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Wedding Cakes & Food Forum
kscott2018
member
Appetizer Only Reception
My fiance and I ended up picking a venue that does not allow any outside food (we must order all food from them, except the cake). The dinners are pretty expensive, so we thought instead of providing full dinners to our guests, we would change the time of our ceremony to an hour later (changed from 6pm to 7pm), and instead have an "appetizer only reception". We would have a full bar with cap, a couple different butler passed hors d' ouevres, and have appetizer bars provided by the venue. The bars we picked are a mashed potato martini bar, which includes fixings, "comfort food" bar, which includes mac n' cheese, meatloaf, and mashed potatoes, and a cheese tray and fruit display, which includes seasonal fruit, 6 different cheeses, and crackers. We are ordering enough for each guest to have 2 servings of the mashed potato martinis, and 1.5 servings of the other stations. As well, we instead opted to have a small 2-tier wedding cake (just for cutting purposes, and to save the top for 1st anniversary) and we are ordering large cupcakes from a local bakery. We will be ordering 8 different flavors of cupcakes, to make sure everyone has a flavor they like and to accommodate some family members with diabetes and sensitivity to sugar. This is saving us $1500+. I feel like what we are providing is plenty for our guests, being that the wedding is later in the evening, and the invitation would state "appetizer only reception". What i'm wondering is does this seem rude? Has anyone been to an appetizer only reception? Were there any issues? Did you like it better than a pre-selected meal? Opinions?
Re: Appetizer Only Reception
If you are having a mashed potato martini bar, I would have some sort of other veggie with the 'comfort food' bar.
It sounds like you have enough that this would be heavy appetizers which I would be okay with having for dinner. You may want some crudites or other veggie items if you have a lot of vegetarian friends coming.
Some would say not to list the kind of reception you are having, but I have the UO that I enjoy knowing ahead of time what to expect. I would change the wording from 'Appetizer Only Reception' to 'Appetizers Reception'. Only implies that you are shortchanging something.
Are your guests having to stand for the reception or are their tables and chairs for every butt?
Also, what does "a full bar with cap" mean? Will guests be cut off once you hit that cap, or will the bar switch over to cash bar? Or will they just have a limited selection?
They're doing 2 stations of real food, one of fruit and cheese, and only 2 passed hors d'ouevres. That's not even a particularly generous cocktail hour spread, let alone a meal equivalent.
When ive been to appetizer only weddings it's much earlier in the day, or later (ceremony not starting until 8, so it's clear there isn't a meal provider). Honestly it just sounds like you care about your venue more than you do feeding your guests properly.
To get away without serving dinner, I feel like things shouldn't start until 8pm or later. Think about when you go out on Friday or Saturday night.....are you completely done with dinner and ready to go out with friends by 6:30/6:45 (when you'd have to arrive at the ceremony)? Probably not. It's early - and I say that as a parent of a 1 year old who doesn't even go out anymore.
However, mashed potatoes, meatloaf, macaroni and cheese...these ARE dinner foods. And if you have enough, I would call this more of a strolling dinner than appetizers. (I have never considered meatloaf an appetizer.)
IF (huge IF) she has enough, it shouldn't be an issue - just a different style of dinner.
I went to a wedding like this that started at 7 and ran out of food because people figured it was a strolling dinner, being at dinner time and all. OP - you're going to have to be really sure they have enough. Running out of food is probably the worst thing that could happen at a wedding reception. It's just not an option. If you're even a little bit unsure, move the event to starting at 8:00.
How big will the servings be? We just went to a wedding this weekend that did apps as the meal, and had to go to dinner after. It was a small wedding, and there was enough for us to have a couple servings of each item, but the portions were tiny (each thing could have been eaten in 2-3 bites). I love apps as a meal, but this doesn't seem like it would be quite enough.
Also, what do you mean when you say you're having an open bar with a cap? It's considered poor etiquette to switch to a cash bar at any portion of the evening. Could you switch to just wine & beer + maybe a signature cocktail or two if you want to include hard liquor? That would save a good bit of money too. I don't know your crowd, but we did wine & beer, and one of our beer options was a local hard cider, which the non-beer drinkers loved.
Just note, that the general rule of canape portions to constitute a meal is a minimum of 12-15 large pieces for a four hour wedding. You seem to only have 3.5 pieces per person plus a cupcake. Therefore, you do not have enough food.
I suggest you find a venue that can accommodate your budget to fee everyone properly.
The only other suggestion I can give you is start your wedding ceremony at 8:30 and have a dessert-only reception start at 9.
Anything that starts before 8:30, I will expect a full meal.
Also, what is a capped bar?
Even without no vegetarians, I think more veggies are necessary. If the comfort station is preset, then change the potato martini bar. If someone doesn't eat mashed potatoes, then they are out with two of the choices already. I would keep the double portion of fruit and cheese and add a double portion of veggie/antipasto.
I'm okay with the apps if I'm thinking that your reception will start after 8pm. If it starts before 8pm, you need way more food.
7pm is dinner time. Really, I've worked in the restaurant industry for years and 7 pm is prime dinner reservation time. Didn't matter when I lived in the mid-atlantic, the south, the mid-west or the west. 7 pm is the most popular time for people to make a reservation.
I don't get the options either. Mashed potato bar and then a comfort bar that also includes mashed potatoes plus mac-n-cheese? That is a lot of starch going on there. Where are veggies? Is the veggie tray the only option. How big are portions?
It seems more like a limited buffet to me. I mean, I like meatloaf, but do not consider it an apps item.
I guess if the portion sized are good it will work. It just doesn't seem cohesive to me.
Why did you book this venue before thinking this through? Big mistake!
Capped bars are horribly RUDE! No excuse for this. None.