If you already got married, what was your husband's reaction to you in the dress? If you will be married, how do you realistically imagine it will go?
My fiance and I have been together for about 9 years. He is wonderful, amazing, caring, loving, gregarious, friendly, and kind. One thing he's not is complimentary.....at all. It's taken a huge hit to my self-esteem over the years. While confidence should certainly come from within, you start to really wonder about yourself when your partner and best friend doesn't have a kind word for you even after spending several hours getting ready. I'm not a supermodel or anything but I'm pretty and attractive and keep myself in good shape.
Anyway, I'm going dress shopping this weekend and instead of feeling excitement, I honestly feel sick to my stomach. People are always saying "wait 'till he sees you" or "he's gonna love you in the dress"....that's not the case for me. Instead of hoping he'll read my mind I've confronted him about it (which is a very vulnerable conversation to have btw). I've confronted him many several times actually. And each time either nothing happens, or he'll provide half-hearted, vague, and insincere "you look good" comments for a couple of weeks before going back to how things were. It doesn't even have to be about appearance, a simple "I'm proud of you" would really go a long way. For background, I compliment him almost daily, about specific sincere things that I adore about him.
Anyway, back to the dress (and my question)- is it just a fairytail hallmark moment for the groom to say "wow" or "you look beautiful" or something? Or is it more uncommon than one might think? I'm terrified to have a first look (likely won't happen) because it would be really weird and uncomfortable for me to show up with the photographer and such and to hear either something like a "hey you" or "you look nice" (am I your sister or your wife???) Also, are you having a first look? If you have had one, was the expectation of the groom's reaction weird? How do I alter expectations so I'm not disappointed on our wedding day? So much work goes into looking perfect on that day and planning for it.
Additionally, I don't feel like his lack of compliments come from his own insecurities. Waitresses hit on him right in front of me, he gets checked out all the time and objectively he's really handsome (it's kindof annoying sometimes tbh).
As an aside, clearly this part of my relationship clearly really upsets me, but when everything else is amazing, it's hard to see it as a deal-breaker. I also have some crippling and disabling health problems as of the last couple years and he's been the most supportive person in my life.
Thanks for your help!