who HAVE done such a thing.   Just watch a few wedding shows to see a MOG wearing an all red gown because she wants the eyes on her.   Or read a few horror stories posted here. 

There are plenty of other etiquette rules out there that work both ways: Brides and Grooms shouldn't demand/expect gifts but guests should give them.   And guests shouldn't demand thank you notes but the couple should send them.    B&G shouldn't plan to be late so their guests all show up on time but guests should all show up on time and expect the B&G to start on time.   

I get the white thing. I wouldn't judge super hard but when I saw a guest in head to toe white or ivory I think, seriously, wear any other color, or even white with another color in a pattern. 

Red though? Now we're expanding it to red? I helped H's step mom pick out a bright red dress for our wedding because that was the dress she felt comfortable in. She brightens up every picture she's in. 

It's not really new.   You're not supposed to compete with the bride.   I don't care about red but remember it in an episode from Whose Wedding is it Anyway when the MOG was all about herself. 

This reminds me of when Kelly Kapoor wore a long white dress and tiara to Phyllis' wedding.

[Deleted User]

That dress is perfectly fine for a wedding! I hope your friend has fun!

VulgarGirl

What if the bride doesn't wear white? (sorry but I'm not touching that quote tree or messing with boxes, too early)

Some bitches wore red dresses to my wedding. Clearly they were trying to compete with me and my dress. 

Also what about when there are two brides who both wear long white dresses? Are they competing with each other? 

And if the wedding is for two grooms, can you wear a white dress then? Do all the men have to not wear whatever color it is the grooms are wearing?

Speaking of grooms why are we only worried about "competing" with brides? Don't the grooms deserve to shine? So I guess...no suits of the same color grooms wear? So they don't look like they're competing with the groom. Or are we saying you can only "steal thunder" from the bride cause it's her day? Cause...that's the exact opposite of what we always say.

PrettyGirlLost

banana468 said:

badbnagdway said:

Etiquette works both ways though.   Brides can't dictate to their guests what they should do but that doesn't mean guests can do whatever they want.  They should dress appropriately and knowing that white = bridal you give the bride that color and try not to look like you're competing.   It's a way to not be passive aggressive and competing for attention.   While not everyone wearing white or bright red is competing with the bride for attention, there are plenty of people out there who HAVE done such a thing.   Just watch a few wedding shows to see a MOG wearing an all red gown because she wants the eyes on her.   Or read a few horror stories posted here. 

There are plenty of other etiquette rules out there that work both ways: Brides and Grooms shouldn't demand/expect gifts but guests should give them.   And guests shouldn't demand thank you notes but the couple should send them.    B&G shouldn't plan to be late so their guests all show up on time but guests should all show up on time and expect the B&G to start on time.   

I get the white thing. I wouldn't judge super hard but when I saw a guest in head to toe white or ivory I think, seriously, wear any other color, or even white with another color in a pattern. 

Red though? Now we're expanding it to red? I helped H's step mom pick out a bright red dress for our wedding because that was the dress she felt comfortable in. She brightens up every picture she's in. 

It's not really new.   You're not supposed to compete with the bride.   I don't care about red but remember it in an episode from Whose Wedding is it Anyway when the MOG was all about herself. 

It's not about showing respect for the bride, because you do that as a guest by showing up to the wedding ceremony and supporting and celebrating the union.  It's actually NOT the bride's day once she invites guests, remember?  And her guests don't owe her a color. . . that's just "It's MY day" SS rationale.

It's also not about competing with the bride, let's get real.  It's actually about trying not to be judged by other catty guests.  Because apparently the actual bride is too busy to notice or care what her guests are wearing.  That's what many former brides have said, and I agree with that.  I only remember what a few people wore to my wedding because their outfits stood out to me because I really liked them.

However, apparently a bride's guests are getting offended on her behalf.

The only way I could see the rationalization that one could think another woman was trying to compete with the bride is if the other woman actually showed up in a bridal gown.

None of these dresses look remotely bridal and I'd never side eye them as a guest if another guest was wearing them:


Even if a guest was wearing a white lace dress, that doesn't automatically scream bridal when compared to an actual bridal gown:

beachyone15 said:

@badbnagdway Apparently some people think black isn't appropriate either because It's too "funeral-y". And then there are the people that think that men shouldn't wear black suits to a wedding. IMO black is appropriate for pretty much any occasion. Haters gonna hate.

Yep, and on top of not being allowed to wear white, you can't wear red or black because once again other guests are going to make assumptions because you are wearing a specific color. 

These are just freaking colors, people.  The assumptions are ridiculous to me.

It's pretty easy to tell how someone really feels about the marriage or if they actually are really trying to upstage the bride by how they act and speak at the event.  It's just as easy for the MOG or another guest to try and upstage the bride in a purple or teal gown, as it is for her to do it in a red or white gown.  The MOB can be just as depressed about and disapproving of the union in yellow as she can be in black.

It's all about how the person is acting, and not just what color they are wearing.

MagicInk said:

What if the bride doesn't wear white? (sorry but I'm not touching that quote tree or messing with boxes, too early)

Some bitches wore red dresses to my wedding. Clearly they were trying to compete with me and my dress. 

Also what about when there are two brides who both wear long white dresses? Are they competing with each other? 

And if the wedding is for two grooms, can you wear a white dress then? Do all the men have to not wear whatever color it is the grooms are wearing?

Speaking of grooms why are we only worried about "competing" with brides? Don't the grooms deserve to shine? So I guess...no suits of the same color grooms wear? So they don't look like they're competing with the groom. Or are we saying you can only "steal thunder" from the bride cause it's her day? Cause...that's the exact opposite of what we always say.

Exactly this.

banana468

It's definitely a "woman is the center" kind of thing - which is antiquated BS.   Then again, that's often the case in a lot of fashion.   In formal attire you don't see a turquoise tuxedo or kelly green ones but they can be shades of ball gowns.

If it's two brides obviously they can do / wear what they want and ditto two grooms.   But I would think most guests are aware of the facts of who is getting married before they show up.

It's not just about the bride, but it's not just about the guest either.   My point is that there should be mutual respect for the couple exchanging vows and the couple should respect their guests.  

novella1186

VulgarGirl said:

What if the bride doesn't wear white? (sorry but I'm not touching that quote tree or messing with boxes, too early)

Some bitches wore red dresses to my wedding. Clearly they were trying to compete with me and my dress. 

Also what about when there are two brides who both wear long white dresses? Are they competing with each other? 

And if the wedding is for two grooms, can you wear a white dress then? Do all the men have to not wear whatever color it is the grooms are wearing?

Speaking of grooms why are we only worried about "competing" with brides? Don't the grooms deserve to shine? So I guess...no suits of the same color grooms wear? So they don't look like they're competing with the groom. Or are we saying you can only "steal thunder" from the bride cause it's her day? Cause...that's the exact opposite of what we always say.

I think that's where we committed what I've seen some people call a fashion faux pas for our wedding. I wasn't wearing the same thing as the BMs; I was standing out. So it made sense to me that H would stand out and not wear exactly the same thing as his GMs. 

I mean it was up to him, obviously, but he wanted to stand out. It wasn't a huge difference; they wore 2-piece suits with white shirts and pink ties. H wore a 3-piece suit with a pink gingham shirt and navy blue tie. He looked studly as shit and he loved his outfit so there ya go. 

But I've been told it's wrong for the groom to stand out from his GMs or something? I don't know. I don't care. It was his day as much as mine.