Dear Prudence,
Our elderly dad has had long-term, concurrent relationships with multiple women for many years in the same city. It seems clear that they are not aware of this and each of them acts as if she is his main companion. My siblings and I are uncomfortable with his deception in regard to his partners and have had conversations with him about this. He doesn’t want to make any changes. This puts us in awkward situations, when, for example, the women separately ask us why they don’t see us more often, or why they can’t visit him during his occasional hospital stays. Each of the women is kind and we enjoy being with them (although we limit this because we don’t want to be in the middle). We wonder what to do in the event of a significant health issue and how to handle the convergence of the companions at his eventual funeral. (He has suggested separate funerals.) It seems like all of them would want to continue some form of relationship with us after he dies. We would value your opinion and recommendations.
—Concerned Adult Children