Customs and Traditions

Replacing the “Father Daughter” Dance

So I’m new to The Knot and don’t know how active these community posts are but I’m hoping I’ll find some inspiration here because I haven’t found much from good ole Google. 

My my father died a little over three years ago and my fiancé doesn’t have much of a relationship with his father. Because of this, I most likely won’t be having a father daughter dance. I don’t really have anyone I can substitute in for my father either. So I’m looking for ideas on what I can do to replace it. I don’t mind taking it out all together but I just wanna see what other ideas are out there and what other people have done before I make that decision. :) 

Re: Replacing the “Father Daughter” Dance

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    I would just limit your spotlight dance to you and your FI and let it go at that.
    ernursejshort+sassy
  • So I’m new to The Knot and don’t know how active these community posts are but I’m hoping I’ll find some inspiration here because I haven’t found much from good ole Google. 

    My my father died a little over three years ago and my fiancé doesn’t have much of a relationship with his father. Because of this, I most likely won’t be having a father daughter dance. I don’t really have anyone I can substitute in for my father either. So I’m looking for ideas on what I can do to replace it. I don’t mind taking it out all together but I just wanna see what other ideas are out there and what other people have done before I make that decision. :) 
    Just skip it. If there isn’t an easy natural solution it will seem forced.
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited February 23
    So I’m new to The Knot and don’t know how active these community posts are but I’m hoping I’ll find some inspiration here because I haven’t found much from good ole Google. 

    My my father died a little over three years ago and my fiancé doesn’t have much of a relationship with his father. Because of this, I most likely won’t be having a father daughter dance. I don’t really have anyone I can substitute in for my father either. So I’m looking for ideas on what I can do to replace it. I don’t mind taking it out all together but I just wanna see what other ideas are out there and what other people have done before I make that decision. :) 
    I am sorry for your loss.  My father died ten years before my wedding, and Mom was married and divorced between that time. 
    There is no substitute for your Dad.  Father-daughter dances are not required or expected, especially in your case.  Find a subtle way of memorializing your father, who will be there in spirit. 
    Some brides carry very small tokens in their bouquet.  I had my grandmother place a flower from my bouquet, privately, on Dad's grave.  No one knew except the two of us.
    What you should avoid is any big display, like a memorial table (It's a WEDDING!) or an empty chair for symbolize your father's absence.  This could upset some of your guests who were close to your Dad, and it is not appropriate at a wedding.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    I'm sorry for your loss. As PPs have said you don't have to have a parent/child dance. However, if your FI does want to have a dance with his mother he can and you can be in the audience. DD's best friend lost her father several years before her wedding and didn't have a "substitute" dance but her husband still danced with his mother. No one will think it is weird. 

    Welcome to the Knot. Feel free to ask more questions we love to talk weddings!
    short+sassy
  • Thank you all for your advice and suggestions! I think we are just going to skip it all together and not worry about it replacing it. As much as I like the tradition behind it, I feel it's just going to be easier to leave it out all together. Again, thank you so much for all of your input; I really appreciate it!
    missJeanLouiseSoonToBeSmith0512
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