Shower self-invite

aurorajanette

My intern, who will be with me until December just walked into my office and said to me, "I know that you're having a small wedding, and I'm okay with not being invited, but can I please come to your bridal shower? That would make my life complete." First of all, my wedding is not until 2015. Second, seriously, whose life is completed by being invited to the wedding shower of their supervisor. Third, who says that?!?! Fourth, we were not having any sort of wedding related discussion.

It was so off the wall and unexpected that I muttered something about it being pretty far off, and changed the subject to an upcoming project she has.

Has anyone else ever had someone say something like this to you? How did you respond?

ETA: Grammar

southernbelle0915

I had people say stuff like this to be about the wedding (not a shower, but that's just as awkward). 

The way you handled it is exactly how I always handled it. Since she is your subordinate (and young in her career from the sounds of it), it may be worthwhile to have a conversation with her about professionalism. If she's young and inexperienced, this may be a conversation that helps her immensely throughout the rest of her career.

Jen4948

You handled it fine, but you might also say to her, "I'm sorry but only invited wedding guests are invited to my shower in keeping with correct etiquette."  After that, I'd bean-dip her with work-related conversations if she brings up your wedding in the future.

JoanE2012

aurorajanette said:

My intern, who will be with me until December just walked into my office and said to me, "I know that you're having a small wedding, and I'm okay with not being invited, but can I please come to your bridal shower? That would make my life complete." First of all, my wedding is not until 2015. Second, seriously, whose life is completed by being invited to the wedding shower of their supervisor. Third, who says that?!?! Fourth, we were not having any sort of wedding related discussion.

It was so off the wall and unexpected that I muttered something about it being pretty far off, and changed the subject to an upcoming project she has.

Has anyone else ever had someone say something like this to you? How did you respond?

ETA: Grammar

Huh?  How old is your intern?  Sounds like an insecure 12 year old.

mysticl

aurorajanette said:

My intern, who will be with me until December just walked into my office and said to me, "I know that you're having a small wedding, and I'm okay with not being invited, but can I please come to your bridal shower? That would make my life complete." First of all, my wedding is not until 2015. Second, seriously, whose life is completed by being invited to the wedding shower of their supervisor. Third, who says that?!?! Fourth, we were not having any sort of wedding related discussion.

It was so off the wall and unexpected that I muttered something about it being pretty far off, and changed the subject to an upcoming project she has.

Has anyone else ever had someone say something like this to you? How did you respond?

ETA: Grammar

Whose life is completed by being invited to the wedding shower of anyone?

I had a co-worker state she would like to be invited to my wedding.  We had known each other maybe a month when I got engaged.  I just told her that we had large families to invite (which is true we both have large extended families and invited most of them) and that was going to take up most of the slots on our list.  

Lauderdale Pink

She sounds like an inexperienced young woman who is trying to "get in" with the boss.  Give her points for making the attempt, awkward though it may be.  Just let it drop, I am sure she was embarrassed the minute it came out of her mouth.

aurorajanette

JoanE2012 said:

aurorajanette said:

My intern, who will be with me until December just walked into my office and said to me, "I know that you're having a small wedding, and I'm okay with not being invited, but can I please come to your bridal shower? That would make my life complete." First of all, my wedding is not until 2015. Second, seriously, whose life is completed by being invited to the wedding shower of their supervisor. Third, who says that?!?! Fourth, we were not having any sort of wedding related discussion.

It was so off the wall and unexpected that I muttered something about it being pretty far off, and changed the subject to an upcoming project she has.

Has anyone else ever had someone say something like this to you? How did you respond?

ETA: Grammar

Huh?  How old is your intern?  Sounds like an insecure 12 year old.

She's 22. I think she really doesn't have very much experience with proper etiquette or weddings in general. I think she just got really excited that someone she knows is getting married. It was just bizarre. 

emmyg65

I might actually think about having a little conversation about professionalism in the workplace and drawing boundaries between work life and home life. Part of being an intern is learning how to work in an office environment and being professional and such. But that would be above and beyond.

slgirl21

.Wow, that is awkward! I don't understand why co workers assume they are invited to your wedding. When I get engaged I had just started a new job and everyone was like congrats, can't wait for your wedding and I better be invited..hahah..I just smiled!! WTH, seriously..!! I think having a "work place conversation" is good and maybe she will get the clue that what she said/did was inappropriate